I snapped, although a flicker of fear ran through me at her question. I didn’t have time to wonder about that now, though.
I looked back at the stairs, thinking of the barely-breathing young man that slept in the sickroom. “Take care of Jonn for me.”
“You should say goodbye,” Ivy said.
A tug-of-war pulled my heart in two directions, but in the end, I heeded her suggestion and climbed the stairs again, alone, to get one last glimpse. When I reached his room, the Healer said I could go in, even though he was sleeping again and might not wake. I slipped inside and approached his bed. His eyes were shut, and his chest rose and fell beneath the quilt. I reached for his hand but didn’t touch him.
“I’m going away,” I whispered. “Something’s happened. Ivy will get the Sickness if I don’t.” I chewed my lip until blood flowed over my tongue as I stared at a hole in the quilt. “If you hadn’t done this to yourself, I wouldn’t be alone,” I said.
He didn’t move.
“They burned the farm, Jonn,” I said.
Jonn stirred but didn’t wake.
Maybe it was better that Da’s journals were gone, if that was what had led to Jonn’s idea for giving himself the Sickness in the first place. Anger rose in me, squeezing my throat shut. I rose and left the room.
Ivy waited by the door, the courage in her eyes threadbare and her smile tremulous. My heart was a stone in my chest as I looked at her.
“I’ll come back to you,” I promised. “I’ll find Borde and that device. I’ll fix this, Ivy.”
“Lia...” She faltered. “But if you don’t... I mean...”
“I’ll come back,” I said firmly. “I always have before.” I hugged her, and she was brittle in my arms—bony, restless with hope and sadness, bristling with bravado. I savored the warmth of her breath against my cheek, the tickle of her hair on my hands, and her scent of wool and charcoal and snow blossoms. She smelled like our home.
We stepped away from each other. I could delay no longer, not if I wanted to get a good start on the journey today. I went to the door and opened it without looking back, but I sensed her eyes on me all the way to the porch and into the yard.
I passed beneath the bars of the Cages into the Frost as dawn broke through the trees. The path was empty, and I ran it, just like in the days when I’d been rushing to deliver quota on time. My breath escaped from my lips in puffs of white, and my heartbeat kept time with my pounding footfalls. Around me, the white wilderness trembled with uneasy silence.
By the time my sides were aching and my legs were trembling from the run, I reached the river that separated the Frost from Aeralian land. My steps slowed. I stopped and stared at the rushing black water, and memories fell over me like a mist. I had a flash of a recollection of Cole at my elbow as we lingered at the brink of this river, catching sight of Aeralian soldiers through the trees. That had been before everything had started. Before everything had changed. When he was just a young village boy who wanted to court me, and I didn’t know he’d murdered my parents. I didn’t know what my Weaver blood meant. I didn’t know how much my heart could love.
Back then, nobody dared to cross the river.
Sucking in a deep breath, I gathered my courage and stepped into the icy water. Froth swirled around the soles of my boots as I leaped from rock to rock, avoiding the deepest parts. I reached the other side, and as I scrambled up the muddy bank, my stomach plummeted. I’d officially crossed into Aeralis.
There was no turning back now.
Mist clung to the trees on this side of the river, obscuring everything but the ground right in front of me. Light lanced through the gray, and then I was breaking through the fog as I reached level ground and left the river behind. An endless sky piled with clouds and a field of broken stalks and half-melted snow stretched away for miles. There were no trees. A cold wind swept
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