Read Online After All This Time by Nikita Singh - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Nikita Singh
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make sense of time and place, breathing heavily, too warm under the comforter. When she felt like she could get up without keeling over, she tentatively pulled one foot from under her butt and then another. She managed to stand up, and walk to the window. There was a water bottle on the windowsill. After gulping down some water, she felt her nostrils opening up for air again.
She put on her slippers and walked to the bathroom. She never looked in the mirror any more. Since finding out about her disease, every time she saw her reflection, she imagined some sign or other on her face that would indicate how her condition was getting worse. She would invent lines and spots and blemishes, and would convince herself her health was deteriorating every second. Before long, she would go into full-blown panic mode, and that was never good, especially when she was trying desperately to conquer a fatal condition by refusing to think about it.
She took her time, cleaning her teeth, then her body and her hair, attempting to wash off her disease. At the very least she had hoped it would make her feel cleaner, lighter, but at the end of the hot shower all she felt was a cold shiver and a runny nose. She wrapped herself in her old bathrobe, the one with Dora the Explorer on it that she had had since she was ten; it barely fit her now. She had never seen the cartoon, but begged her mother to buy it; she had been enchanted with Dora’s huge eyes.
‘I thought I heard you move around,’ her mother was at the door, peeking into her bedroom.
‘Morning, Mom,’ Lavanya mumbled, her throat feeling rough and torn.
‘Is everything okay? Why are your eyes so swollen? Have you been crying?’ Mrs Suryavanshi held her daughter by her shoulders and peered into her eyes.
‘No, my migraine’s giving me trouble. And I think I caught a cold. That’s all.’ Lavanya forced her eyes to open wide in an attempt to flatten her forehead again.
‘I told you to wear a hat. You never listen. I thought something was wrong when you did not wake up in the morning, but you were up till late last night, weren’t you? I saw light coming from under your door.’
‘Mom, you worry too much. I’m okay. You don’t have to stay up to see what time I go to sleep,’ Lavanya chuckled.
‘
Beta
. . .’ Mrs Suryavanshi had a grim expression on her face. She held Lavanya’s arm and prodded her towards the bed. ‘Come, sit with me.’
Lavanya tried to compose her expression. She knew what her mother wanted to talk about; she could see her forehead scrunched up the same way her own had been when she woke up. She took a slow breath, struggling to remain calm . . . at least on the outside. She sat down next to her mother on the bed, her hands clasped together on her lap, as if drawing support from one another.
‘Lavi, you know that your father and I are very happy that you have come home, don’t you?’
Lavanya felt her cheeks burn. Her mother was looking at her, but Lavanya could not meet her eyes. She was staring pointedly at her hands, the fingers entwined, holding on for dear life. She nodded.
‘When you left . . . the house felt empty. It
was
empty. The silence was sheer torture. We took a lot of time to adjust to it. I thought I had got used to it . . . but now . . . now that you are here . . .’ Mrs Suryavanshi looked away.
Once she stopped feeling her mother’s gaze piercing her skin, Lavanya felt confident enough to look at her.
‘What I am trying to ask you is . . . is everything okay with you? I do not know what to think any more. I have not seen you in so long, I cannot tell if this is how you are now, or if something is bothering you. Whatever it is, you can always tell me . . .’
This time when her mother’s eyes examined her, Lavanya did not turn away. She knew if she did now, she would give herself away. She had always been a terrible liar and her mother, especially, could see right through her.
‘Relax, Mom. Nothing is wrong. I know
She put on her slippers and walked to the bathroom. She never looked in the mirror any more. Since finding out about her disease, every time she saw her reflection, she imagined some sign or other on her face that would indicate how her condition was getting worse. She would invent lines and spots and blemishes, and would convince herself her health was deteriorating every second. Before long, she would go into full-blown panic mode, and that was never good, especially when she was trying desperately to conquer a fatal condition by refusing to think about it.
She took her time, cleaning her teeth, then her body and her hair, attempting to wash off her disease. At the very least she had hoped it would make her feel cleaner, lighter, but at the end of the hot shower all she felt was a cold shiver and a runny nose. She wrapped herself in her old bathrobe, the one with Dora the Explorer on it that she had had since she was ten; it barely fit her now. She had never seen the cartoon, but begged her mother to buy it; she had been enchanted with Dora’s huge eyes.
‘I thought I heard you move around,’ her mother was at the door, peeking into her bedroom.
‘Morning, Mom,’ Lavanya mumbled, her throat feeling rough and torn.
‘Is everything okay? Why are your eyes so swollen? Have you been crying?’ Mrs Suryavanshi held her daughter by her shoulders and peered into her eyes.
‘No, my migraine’s giving me trouble. And I think I caught a cold. That’s all.’ Lavanya forced her eyes to open wide in an attempt to flatten her forehead again.
‘I told you to wear a hat. You never listen. I thought something was wrong when you did not wake up in the morning, but you were up till late last night, weren’t you? I saw light coming from under your door.’
‘Mom, you worry too much. I’m okay. You don’t have to stay up to see what time I go to sleep,’ Lavanya chuckled.
‘
Beta
. . .’ Mrs Suryavanshi had a grim expression on her face. She held Lavanya’s arm and prodded her towards the bed. ‘Come, sit with me.’
Lavanya tried to compose her expression. She knew what her mother wanted to talk about; she could see her forehead scrunched up the same way her own had been when she woke up. She took a slow breath, struggling to remain calm . . . at least on the outside. She sat down next to her mother on the bed, her hands clasped together on her lap, as if drawing support from one another.
‘Lavi, you know that your father and I are very happy that you have come home, don’t you?’
Lavanya felt her cheeks burn. Her mother was looking at her, but Lavanya could not meet her eyes. She was staring pointedly at her hands, the fingers entwined, holding on for dear life. She nodded.
‘When you left . . . the house felt empty. It
was
empty. The silence was sheer torture. We took a lot of time to adjust to it. I thought I had got used to it . . . but now . . . now that you are here . . .’ Mrs Suryavanshi looked away.
Once she stopped feeling her mother’s gaze piercing her skin, Lavanya felt confident enough to look at her.
‘What I am trying to ask you is . . . is everything okay with you? I do not know what to think any more. I have not seen you in so long, I cannot tell if this is how you are now, or if something is bothering you. Whatever it is, you can always tell me . . .’
This time when her mother’s eyes examined her, Lavanya did not turn away. She knew if she did now, she would give herself away. She had always been a terrible liar and her mother, especially, could see right through her.
‘Relax, Mom. Nothing is wrong. I know
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