Daniel and me working out. Even if Tucker hadn’t come over tonight. But I don’t feel like arguing about it. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good.” She reaches for my hand and pats it. “Things will smooth out. I promise. When are you going out again?”
“Friday.”
She smiles. “Plenty of time to get yourself ready. Maybe you can practice some of your guided imagery stuff.”
“Maybe.” I want to cry, and I’m not even sure why.
“I love you, Scarlett. I just want you to be happy.”
I give her a hug, then stand. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
“Night.”
I get ready for bed, ignoring the sorrow that expands inside my chest, choking off my air. I lay down on the bed and tears burn my eyes until I can’t hold them in any longer. They stream down my face, dripping on my pillow.
The pillow Tucker slept on.
Three different battles wage on three fronts. Daniel, Caroline, and Tucker.
I wonder if my expectations of Daniel are too great. That I’ve seen too many rom-coms that set unrealistic expectations that no relationship could ever live up to. Did I overreact to his comments, especially since he apologized multiple times?
Part of me wonders if Caroline is right and maybe I’m not giving Daniel a chance. I have to admit that I let him do most of the talking. And he does seem like a nice guy. A normal guy. Not like the guys Momma brought home every few months. That has to count for something.
Finally, Tucker.
He stirs emotions in me that I don’t want to dredge up, yet when he touches me, all anxiety flees. When he looks at me, it’s not with pity or disgust. It’s with respect and something more. He really sees the real me, not the façade I wear to get through the day.
Why did he come over? Had he been jogging past my apartment building? There’s no way he could have seen me from the road. He had to have come with the purpose of seeing me.
One thing’s for certain. Caroline doesn’t approve of anything with Tucker, simple friendship included.
***
Daniel is waiting for me after class the next day. I didn’t get much sleep the night before, and I’m tired and cranky. I’m definitely not in the mood to tiptoe around Daniel.
He’s leaning against the wall again, and he moves toward me, looking unsure that I’ll welcome him. “Hey, Scarlett.” He gestures toward the door. “How was your class?”
I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder. “It was good.”
“Do you have time to grab a coffee?”
We both know the question isn’t do I have the time , but will I agree to it.
I’m tense enough with the test looming on Friday, I’m not sure I need this aggravation. I brush the back of my hand against my forehead. “I really need to study.”
His mouth purses. “It’s only twenty minutes. Then you’ll have an hour before Arabic.”
I’m irritated that he’s trying to arrange my study time, but he’s right. It’s only twenty minutes out of the seven hours I estimate that I have left to study. “Okay.”
He grins, looking so happy that I feel guilty for almost telling him no.
Daniel talks about the movie on the way to The Higher Ground. Since I didn’t notice most of it, I have little to contribute, not that he seems to notice. I could be offended by this but instead see it as a relief. I’m not required to carry much of the conversation.
He remembers how I take my coffee—medium roast, room for cream and sugar—and orders mine with his. That’s thoughtful, right ? Is it wrong that I have to ask myself?
We sit at a table by the window, and I see Tucker walking across the campus. He’s with a group of people, and he’s in the center. I recognize two of the guys from the party a couple of weeks ago. My heart seizes when I realize they are coming to The Higher Ground. What will he think about me sitting with Daniel? Then again, maybe he’ll be happy. He was the one who encouraged me to date him.
My frustration mushrooms. This is why I need rules.
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