Read Online Adventures of a Vegan Vamp: A Paranormal Cozy Mystery by Cate Lawley - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Cate Lawley
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outside the formal justice system. Before it ever gets to a fair trial. But I could be wrong—you’re here, after all.”
I tried for a poker face—but failed utterly. I could feel my eyes get wide. “Why would I not be here?”
“Oh, back in the old days, the Society would have disappeared you.”
“But now they just ignore me and hope for the best? That hardly sounds like a good plan for the health of the community.” Great—I was talking like Wembley. Like I even knew who made up “the community.”
Wembley steepled his fingers together, a gesture at odds with his slumped posture in the beanbag chair. “I don’t think you were expected to survive. You’re an anomaly. If you don’t mind me asking—how exactly are you feeding yourself? You have an aversion to blood, correct?”
Every time I thought about blood, I had a flashback to the doctor’s office and that noxious smell.
“I’ve never been able to watch when my blood’s been drawn, but I’ve never actually been phobic. Then the doctor shoved a tube of blood in my hand, and I freaked out and dropped it even though it wasn’t mine and it was in a tube.” A shiver crawled across my skin. “Pretty sure that was all about Anton confirming something was up with me.”
He leaned forward. “Quite possibly.”
I shrank back into the depths of the sofa. “Uh…” I pointed as discreetly as I could at his mouth, where a wicked set of fangs had appeared. “Your, uh, you know…”
Quick as a flash, the fangs disappeared. “Ah. I was fasting—good for the spleen and all that—when Alex contacted me about this meeting. I’m somewhat susceptible to the odd suggestion right now. You were saying about the blood?”
There was still a glint in his eye at the mention of blood—but no fangs.
“Well, the odor was terrible. Noxious. I can’t describe it. I was too busy puking to take notes.”
“The smell of blood made you vomit. Blood certainly shouldn’t trigger an aversive reaction in a vampire. So fascinating.” He eyed me like I was a tiny little lab rat.
“That’s all you have to say? No explanations? Advice? Anything?”
Wembley smiled. “You’re here, so you’re obviously eating something. What’s keeping you going?”
This was certainly turning out to be less informative than I’d hoped. Was it too much to ask that my own people know how to keep me alive? And maybe share that information with me?
I sighed. “Vegan nutrition supplement shakes, orange juice, tons of water, and some coffee. Though after about three large French-press pots, I got a little loopy.” Looking around the room, I added, “It might be something you’d enjoy. I saw some weird stuff. But before that last pot—it was heavenly.”
“Hm.” Wembley gave me a curious look. “Not decaf?”
“You’re kidding, right? Why bother?” I tried not to look at him like he was a crazy man—but decaffeinated coffee? Why not just pee in a cup and drink that? At least that wouldn’t taste like some chemically manufactured cocktail.
“Well, most vamps would be trying to fly off the top of a very tall building by the second or third cup. Your reaction is odd, just so you know.”
“Oh.” I tried to remember what exactly I’d experienced. “My painting spoke to me, Great-Auntie Lula appeared—she was the key, because she used to drink Ensure shakes all day. Although Alex seemed pretty sure no real ghosts had been in my place. And there was the car alarm that smelled like burnt bacon, the neighbor’s music that smelled like lilacs, and the freaky feeling of falling when I opened the bathroom door. Generally, very trippy.”
“Interesting. Very, very interesting.”
I raised my hands in the universal gesture that meant: tell me what you know, you secret-hoarding devil.
“Yes, well”—again with the steepling fingers—“every vamp has certain talents that develop during the transformation. Perhaps you have a touch of precognition. Less common than
I tried for a poker face—but failed utterly. I could feel my eyes get wide. “Why would I not be here?”
“Oh, back in the old days, the Society would have disappeared you.”
“But now they just ignore me and hope for the best? That hardly sounds like a good plan for the health of the community.” Great—I was talking like Wembley. Like I even knew who made up “the community.”
Wembley steepled his fingers together, a gesture at odds with his slumped posture in the beanbag chair. “I don’t think you were expected to survive. You’re an anomaly. If you don’t mind me asking—how exactly are you feeding yourself? You have an aversion to blood, correct?”
Every time I thought about blood, I had a flashback to the doctor’s office and that noxious smell.
“I’ve never been able to watch when my blood’s been drawn, but I’ve never actually been phobic. Then the doctor shoved a tube of blood in my hand, and I freaked out and dropped it even though it wasn’t mine and it was in a tube.” A shiver crawled across my skin. “Pretty sure that was all about Anton confirming something was up with me.”
He leaned forward. “Quite possibly.”
I shrank back into the depths of the sofa. “Uh…” I pointed as discreetly as I could at his mouth, where a wicked set of fangs had appeared. “Your, uh, you know…”
Quick as a flash, the fangs disappeared. “Ah. I was fasting—good for the spleen and all that—when Alex contacted me about this meeting. I’m somewhat susceptible to the odd suggestion right now. You were saying about the blood?”
There was still a glint in his eye at the mention of blood—but no fangs.
“Well, the odor was terrible. Noxious. I can’t describe it. I was too busy puking to take notes.”
“The smell of blood made you vomit. Blood certainly shouldn’t trigger an aversive reaction in a vampire. So fascinating.” He eyed me like I was a tiny little lab rat.
“That’s all you have to say? No explanations? Advice? Anything?”
Wembley smiled. “You’re here, so you’re obviously eating something. What’s keeping you going?”
This was certainly turning out to be less informative than I’d hoped. Was it too much to ask that my own people know how to keep me alive? And maybe share that information with me?
I sighed. “Vegan nutrition supplement shakes, orange juice, tons of water, and some coffee. Though after about three large French-press pots, I got a little loopy.” Looking around the room, I added, “It might be something you’d enjoy. I saw some weird stuff. But before that last pot—it was heavenly.”
“Hm.” Wembley gave me a curious look. “Not decaf?”
“You’re kidding, right? Why bother?” I tried not to look at him like he was a crazy man—but decaffeinated coffee? Why not just pee in a cup and drink that? At least that wouldn’t taste like some chemically manufactured cocktail.
“Well, most vamps would be trying to fly off the top of a very tall building by the second or third cup. Your reaction is odd, just so you know.”
“Oh.” I tried to remember what exactly I’d experienced. “My painting spoke to me, Great-Auntie Lula appeared—she was the key, because she used to drink Ensure shakes all day. Although Alex seemed pretty sure no real ghosts had been in my place. And there was the car alarm that smelled like burnt bacon, the neighbor’s music that smelled like lilacs, and the freaky feeling of falling when I opened the bathroom door. Generally, very trippy.”
“Interesting. Very, very interesting.”
I raised my hands in the universal gesture that meant: tell me what you know, you secret-hoarding devil.
“Yes, well”—again with the steepling fingers—“every vamp has certain talents that develop during the transformation. Perhaps you have a touch of precognition. Less common than
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