Read Online A Map of Tulsa by Benjamin Lytal - Free Book Online Page B

I didn’t know whether either of them had pants on, or were naked below the waist. “Time to sleep,” Chase said. I squirmed so as to be faceup, neither ass nor lips toward Chase—but I could already hear his even breathing.
    From Adrienne’s direction, silence. To be in the same warm bed with her was like a lightbulb turned on in my belly. I lay there, waiting to see if her leg would move. I waited for what seemed like hours, to see if she would touch me, afraid all the time on the other side that Chase would stir. Chase was a bear. He would roll over on me without differentiating. From Adrienne’s side I waited for a sign. I inched my leg nearer her, but was nowhere near touching. I had no idea how long it was, my eyes had adjusted, when I finally turned on my side to look at her. Her face was sleeping. The emotion that usually held her face was gone. I raised my head so I could look at her ear—her head looked like it was carved out of soap. Her nose was softer than usual, her cheeks more substantial. Her open mouth was the only thing that was completely dark. I stared, and made my body quiet. Adrienne would have wanted me to control myself. I slept, but it was sleep like in airports, waiting. I saw her sometimes. I opened my eyes and she rolled away, but when hours—maybe minutes—had passed, she rolled back, and I kissed her. She opened her eyes to acknowledge it and moved her sleepy arms to pull me closer. I kept my eyes open too. The kissing was perfect, slick, and noisy. Adrienne got on top of me, and pushed my hair back, and pressed her thumbs to my temples as if it was herown forehead she was trying to clear, to keep from going crazy. She looked down at me—I thought it was the long look of someone completing their love, but of course Chase had woken up, and Adrienne was only looking to see if I was okay, before she moved. After crawling over, she sat on his stomach as she had sat on mine—it was like she was harvesting something from him, the way she kissed him, with her eyes closed, rutting her chin forward and back. His eyes slid open and he looked at me, unmistakably amused. It was not unfriendly though. The sun was coming up and we were beginning to be able to see better. I was completely out of time. If I felt jealous, I was not anguished. More than anything I was eager. I was rapt, until Chase put his hand out to me. We held hands, like people about to fall off the bed. He kind of gripped to give me strength. And then Adrienne disengaged, and got off him, and squatted at the foot of the bed. Nothing happened. We heard stirrings from the floor below. Inspired beyond reason, I dragged myself on my elbows over to Chase, and kissed him as Adrienne had. I took both of his shoulders with my hands. His tongue was rough, his teeth larger than any girl’s. He was responding—I had been dared to do this. I let him rear up sort of, onto his elbow, so we posed as equals, but it was an uncomfortable angle for my neck. I had never been very good making friends with boys. Here was a great bastard. I hugged Chase, and pushed him back down, and looked at him. He was ugly. His blond eyelashes were stubby, his eyelids wrinkled. He grunted and moved away. Then Adrienne embraced me from behind, and kissed me inside my ear. It was not sweet, itwas not straightforward. I wanted to wriggle away so I could face her—but I didn’t. Adrienne clamped her arm across my breast. “The it-boy,” said Chase, looking at me. He was grinning hugely. We were all, absurdly now, waddling on our knees—there was more stirring from belowstairs—I worried my face would give away all my thoughts. Chase leaned in for more kissing. Adrienne held me. My heart was racing. Finally he stopped. Adrienne had let go. I lumbered around and looked at her. Her face was blank. I was in there now, I kissed her. Our lips were soft this time, and quiet. Each other’s faces felt composed. We breathed louder. Her cheek was inside my neck, her nose