and had to take deep breaths to make sure I didn’t actually barf on anyone again—especially since the consequence for my unexpected puke was having a Staffie accompany me every time I went to the bathroom. I think the words Tina used when setting this up were, “We’re onto you.” So much for empathy from the therapists in this place.
“You know what’s in it for you? Not pissing me off,” Mohammed offered, the dark cloud that always seemed to be brewingaround him bigger and more threatening than ever.
“Not a big motivator either. Sorry.” I shot him a big smile to show how unafraid of him I was.
“Hey Emmy,” Justin said, back to being his nice self and not the dickhead who’d mocked the way I ate and panted over the mere thought of porn. “I think I can make it worth your while.”
“I doubt it, but try me.”
“How about me, Mohammad, and Chip finish off the food you don’t want to eat?” he said, tossing it off like it was no big deal, eliminating eight jillion calories from my daily intake. I would have cut off my arm to get this kind of perk. “Sound good, guys?”
They looked at each other, then back at me, and nodded.
“Tempting. But I’m not so sure we could make it work,” I said, having to bite my tongue to keep from screaming
Yes! Yes! Yes!
My strategy: Play it cool and see if anyone was willing to up the ante. Might as well get as much out of my power position as possible.
“We’ll make it work,” Mohammed said, glancing around to make sure no one else was listening. “I’ve been here long enough to know when it’s cool. Deal?”
“I really don’t want to get caught …” I trailed off. And I really didn’t. But I also didn’t want to get fat again even more. Still, it wasn’t as tough a call as I was making it out to be. It wasn’t like I could go down any levels, and that being the case demerits were pretty meaningless.
Everyone stared around at each other, like
What do we do now?
Finally, Jenny started scribbling in her notebook. She hadn’t spoken since those six little words in the puke group
—Wilbur was the coolest pig ever
—and based on the silence that filled our room all the time, I didn’t expect her to anytime soon. When she’d finished writing, she ripped out the page and handed it to me.
I won’t tell if you exercise in our room at night after lights-out
.
That was part two of the consequence Tina had given me. After dinner most days, kids had the option of going to the rec center. Not me anymore, though, at least for the foreseeable future. No exercise plus bathroom supervision basically added up to hell on earth. And these guys had just given me an out.
I hesitated a second more, then totally caved. “Okay, you got me,” I said, a goofy grin taking over my face.
Justin and Chip high-fived, Diana gave me the devil horns, and Jenny almost—almost—cracked a smile back at me. As for Mohammed, every time he knew no one important was looking, he knocked lightly on the table and I’d quickly shovel little mountains of food onto the boys’ plates. Whenever I got rid of some eggs or a chunk of glistening buttered toast, an iota of misery melted away with it. Sure, I was still left with the stubborn ache of loneliness and crappy knowledge that I’d been abandoned again. Hey, I’d take whatever small comfort I could get here.
Then it was off to class. Body Politics was first. I hadn’tnoticed it before, but the room seemed divided into sections: Skinny-minnies on the right, chunky monkeys on the left. I chose a seat next to one of the skinny-minnies.
“You new here?” the girl asked me. She kind of reminded me of Joss with her freckles and blond ponytail. I mean, if Joss, who was an athlete, had been thirty pounds lighter. This girl had a total supermodel figure—giraffe legs, stick thin arms, flat belly and boobs, prominent collar bones. If she weren’t being so friendly, I would’ve hated her for being so perfect.
“Is it that
Kimberly Willis Holt
Virginia Voelker
Tammar Stein
Sam Hepburn
Christopher K Anderson
Erica Ridley
Red L. Jameson
Claudia Dain
Barbara Bettis
Sebastian Barry