Read Online Against All Odds by Angie McKeon - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Angie McKeon
Tags: Contemporary
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Unfuckingbelievable.
“No! No! No, wait, Kylie.” Cooper gets off the sofa and comes after me.
I feel him grab my arm as I reach for my jeans. Anger thickens in my veins, licking the space around me. “Don’t!”
“Kylie,” he pleads, still grasping me.
“Don’t you Kylie me!” I whip around on him. “Don’t you dare, Cooper! You know I get the shot. This is just another shitty excuse to push me away.” I yank my arm from him, throwing on my jeans and buttoning them.
“Baby, Kylie, please. Don’t do this. My head, it’s fucked up. I’m fucked up. I need time. Just give me some time. It’s going to get better, I promise. Just a bit more time.” His voice cracks on every other word.
I can’t see anything but the haze of pain suffocating me. “So what? You can’t fuck your own wife without a condom now? Because, that, Cooper, is the lowest blow I have ever received. Do you hear me? Are you fucking hearing me?” I slam my fists against my chest. The girl I used to be is disappearing like vapor. I drop my hands and look at him, a desolate sob escaping my throat.
I see remorse and anguish on his face. I hate seeing him in pain. It cripples me. But I need more. He’s the other half to my soul, and I can’t live without him. I want to lash out. I need him to understand how deep my pain goes.
I whisper, letting my pent-up torment drip into every word, “Do you know what you just did to me? You just took your wife and broke her. You broke me, Cooper.” Tears drip down my nose, my breathing uncontrolled.
Cooper just stands there, his body tight with tension. The veins in his neck bulge as he tries to hold himself together.
He’s naked. Lost. Tortured. Broken.
My entire body screams for me to wrap my arms around him, to try to soothe him. But what he just did to me is choking out the beat of my heart, making it nonexistent. I can’t do this.
“I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve been patient,” I say. “I screwed up. I didn’t go to her funeral. I know what that did to you. I get it, Cooper,” I cry, brokenly. “I get it. I fucking get it.”
“Kylie,” he says, “that’s not it.”
I shake my head and pin my gaze directly on his tortured eyes. “You can’t hold back from me. It’s killing me. You are killing me.”
“Baby,” he whispers, “please, I love you. It’s not you.”
“Stop. I need to say this and you need to hear it.” I pause, looking at him. “When we lost her… when she left my body, I was at my lowest. I was at the lowest point in my life. All I saw was her death, and I couldn’t comfort you. I had nothing left inside me to give you.” All my rage leaves me as I yearn for the child who was stolen from me. “She was everything to me. Without her I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt like it was going to catch on fire. I couldn’t eat, my insides felt like they were being pulled from my fucking guts. I couldn’t see, my eyes were swollen from crying so much. I couldn’t help it. Her loss devastated me. I lost my hope to go on.” My heart breaks. I feel shattered without my child, but without my husband, I feel completely lost. “Even though I was in pain, I loved you. I might not have shown it, but I did. I got through it because at the end of the day when I closed my eyes, I saw you. I can’t change the past, I can’t change what I did, but you held me together. Now I don’t know. I don’t know anything, anymore.”
I feel my body crumble. I slide to the floor and clutch my hands behind my head, pulling it down. I can’t breathe. I feel as though we’ve crossed another line. We’re further apart than we were this morning. My entire world, already demolished by the loss of my precious baby, is being crushed by the weight of life. It’s smothering me.
I glance up at him. We’re both too overcome by our own pain, problems, and grief to help each other. We’re fighting our own battles.
Cooper’s body trembles as he drops to his knees in the
“No! No! No, wait, Kylie.” Cooper gets off the sofa and comes after me.
I feel him grab my arm as I reach for my jeans. Anger thickens in my veins, licking the space around me. “Don’t!”
“Kylie,” he pleads, still grasping me.
“Don’t you Kylie me!” I whip around on him. “Don’t you dare, Cooper! You know I get the shot. This is just another shitty excuse to push me away.” I yank my arm from him, throwing on my jeans and buttoning them.
“Baby, Kylie, please. Don’t do this. My head, it’s fucked up. I’m fucked up. I need time. Just give me some time. It’s going to get better, I promise. Just a bit more time.” His voice cracks on every other word.
I can’t see anything but the haze of pain suffocating me. “So what? You can’t fuck your own wife without a condom now? Because, that, Cooper, is the lowest blow I have ever received. Do you hear me? Are you fucking hearing me?” I slam my fists against my chest. The girl I used to be is disappearing like vapor. I drop my hands and look at him, a desolate sob escaping my throat.
I see remorse and anguish on his face. I hate seeing him in pain. It cripples me. But I need more. He’s the other half to my soul, and I can’t live without him. I want to lash out. I need him to understand how deep my pain goes.
I whisper, letting my pent-up torment drip into every word, “Do you know what you just did to me? You just took your wife and broke her. You broke me, Cooper.” Tears drip down my nose, my breathing uncontrolled.
Cooper just stands there, his body tight with tension. The veins in his neck bulge as he tries to hold himself together.
He’s naked. Lost. Tortured. Broken.
My entire body screams for me to wrap my arms around him, to try to soothe him. But what he just did to me is choking out the beat of my heart, making it nonexistent. I can’t do this.
“I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve been patient,” I say. “I screwed up. I didn’t go to her funeral. I know what that did to you. I get it, Cooper,” I cry, brokenly. “I get it. I fucking get it.”
“Kylie,” he says, “that’s not it.”
I shake my head and pin my gaze directly on his tortured eyes. “You can’t hold back from me. It’s killing me. You are killing me.”
“Baby,” he whispers, “please, I love you. It’s not you.”
“Stop. I need to say this and you need to hear it.” I pause, looking at him. “When we lost her… when she left my body, I was at my lowest. I was at the lowest point in my life. All I saw was her death, and I couldn’t comfort you. I had nothing left inside me to give you.” All my rage leaves me as I yearn for the child who was stolen from me. “She was everything to me. Without her I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt like it was going to catch on fire. I couldn’t eat, my insides felt like they were being pulled from my fucking guts. I couldn’t see, my eyes were swollen from crying so much. I couldn’t help it. Her loss devastated me. I lost my hope to go on.” My heart breaks. I feel shattered without my child, but without my husband, I feel completely lost. “Even though I was in pain, I loved you. I might not have shown it, but I did. I got through it because at the end of the day when I closed my eyes, I saw you. I can’t change the past, I can’t change what I did, but you held me together. Now I don’t know. I don’t know anything, anymore.”
I feel my body crumble. I slide to the floor and clutch my hands behind my head, pulling it down. I can’t breathe. I feel as though we’ve crossed another line. We’re further apart than we were this morning. My entire world, already demolished by the loss of my precious baby, is being crushed by the weight of life. It’s smothering me.
I glance up at him. We’re both too overcome by our own pain, problems, and grief to help each other. We’re fighting our own battles.
Cooper’s body trembles as he drops to his knees in the
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