Alien Invasion and Other Inconveniences

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Authors: Brian Yansky
Tags: Humor, Fiction, Science-Fiction
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“There won’t be any room for us.”
    “Like what happened to the Native Americans,” Lauren says. “They were so outnumbered, they had nowhere to go.”
    “Shut up,” Lindsey says.
    “All I’m saying is
karma
isn’t just a five-letter word.”
    Lindsey glares at her. “What is wrong with you? Do you think we should give up?”
    “I think it’s pretty clear there isn’t much chance,” Lauren says.
    “Look,” I say, “let’s just worry about getting out of here. That’s going to be hard enough.”
    I look at Lauren, and she sighs.
    “I can get food,” she says.
    “I’ll go through the clothes,” Lindsey says. “Pack things for us.”
    “We need some place to store stuff,” I say.
    “There’s that hall closet on our floor,” Michael says. “No one uses it. I don’t think they’ll look in there. If we’re going to go pretty quickly, I mean.”
    I can see they feel like I do; they’re scared but excited, too. We are going to act. For the first time since they conquered us, we’re going to do something unexpected. We’re going to fight back. Sure, we’re going to run away to do it, but we’re going to fight back.

My dearest,
    I am pleased that you and the girls are so close. I can’t tell you how glad I will be to have you here.
    My father has asked me to send his best wishes to you. He will not visit the colony as planned, though it has been named in his honor. Apparently he has business in another sector. That is what he says publicly. I know better. It’s the rumors of our troubles that keep him away. He has ignored my reassurances and canceled his trip to the colony. Once again he allows politics to guide him, and I am left to guide myself. So be it. I don’t need him.
    My abilities have increased since last we were together. I am much stronger. I am stronger than all of the Handlers now. I have finally matured, and like my father and his father before him, I am reaping the genetic advantage of my bloodline.
    I long to see you, to feel you, to link our minds. I think of the beauty of your skin, of the way the green deepens under the hint of blue, and I feel the lack of you deep inside me.
    We will be happy here. We will be like royalty. This planet will be our kingdom. I will rule, and you will rule by my side.
    PERSONAL LOG:
    My wife will have heard the rumors by now, too, and will be frightened. I hope my letter will quell her fears. I want her to be happy here. We will be happy.
    What is wrong with us Sanginians? Are we not the most powerful beings in the universe? Do we not inspire shock and awe wherever we go? The problem here is a small force of rebels. They are a nuisance, not a threat. The cowardly whispers that the colony will fail undermine us at every turn.
    Of course, privately, I too am surprised by the abilities of the rebels to elude and attack us. This should not happen. I blame the scouts. Had they given us accurate information I would have taken more precautions with the product, been more forceful.
    But I will not allow failure. Failure is not an option. I will destroy what needs to be destroyed and keep what can be sold. This product has no fatal flaw. The product is willful, yes, but we have had willful slaves in the past.
    We will prevail over our enemies and their whisper campaigns against us. I will prevail.

Lauren steals some food, and bottled water. She’s made lists of things we might need. She’s the kind of girl who makes lists.
    Lindsey gets us “outfits” for hot and cool weather. She actually picks clothing to go with our eyes and skin tone and hair color. She’s practically filled the closet with clothes.
    “It’s not that I have anything against being the best dressed escapee in history, but we don’t have room for all that stuff,” I say to Michael.
    He says, “When the time comes, we’ll just grab a bag of essentials.”
    That night at dinner, we try to talk down the aliens’ power in order to give ourselves courage.
    “No alien is

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