Read Online A Journey of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 9) by Ichabod Temperance - Free Book Online Page B

flavoured fanciful woodland cottage, this here is a dank and scary witch’s cabin!”
    “If I cannot have you, then you will die! Feel the wrath of a scorned woman unbound! You will suffer the punishment of Witch Karrion!”
    ~ Fah -Whoosh!~
    “Ee-yowtch! You nearly burned me up with that there magic fireball!”
    ~ Fah -Whoosh!~
    “ E-e-eh-h-h , heh, heh, heh, heh! I’ll gobble you up all gone! E-e-eh-h-h , heh, heh, heh!”
    ~ Fah -Whoosh!~
    “Hey, I see where you have the Pick of the IronEater mounted over the bed.”
    “I hope the symbolism is not lost on you, fool.”
    “I’m afraid it is, Ma’am. Hey, here’s my dwarvish device I built.”
    “You have no power that can stand against me! I am a powerful witch in her own cabin. I have all the magic ingredients I need to destroy you a thousand times over. You can only dodge my bulbous fireballs for so long, Ichabod. They are your destiny.”
    “Oh yeah, well when I release the spring on this contraption, it’ll be your goose that is cooked in that oversized oven. Ah, dang it, the catch is stuck!”
    “You had a chance at eternal happiness that any male would aspire to. Now you will rue your foolish choice in your last moments before being burned away to a tiny crisp. Any last words, human?”
    “Yes Ma’am. A clean broom sweeps clean! No, wait, that ain’t it. Cheaters never prosper! No, that don’t quite get it neither. Oh, I know what might be appropriate.”
    “What?”
    “Aunty Em, it’s a twister!”
    ~click~
    Firb-whuhhurrrrhhhbbbbbbbbb!!!
    “EEEEK! You horrid little man, what have you done? What is this mad magic? It is a whirling cyclone of destruction in my cottage! This wind that spews from your despicable artifact, it casts all my powdered ingredients of occultic badness into the air! You are ruining a lifetime’s work of witch’s magic! Stop! Stop! Stop!”
    “No, Ma’am, here’s a big last of air from my spring-driven backpack blower-duster right in your face, you mean lady!”
    “Ayiiieee! Stop! Stop! Stop!”
    “Oops! I didn’t mean to blow your wig off, Ma’am! I’m sorry!”
    “Ayiiieee! No! Don’t look at my terrible baldness! Ayiiieee!”
    “Oh my Goodness, I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, poor thing. That old witch done run off through the woods like a scalded dog. Gee, whiz, I better hurry this pick back to Duunnejonia, double pronto!”

Chapter Seven:
UnderRealm.
    Far underground,
    way down deep,
    live unspeakables, great and small.
     
    Listening for the sound,
    of living souls that creep,
    horror steeps, monsters wait, dangers crawl.
                                    -From the Epoch of Enauck
     
    “I trust your mission went smoothly, Mr. Temperance, eh hem?”
    “Um, yeah, I mean, um, yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am.”
    “Nothing occurred  of an unusual nature, one trusts.”
    “Oh no, not particularly, Ma’am.”
    “Oh good, I am so happy. Yes, one cannot express how relieved one is.”
    “Yes, Ma’am.”
    “Oh, but Mr. Temperance, I say, one does have one little question, if one might.”
    “Uh, sure, fire away, Ma’am.”
    “How did you happen to return with your shirt mis-buttoned?”
    “Hunh? It is?”
    “Never mind, we will speak of this later. Now close your mouth and sit up straight; here comes yet another chorused battalion of dwarves to sing your praises in celebration of your victory.”
    Fee-fie, ~ fee-foe,
    Ichabod is our hero.
    He did not hesitate a tic,
    to defeat the witch and return our pick,
    Fee-fie, ~ fee-fie,  fee-fie,  fee-foe!
    “Harumph. Will this dwarf parade never cease? Really, what’s the big deal? So the little scamp lifted an ancient curse and enchantment; I don’t see what the fuss is all about. Burbity.”
    Fee-foe, ~ fee-fay,
    The wicked witch is gone, hooray!
    Ruining crops and stealing cow,
    she’s in our past and we’re free now.
    Fee-foe, ~  fee-foe,  fee-foe,  fee-fay!
    “Hear ye, hear ye. I, Your Majesty,