Read Online Act like a lady, think like a man by Steve Harvey - Free Book Online Page B

Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going out on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord’s green earth—you’re capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that you’re not going to be in his pockets)—but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he’s going to treat you like a sports fish.
    A perfect example of this is in this “Strawberry Letter”—these are letters the Steve Harvey Morning Show receives from its listeners— sent in by a woman who clearly was just starting to realize she was nothing more than a plaything: I have been seeing this man for six months and everything seemed cool until January of this year. We’ve gone out and visited each other’s homes, but all of a sudden, he’s stopped calling and when I call him, he seems excited, but then he is very short with me. He plans trips and cancels them. And when I ask him if we should cut off all communication, he says “no.” But he doesn’t act like he wants to be bothered. I don’t know what happened, and I still like him, but it just bothers me to know that something could be on his mind that he is not sharing with me or maybe he has found a woman and wants to keep me in his back pocket.

    He’s sport fishing, and in her heart, she knows this. But she’s still trying to hang in there and see if he’s going to do right by her. Any woman in this situation should just leave that guy alone. Instead of investing all this time and energy in a man who can’t and won’t live up to your expectations, let that guy walk. And then when the next man comes along, take control and let him know your ground rules up front (see my chapter
    “Men Respect Standards—Get Some”): “I don’t take phone calls after 10 P.M., because my kids are asleep and I’m getting my rest”; “I appreciate a man who shows up when he says he’s going to show up and calls when he’s going to be late”; and “I don’t have sex with anyone until I’m sure that we are in a serious, committed relationship—no casual sex for me” are all acceptable ground rules for any man coming at you. If those ground rules are too much for him, he’s going to walk away because he’s sport fishing.
    If, however, he has something going for himself, and he knows that in order to complete his life he needs a woman who has something going for herself, he’s going to stick around and keep the conversation going. That’s the man who is willing to put in work—who knows that he’s not going to just romance you, get what he wants, and walk away. That guy right there?
    He’s your man. He’s fishing for a keeper, and after he’s proven himself worthy of your time, then you can let him take you on home, fillet you, put some cornmeal on you, fry you up, and serve you up on a delicious plate.

    Need more examples of differences between sports fish and keepers? Read on:
    A woman who commands respect is a keeper; a woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her is a throwback.
    A woman who is dressed appropriately—has her goodies reasonably covered, but is still sexy, is a keeper; a woman who is scantily clad and dripping sex is a throwback.
    A woman who won’t let you feel all over her body while you’re dancing is a keeper; a woman who drops it like it’s hot and puts on a dance floor performance that would make video vixen Karrine Steffans blush is a throwback.
    A woman who takes a man’s number but doesn’t give him her own is a keeper; a woman who hands out her home, work, and cell phone numbers and e-mail and home addresses to a man who’s done nothing more than buy her a drink and ask how he can reach her is a throwback.

    A woman who can hold a respectful, respectable conversation with a man and his mother is a keeper; a woman who