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Authors: Justine Elyot
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and long, on the lips, then he stroked my hair from my face and said, "You know things are not perfect in my life, don't you?"
"I've had...an inkling." I didn't dare ask. I wasn't sure I wanted the answer. I just wanted the one answer that said, "I want you, regardless." If I didn't get that, I wasn't sure how I would face tomorrow.
"I can't tell you much. I once had a different name and a different life, in a different country. I lost control of my 73
A Very Personal Trainer
by Justine Elyot
financial affairs and got involved with some dangerous people. This is why I think it's important to be on top of your affairs."
"Oh. I think I understand." I widened my eyes. I didn't say the words, 'Witness Protection,' but my eyes flashed the signal, and his seemed to respond in the affirmative. "I won't ask, I promise."
"The less you know, the better. I want to protect you and, if I'm honest, the best way I can do that is by letting you go.
But I don't think I can. I'm not as strong as I make out sometimes."
"Is there a serious risk?"
"I hope not. There shouldn't be. I just have to be cautious.
The really dangerous people are behind bars now, probably forever. I'm going to give you the chance, right now, to walk away, if you feel you can't..."
His voice trailed off, sounding hopeless. I had never felt so much love, so much desire to make everything right.
"I'm not going to walk away," I told him. "What, after all that effort I made to stalk you? I'm staying. If you'll have me?"
"Oh, I'll have you," he said. He kissed the top of my head.
"Thanks," he said. "You're a glutton for punishment, obviously."
"Ahem. That's why I'm here, remember?"
* * * *
In the end, we made a new spreadsheet.
74
A Very Personal Trainer
by Justine Elyot
Complex arrangements of suitable chastisements and their relative misbehaviours were described in each rectangle of the document. For simple oversights and memory lapses, I've found myself over Dexter's lap for a hand spanking, whereas deliberate disobedience or dishonesty has merited a trip to the Dreaded Cupboard for a cane or a whip. For added salutory effect, Dexter has used butt plugs, nipple clamps, vibrators or good old-fashioned home-made techniques to devastating effect. But, on the closure of the spreadsheet and the learning of the lesson, I was rewarded with treats behind the bedroom door.
One night, shortly after I moved in, portrayed a good example of our rituals and routines. Dexter arrived home from work, ejected me from the computer chair where I was working—naked, as was our house rule—bent me backwards for a breath-stealing kiss, then spoke the fatal words, "Open the spreadsheet, Lara."
This phrase always induced the Pavlovian shaking of the hands, and my fingers trembled on the keys, my mind racing through a speedy recap of all the ways in which I had failed to achieve perfection over the last few days.
On this occasion, there was a clutch of Latenesses for Meetings, a Failure to Charge the Mobile Phone, and a shamefully long list of Wasting Work Time on the Internet.
Dexter breathed down my neck behind me, his hands on the chair back, his tuts travelling directly into my ear.
"It doesn't look good for you, Lara," he said. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm very sorry, Sir. I will try harder, I promise."
75
A Very Personal Trainer
by Justine Elyot
"We'll make sure of that, shall we? Fetch the cuffs, the bench and the crop, please. Oh, and the large vibrator, I think."
Words of doom, they were enough to line any heart with lead. So why did they make mine leap? I had to hide the spring in my step en route to the Dreaded Cupboard and conceal my flushed face and sparkling eyes behind my hair while I dragged the specially constructed whipping bench into the room. It had a padded step for my knees and a handy rope-tie feature on the corners so my ankles could be fastened with my legs spread apart. Leather cushioning also protected my stomach from
"I've had...an inkling." I didn't dare ask. I wasn't sure I wanted the answer. I just wanted the one answer that said, "I want you, regardless." If I didn't get that, I wasn't sure how I would face tomorrow.
"I can't tell you much. I once had a different name and a different life, in a different country. I lost control of my 73
A Very Personal Trainer
by Justine Elyot
financial affairs and got involved with some dangerous people. This is why I think it's important to be on top of your affairs."
"Oh. I think I understand." I widened my eyes. I didn't say the words, 'Witness Protection,' but my eyes flashed the signal, and his seemed to respond in the affirmative. "I won't ask, I promise."
"The less you know, the better. I want to protect you and, if I'm honest, the best way I can do that is by letting you go.
But I don't think I can. I'm not as strong as I make out sometimes."
"Is there a serious risk?"
"I hope not. There shouldn't be. I just have to be cautious.
The really dangerous people are behind bars now, probably forever. I'm going to give you the chance, right now, to walk away, if you feel you can't..."
His voice trailed off, sounding hopeless. I had never felt so much love, so much desire to make everything right.
"I'm not going to walk away," I told him. "What, after all that effort I made to stalk you? I'm staying. If you'll have me?"
"Oh, I'll have you," he said. He kissed the top of my head.
"Thanks," he said. "You're a glutton for punishment, obviously."
"Ahem. That's why I'm here, remember?"
* * * *
In the end, we made a new spreadsheet.
74
A Very Personal Trainer
by Justine Elyot
Complex arrangements of suitable chastisements and their relative misbehaviours were described in each rectangle of the document. For simple oversights and memory lapses, I've found myself over Dexter's lap for a hand spanking, whereas deliberate disobedience or dishonesty has merited a trip to the Dreaded Cupboard for a cane or a whip. For added salutory effect, Dexter has used butt plugs, nipple clamps, vibrators or good old-fashioned home-made techniques to devastating effect. But, on the closure of the spreadsheet and the learning of the lesson, I was rewarded with treats behind the bedroom door.
One night, shortly after I moved in, portrayed a good example of our rituals and routines. Dexter arrived home from work, ejected me from the computer chair where I was working—naked, as was our house rule—bent me backwards for a breath-stealing kiss, then spoke the fatal words, "Open the spreadsheet, Lara."
This phrase always induced the Pavlovian shaking of the hands, and my fingers trembled on the keys, my mind racing through a speedy recap of all the ways in which I had failed to achieve perfection over the last few days.
On this occasion, there was a clutch of Latenesses for Meetings, a Failure to Charge the Mobile Phone, and a shamefully long list of Wasting Work Time on the Internet.
Dexter breathed down my neck behind me, his hands on the chair back, his tuts travelling directly into my ear.
"It doesn't look good for you, Lara," he said. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm very sorry, Sir. I will try harder, I promise."
75
A Very Personal Trainer
by Justine Elyot
"We'll make sure of that, shall we? Fetch the cuffs, the bench and the crop, please. Oh, and the large vibrator, I think."
Words of doom, they were enough to line any heart with lead. So why did they make mine leap? I had to hide the spring in my step en route to the Dreaded Cupboard and conceal my flushed face and sparkling eyes behind my hair while I dragged the specially constructed whipping bench into the room. It had a padded step for my knees and a handy rope-tie feature on the corners so my ankles could be fastened with my legs spread apart. Leather cushioning also protected my stomach from
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