bedcovers, watching him. Her Delilah plot had worked after all. Samson was shorn, and he was going to tell her all.
The only reason she didn’t stop him was because she sensed that he needed to.
He sat on a chair some distance from the bed, once more lounging back, but this time, she thought, more with weary despair than ease. “I told you I become indiscreet when drunk,” he said. “Then I went on to prove it. After that night in the estancia, I touched no more than a sip of wine for the rest of the war.”
“You’re trying to tell me you let something slip because you were drunk?”
“Drunk and in bed with a beautiful woman. A fatal combination, as you can see.”
“And did you give up women, too?” she asked tartly.
His reply surprised her. “Yes, I gave up women, too. I’m sorry if I was out of practice.”
“How would I know?” Horribly off balance, she hit out. “You were going to tell me how you killed Simon.”
He didn’t so much as flinch. “Yes, I was, wasn’t I? I don’t know if I can make it dramatic enough for you, though.”
He met her eyes calmly. “It is simply as I said. I was indiscreet. I assumed Maria Bianca was as silly as she appeared to be and let her tease our next day’s route out of me. She was very clever, actually. She pretended to beg for escort to her cousin’s home, which led me in the end to explain that we were going nowhere near the place. In the course of which I told her where we
were
going.”
His eyes were still steady. “The rest is as I told you. When she knew our route, she knew that our march would overtake the carts carrying the Cabrera wealth. To her credit, Maria Bianca did her damnedest to get us to stay for Christmas Day, but when I insisted on going on, we were doomed. Except me, of course, Maria Bianca’s all too skillful lover.”
He was right. It wasn’t dramatic enough for her. She stared at him, wanting to believe that there was more, but saw, at last, the naked truth.
She put her elbows on her knees and sank her head in her hands. “But why call yourself damned? It was a mistake. A mistake anyone could make!”
She looked up to see him shrug. “It’s the consequences that matter. My carelessness killed them all. If I’d died there, I’d have just felt stupid. But I was condemned to live, and live, and live.”
“I’d think war gave many chances to die, if that was what you truly sought.”
His lips twisted. “How true. But I’m Lucky Jack. A hail of bullets would take everyone but me. One horse threw me just before a cannonball would have shattered my head. A dense fog once stopped my entire regiment from finding one of the bloodiest engagements of the war. Sometimes I thought Simon was watching over me just to get his own back.”
“If Simon was watching over you, it was because he cared.”
As soon as Justina said it, she knew it was true. Simon had never been one for revenge, and would be the last person to hold a grudge over a mistake. If the dead could watch over those left back on earth, Simon must have been tearing his hair out for three years as his closest friend tried to kill himself and his beloved sealed herself in ice and pursued revenge.
Oh, Simon. I’m so sorry.
“So,” Jack said, “now you have it all, though I doubt it will do you much good. In the heat of the war that story might have got me court-martialed. In peacetime, and with my exalted rank and list of war achievements, no one will act on it.”
Justina rested her head in her hands again, trying to think, trying to sort logic from emotion, right from wrong. In the end she realized she couldn’t hate anyone for such a small mistake, even one that had led to tragedy.
But what did that leave for her? She was thoroughly melted now, and as she’d feared, the Justina Travers she knew simply did not exist. That woman had dedicated three years to a pointless crusade; she had shaped herself into a weapon of destruction, armed to fight an enemy who
The only reason she didn’t stop him was because she sensed that he needed to.
He sat on a chair some distance from the bed, once more lounging back, but this time, she thought, more with weary despair than ease. “I told you I become indiscreet when drunk,” he said. “Then I went on to prove it. After that night in the estancia, I touched no more than a sip of wine for the rest of the war.”
“You’re trying to tell me you let something slip because you were drunk?”
“Drunk and in bed with a beautiful woman. A fatal combination, as you can see.”
“And did you give up women, too?” she asked tartly.
His reply surprised her. “Yes, I gave up women, too. I’m sorry if I was out of practice.”
“How would I know?” Horribly off balance, she hit out. “You were going to tell me how you killed Simon.”
He didn’t so much as flinch. “Yes, I was, wasn’t I? I don’t know if I can make it dramatic enough for you, though.”
He met her eyes calmly. “It is simply as I said. I was indiscreet. I assumed Maria Bianca was as silly as she appeared to be and let her tease our next day’s route out of me. She was very clever, actually. She pretended to beg for escort to her cousin’s home, which led me in the end to explain that we were going nowhere near the place. In the course of which I told her where we
were
going.”
His eyes were still steady. “The rest is as I told you. When she knew our route, she knew that our march would overtake the carts carrying the Cabrera wealth. To her credit, Maria Bianca did her damnedest to get us to stay for Christmas Day, but when I insisted on going on, we were doomed. Except me, of course, Maria Bianca’s all too skillful lover.”
He was right. It wasn’t dramatic enough for her. She stared at him, wanting to believe that there was more, but saw, at last, the naked truth.
She put her elbows on her knees and sank her head in her hands. “But why call yourself damned? It was a mistake. A mistake anyone could make!”
She looked up to see him shrug. “It’s the consequences that matter. My carelessness killed them all. If I’d died there, I’d have just felt stupid. But I was condemned to live, and live, and live.”
“I’d think war gave many chances to die, if that was what you truly sought.”
His lips twisted. “How true. But I’m Lucky Jack. A hail of bullets would take everyone but me. One horse threw me just before a cannonball would have shattered my head. A dense fog once stopped my entire regiment from finding one of the bloodiest engagements of the war. Sometimes I thought Simon was watching over me just to get his own back.”
“If Simon was watching over you, it was because he cared.”
As soon as Justina said it, she knew it was true. Simon had never been one for revenge, and would be the last person to hold a grudge over a mistake. If the dead could watch over those left back on earth, Simon must have been tearing his hair out for three years as his closest friend tried to kill himself and his beloved sealed herself in ice and pursued revenge.
Oh, Simon. I’m so sorry.
“So,” Jack said, “now you have it all, though I doubt it will do you much good. In the heat of the war that story might have got me court-martialed. In peacetime, and with my exalted rank and list of war achievements, no one will act on it.”
Justina rested her head in her hands again, trying to think, trying to sort logic from emotion, right from wrong. In the end she realized she couldn’t hate anyone for such a small mistake, even one that had led to tragedy.
But what did that leave for her? She was thoroughly melted now, and as she’d feared, the Justina Travers she knew simply did not exist. That woman had dedicated three years to a pointless crusade; she had shaped herself into a weapon of destruction, armed to fight an enemy who
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