Read Online A Place Beyond Courage by Elizabeth Chadwick - Free Book Online Page B

back through the dusk, she looked over her shoulder. She was tired, but there was still an excited, happy feeling in her stomach. Today had been special - a memory to put away and treasure, sweet as a piece of marchpane subtlety.
     
    It was quiet in the bedchamber once Aline’s two maids had curtseyed and left, closing the door behind them. Clad in her chemise, her hair freshly combed to her waist, Aline stood alone in the middle of the room and looked round. The shutters were bolted, but candles of clean-burning beeswax cast a warm golden light upon the furnishings. She could hear John talking to his men in the room below, the rumble of his voice made indistinct by the thick wooden planking on the floor. The thought that this was his bedchamber when he stayed in Winchester, the intimacy of it, made Aline tremble
    A plain wooden coffer stood against the foot of the bed. There was a bench covered with fleece-stuffed cushions, two long poles for draping clothes, hanging hooks, an empty wall niche, shelves containing sheaves of parchment, quills and inks. A trestle and bench stood near the window, positioned to obtain the best of the light. Everything was tidy, ordered, in its place. She longed to touch and investigate, but dared not.
    Tentatively she approached the bed she was soon to share with John. Kneeling on the sheepskin rug at its side, she clasped her hands beneath her chin, looped her prayer beads through her fingers, and prayed, asking God for the strength to help her be a good wife and please her husband. She felt lightheaded and nauseous from the unaccustomed quantity of wine she had consumed . . . from anxiety too. She wondered if she should climb into bed and pull the sheets up to her chin. If everything in this room was in its place, would he expect her to be waiting for him there, in her place too?
    She heard him bidding his men goodnight and it was too late to act. As he entered the room, he stared at her on her knees at the bedside. Although he said nothing, Aline felt as if she had done wrong and stood up in guilty haste. She could feel the soft sheepskin between her toes, the smooth warmth of the beads in her hands. Running them through her fingers for comfort, she swallowed and hoped she wasn’t going to disgrace herself by being sick.
    He sighed as he removed his belt and laid it across one of the coffers. ‘I assume your mother has told you what to expect?’
    ‘Yes, my lord.’ Her voice emerged as a tight squeak. She dared not look at him because she knew she would dissolve in a puddle of terror.
    ‘And you were praying for the strength to see it through?’
    ‘I always pray at night, my lord. I . . . I was asking God’s help to make me a good wife.’ She stared at the sheepskin and fumbled ever more desperately with her beads.
    ‘Then let us hope God hears and answers you,’ he said after a pause, ‘but since we must shift for ourselves on the practical matters, I suggest you shed that chemise and get into bed - if you have finished your prayers.’
    Now she did look up, her eyes widening in shock. ‘You ...you want me to take off my chemise?’
    He nodded. ‘Easier now than tangling with it under the bedclothes.’ He removed his tunic and folded it neatly beside his belt.
    ‘My mother said that . . .’ She bit her lip. ‘I thought . . .’
    ‘You thought what?’
    Aline started to tremble. ‘I . . . I know my duty, my lord, I will not shirk it, but the priests say lust is one of the seven deadly sins . . . and . . . and I do not want to court that sin.’ She saw him grimace. ‘I have angered you . . .’ she whispered.
    He made a gesture of negation and his voice softened. ‘I am not angry at you, but I can think of a few well-fed, lustful prelates I’d take pleasure in throttling. Forget them; forget your mother. I’ll not have them in this chamber with us tonight.’
    ‘No, my lord.’
    ‘Well then, the sin of lust aside, I have the right to see what kind of bargain I have