Read Online After Such Kindness by Gaynor Arnold - Free Book Online Page B

deal more complicated than it seems when you’re eleven. But you know I love you and I know you love me, and we’ll always know that, won’t we? Won’t we?’ She made me look her in the face, and I began sobbing anew. ‘And if you don’t get ready for church, you’ll only make it worse for yourself – and me. You know how your papa can’t bear anyone to be late and he’s cross enough already.’
    ‘Will you dress me one last time?’
    ‘Yes, of course.’ She seemed relieved to have something to do for me, and I was dressed in no time, Nettie’s practised hands doing up buttons and tying tapes as she had done hundreds of times before. Outwardly I was calm, turning obediently and holding out my arms for my sleeves and standing patiently as Nettie combed my hair. But I was seething inwardly at the injustice of it all.
    ‘There, you look really pretty. That’s how I shall think of you in the future.’
    ‘ Will you think of me, Nettie?’ I asked, a horrible pang of grief filling my throat.
    ‘Course I will. You and Benjy both, and all the happy times we’ve had together.’
    A dreadful thought occurred. ‘Will you still be here when we come back from church?’
    She hesitated. ‘I don’t know, Miss Daisy. It depends.’ But she avoided my eye. And when I returned from church two hours later, she was, as I expected, gone. Her wardrobe was empty, her bed stripped and bare.
    I have to confess that at that point I threw all my birthday presents around the room in a wild fury, including the parasol and journal and especially the India-rubber ball that Nettie had given me, which no longer seemed so pretty. I hated her then; I hated her for going and leaving me. And I hated the world for making the rules that meant she had to.
Monday 9th June
    Yesterday was the unhappiest day of my life! My dear Nettie was sent away and I’ll never see her again! Mama says I mustn’t mope, but I don’t see why not. Everything is different – and horrid! Mama has made Hannah sleep in the nursery for the time being but she doesn’t like looking after Benjy and keeps asking me what she should do to stop him crying. I told her I didn’t care and everything was Benjy’s fault anyway. I was sorry afterwards and said I didn’t mean it and Hannah said the sooner we had a new nursemaid the better it would be for all concerned as she couldn’t be in two places at once and she was supposed to be a parlourmaid after all and had three ladies to look after as it was. I shall be glad when she’s gone. She’s very ill-tempered and doesn’t do my hair at all nicely.
    Everyone at Miss Prentiss’s knew about Benjy nearly drowning and Mr Jameson saving his life and everyone crowded around me and asked lots of questions, even girls I didn’t know and who had never spoken to me before, which made me feel quite important. I told them Mama and Papa had been very cross and Nettie had cried all night and then she had packed her bags and gone off to London with a month’s wages, saying she would never forget me. DEB
    Oh how I remember the excitement of having a near-drowning in the family! I felt rather notorious and played up to the drama of the situation, quite putting aside all my sympathy for Nettie, and enjoying the feelings of importance that her misfortunes aroused. ‘Serve her right,’ said one older girl. ‘Some servants are so lazy; they need to be kept in check.’ That brought me up short; I knew Nettie was never lazy and she certainly didn’t deserve her punishment. None of us had thought Benjy could have crawled so fast, and we’d all merrily left Nettie to get on with the packing while we went off to enjoy ourselves. And then I began to wonder why Mama hadn’t watched over Benjy herself. After all, she was his mother and was always saying what a jewel he was. Yet she did surprisingly little for him. She rarely fed him or played with him or put him to bed. In fact, she rarely put me to bed either. Indeed she only spoke to