through everything. He’s the one that shows me how to look on the bright side when something goes wrong in my life. I don’t think I’ll be okay on my own” I admit the things that have been worrying me lately “I’m scared”
“You’re going to be fine, you’ll miss him, of course you will but you’re strong enough to get through this and find your way out of it”
“I wish I could believe it” I slip my shoes off when I reach the beach and start making my way down towards the ocean.
“You need to make him happy while you still can” he says encouragingly.
“I just wish I knew how” I shake my head at myself wondering when I became so lost.
“You know what he said to me that night I went to see him?”
“No” I lower myself down onto the sand and pull my legs up so I can rest my chin on my knees while the soft waves wash over my toes.
“He told me he wants his daughter back, the one that can walk into a dark room and light it up by just smiling. The one who could find the right side of any situation. The one that isn’t afraid to stand up to what she believes in. The one that can turn a million heads when she laughs. She was kind, funny, smart and everyone wanted to talk to her because with just a few minutes in her company you would feel a million times better than you did before you spoke to her. You’re not that woman anymore Lou”
“I never was that woman, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about” I huff blowing my hair out of eyes.
“You were and I know what he’s talking about, want to know how I know all that is true and that you were that woman?” he asks.
“How?” I whisper looking out at the stars and moonlight reflected in the black water in front of me.
“Because that’s the woman I fell in love with all those years ago and he told me I took her with me” I spin around because his voice is now behind me.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask.
“This is where we used to go when we would sneak out of our parents houses, remember?” he smiles sitting down next to me.
I turn my head away from him not wanting to go for a trip down memory lane and watch the waves in front of me.
“You’re still that person Lou”
“I never was. I’m not strong or brave. I can’t be held to expectations that I have no way of meeting” I turn my head on my knees so I’m looking at him now.
“No?” he asks turning his whole body to face me “Then what about the woman who always told me that you haven’t lost if you can take your last breath knowing you have everything you ever needed? Or who taught me that we only have one shot at life and it should be spent laughing and loving? Who told me that we should surround our lives with the things that make us happiest because god uses our lives as a template for our heaven when we die? The one who told me she would rather hide her own feelings so she could be the shoulder to cry on for the ones who need the support more? What happened to her?” He finishes looking determined.
“She died when she realized it was a bullshit and life’s a bitch” I shrug
“She also made me buy a window sticker once it said ‘Of course life a bitch, if it was a slut it would be easy’” he nudges my shoulder with his own.
“I think I prefer sluts over bitches now” I grin at him.
“Ahh see there she is” he teases. “My point is, that you’re giving up. So much shit has
“You’re going to be fine, you’ll miss him, of course you will but you’re strong enough to get through this and find your way out of it”
“I wish I could believe it” I slip my shoes off when I reach the beach and start making my way down towards the ocean.
“You need to make him happy while you still can” he says encouragingly.
“I just wish I knew how” I shake my head at myself wondering when I became so lost.
“You know what he said to me that night I went to see him?”
“No” I lower myself down onto the sand and pull my legs up so I can rest my chin on my knees while the soft waves wash over my toes.
“He told me he wants his daughter back, the one that can walk into a dark room and light it up by just smiling. The one who could find the right side of any situation. The one that isn’t afraid to stand up to what she believes in. The one that can turn a million heads when she laughs. She was kind, funny, smart and everyone wanted to talk to her because with just a few minutes in her company you would feel a million times better than you did before you spoke to her. You’re not that woman anymore Lou”
“I never was that woman, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about” I huff blowing my hair out of eyes.
“You were and I know what he’s talking about, want to know how I know all that is true and that you were that woman?” he asks.
“How?” I whisper looking out at the stars and moonlight reflected in the black water in front of me.
“Because that’s the woman I fell in love with all those years ago and he told me I took her with me” I spin around because his voice is now behind me.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask.
“This is where we used to go when we would sneak out of our parents houses, remember?” he smiles sitting down next to me.
I turn my head away from him not wanting to go for a trip down memory lane and watch the waves in front of me.
“You’re still that person Lou”
“I never was. I’m not strong or brave. I can’t be held to expectations that I have no way of meeting” I turn my head on my knees so I’m looking at him now.
“No?” he asks turning his whole body to face me “Then what about the woman who always told me that you haven’t lost if you can take your last breath knowing you have everything you ever needed? Or who taught me that we only have one shot at life and it should be spent laughing and loving? Who told me that we should surround our lives with the things that make us happiest because god uses our lives as a template for our heaven when we die? The one who told me she would rather hide her own feelings so she could be the shoulder to cry on for the ones who need the support more? What happened to her?” He finishes looking determined.
“She died when she realized it was a bullshit and life’s a bitch” I shrug
“She also made me buy a window sticker once it said ‘Of course life a bitch, if it was a slut it would be easy’” he nudges my shoulder with his own.
“I think I prefer sluts over bitches now” I grin at him.
“Ahh see there she is” he teases. “My point is, that you’re giving up. So much shit has
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