bottle of champagne. Hurried, disconnected thoughts like these wentrushing through her head, while she set out the plates for supper and arranged the asters.
“What's this?” asked Gerald at sight of the panda, which was occupying a corner of the sofa.
“Guess?”
“Another baby in your brother's family?”
“Well, not exactly. Not in his immediate family.” And she began to laugh.
He stared at her. “What are you talking about?”
She was enjoying the suspense. “I saw Dr. Lilly today.”
“Lilly? Ob-gyn?”
“Of course. Oh darling, it's to be in June! I wasn't sure enough about it to tell you without first hearing it from him. But it's true.”
Gerald took off his jacket and laid it precisely as always, without causing a wrinkle, across the back of a chair. For a moment he said nothing.
“Are you so absolutely stunned that you can't talk? You remind me of those funny old movies where the wife breaks the news and the husband faints, and—”
“Stunned? I guess I am. This isn't exactly the most convenient time, is it?”
His face! His lips drew a thin, mean line between his cheeks. She could not take her eyes away from it.
“Are you sure?” he demanded. “Was Louie positive?”
“That's a funny question. Of course he was.”
All her strength was flowing out below her knees. They shook, and she sat down at the table, still clutching the asters.
“I don't understand,” she said. “I thought you would be so glad!”
“Well, I'm not. Not here and now. Be sensible, Hy. The timing couldn't be more inconvenient. I've got almost two more years before I finish here. This apartment is too small for a crib, a carriage, wet diapers, and—for God's sake, let's do something about it and wait till the right time, as we planned. For God's sake, please.”
Her heart was pounding so fiercely that she could hardly speak. “ ‘Do something?’ What can you possibly mean?”
“Don't talk like an ignoramus, will you? This innocence of yours gets to be a little too much sometimes, a little too cute, Hy. What do you think I mean?”
She had such a queer feeling of unreality!
Is this happening
? she thought.
I don't know how it can be happening, these words coming from his mouth.
He of all the people in this world. He.
“An abortion,” she whispered. “You're asking me to do that.”
“It's only the timing, don't you see? It's all wrong, it doesn't fit. We can have kids later. Be reasonable, Hy, instead of sentimental.”
“Sentimental?” she repeated. “My baby—our baby. And you don't want it. And I'm sentimental?”
She burst into tears and, jumping up, slammed so hard against the table that the champagne bottle fell and shattered on the floor.
“Watch out! Don't step on the broken glass,” he shouted.
“What the hell do you care about broken glass? You don't love me! If you did, you would love our child, too. You wouldn't ask me to kill it. We're young, we're healthy, we're not starving, we're not in a concentration camp! An abortion—my God, you should be ashamed! How can you—”
Gerald closed the window with a bang. “Temper! Temper again. The whole neighborhood doesn't have to hear this.”
“I don't give a damn whether it does or not! Let everybody know that my heart's breaking, that you're breaking it. Let the whole world know what you are.”
“Wait a minute, calm down, Hy. There's no sense—”
But she had already run to the bedroom. The door crashed and the wall shook. Weeping and shaking, she dropped onto the bed; then suddenly queasy, she ran to the bathroom to be sick. When she went back to the bed, she lay in a fog, in despair, as if her very heart had collapsed.
Hours later, when she awoke, the room was dark. She was still dressed in her sweater set, and Gerald was asleep at the farthest reach of the enormous bed. For a few moments, she stood there looking down at him. So you marry in total trust, and then one day, in one minute, the total trust is breached and
“What's this?” asked Gerald at sight of the panda, which was occupying a corner of the sofa.
“Guess?”
“Another baby in your brother's family?”
“Well, not exactly. Not in his immediate family.” And she began to laugh.
He stared at her. “What are you talking about?”
She was enjoying the suspense. “I saw Dr. Lilly today.”
“Lilly? Ob-gyn?”
“Of course. Oh darling, it's to be in June! I wasn't sure enough about it to tell you without first hearing it from him. But it's true.”
Gerald took off his jacket and laid it precisely as always, without causing a wrinkle, across the back of a chair. For a moment he said nothing.
“Are you so absolutely stunned that you can't talk? You remind me of those funny old movies where the wife breaks the news and the husband faints, and—”
“Stunned? I guess I am. This isn't exactly the most convenient time, is it?”
His face! His lips drew a thin, mean line between his cheeks. She could not take her eyes away from it.
“Are you sure?” he demanded. “Was Louie positive?”
“That's a funny question. Of course he was.”
All her strength was flowing out below her knees. They shook, and she sat down at the table, still clutching the asters.
“I don't understand,” she said. “I thought you would be so glad!”
“Well, I'm not. Not here and now. Be sensible, Hy. The timing couldn't be more inconvenient. I've got almost two more years before I finish here. This apartment is too small for a crib, a carriage, wet diapers, and—for God's sake, let's do something about it and wait till the right time, as we planned. For God's sake, please.”
Her heart was pounding so fiercely that she could hardly speak. “ ‘Do something?’ What can you possibly mean?”
“Don't talk like an ignoramus, will you? This innocence of yours gets to be a little too much sometimes, a little too cute, Hy. What do you think I mean?”
She had such a queer feeling of unreality!
Is this happening
? she thought.
I don't know how it can be happening, these words coming from his mouth.
He of all the people in this world. He.
“An abortion,” she whispered. “You're asking me to do that.”
“It's only the timing, don't you see? It's all wrong, it doesn't fit. We can have kids later. Be reasonable, Hy, instead of sentimental.”
“Sentimental?” she repeated. “My baby—our baby. And you don't want it. And I'm sentimental?”
She burst into tears and, jumping up, slammed so hard against the table that the champagne bottle fell and shattered on the floor.
“Watch out! Don't step on the broken glass,” he shouted.
“What the hell do you care about broken glass? You don't love me! If you did, you would love our child, too. You wouldn't ask me to kill it. We're young, we're healthy, we're not starving, we're not in a concentration camp! An abortion—my God, you should be ashamed! How can you—”
Gerald closed the window with a bang. “Temper! Temper again. The whole neighborhood doesn't have to hear this.”
“I don't give a damn whether it does or not! Let everybody know that my heart's breaking, that you're breaking it. Let the whole world know what you are.”
“Wait a minute, calm down, Hy. There's no sense—”
But she had already run to the bedroom. The door crashed and the wall shook. Weeping and shaking, she dropped onto the bed; then suddenly queasy, she ran to the bathroom to be sick. When she went back to the bed, she lay in a fog, in despair, as if her very heart had collapsed.
Hours later, when she awoke, the room was dark. She was still dressed in her sweater set, and Gerald was asleep at the farthest reach of the enormous bed. For a few moments, she stood there looking down at him. So you marry in total trust, and then one day, in one minute, the total trust is breached and
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