Read Online A State of Jane by Meredith Schorr - Free Book Online Page B

college for the first time in twenty years, drank three frozen margaritas, and jumped in the pool with her clothes on.
    She shouted “Hooray!” before dashing over to Claire's seat on the other side of the table. By then Claire was also jumping up and down and when my mom got to her, they embraced in a bear hug while rocking back and forth. Equally enthusiastic was my father who took hold of my elbow and do-si-do-ed me until I was dizzy and laughing tears of joy. As my dad spun me around, I caught a faint glimpse of Kevin grinning and shaking his head at our very rare display of public silliness. Finally, Claire and my mom noticed that Kevin was not an active participant in the celebration and took him into their embrace.
    Thirty minutes later, we had regained our composure and were sitting quietly at the table talking in a much more socially acceptable tone. My dad had ordered a bottle of champagne, a glass of sparkling cider for Claire, and a family style portion of tiramisu.
    My mom clinked her fork against her glass and said, “Hush everyone. It's Mom's turn to make a toast.”
    I had switched seats with Kevin so I could congratulate my sister. She had just apologized for not telling me sooner and I was about to tell her that no apologies were necessary but when my mom demanded our attention, I turned away from Claire and waited for my mom to continue. I could tell she was tipsy because her face was flushed and she hadn't bothered to smooth back the hair that had gone a bit wild from dancing around the table.
    “I just want to say that while I hate sharing the spotlight on my special day, even with my own flesh and blood, I'll gladly make an exception this time. I am so excited to be the hottest grandma on the block…”
    Before she could finish, my dad piped in, “Hear hear!”
    My mom waved her hands at my dad, shooing him away, and kept talking. “And since the happiness of both of my daughters is important, I will be equally excited to be the mother of the bride once again when my beautiful daughter Jane finally ties the knot.” Smiling brightly at me, she said, “Jim perhaps?”
    With all of the festivity, I had actually put Jim out of my mind. But with a few simple words from my mom, there he was. I released a chuckle when my dad muttered, “Not until she makes partner” and I faked a smile when Kevin whispered, “Just don't be a bridezilla like your big sis.”
    Realizing that no one even noticed I had not actually responded to my mom's comment, I took a spoonful of tiramisu as a tear dropped down my cheek. When I looked up from my plate, Claire was looking at me with a furrowed brow. “Come with me to the bathroom, Jane?”
    I nodded, “yes” to Claire and followed her to the bathroom, torn between the need to release pent up despair over being blown off by another guy and guilt for potentially ruining one of the happiest nights of her life.
    The bathroom appeared to be empty and after bending down to check the stalls for pairs of feet, Claire leaned against the sink and said, “Spill.”
    “I'm sorry, Claire. I don't want to ruin your night!”
    “Stop it, Jane. I'll still be pregnant tomorrow. Besides, seeing you cry makes me upset whether you like it or not.”
    I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Looking at myself, I couldn't figure out what I lacked to keep a guy's attention. I had nice wavy hair that glowed blonde in the sun. I didn't even need to pay for highlights! I had big brown eyes with speckles of green and orange. Bob used to say he could get lost in them. Amber. Damn that Randall! Sure, I could stand to lose five pounds, but women much more voluptuous than I had boyfriends.
    I was still pondering my invisible anti-boyfriend gene when I noticed Claire staring at me.
    “Well?” she asked.
    “It's Jim.”
    “I gathered as much. What happened?”
    I told her what happened.
    “Was the sex good at least?”
    I was so over that question already. “No! It sucked.”
    “Really?