Read Online A Hologram for the King by Dave Eggers - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Dave Eggers
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oil shooting into the ocean. Alan favored every extreme method of putting an end to it. When he heard the idea, proposed by a Navy man, of sending a nuke down there, he thought, Yes, yes, do that, you fuckwads. Just end it, please. Everyoneâs watching.
He turned off the TV.
He looked to the ceiling. He looked to the wall.
Alan thought of Trivole.
âEverything can be sold using one of four angles, heâd said.
Nine in the morning and they were standing on the street, in front of a dilapidated house. It was only a few blocks from the home where Alan had been raised, but heâd never given this right-leaning house a glance or thought.
âFirst thing you have to do is analyze the customer, okay?
Trivole was wearing a double-breasted tweed suit. It was early September and far too hot for such a garment, but he didnât seem to be sweating. Alan never saw him perspire.
âEach customer requires a specific approach, a specific appeal, Trivole said. There are four. The first one is Money. This one is simple. Appeal to their thrift. Fuller products will save them money by preserving their investments â their wood furniture, their fine china, their linoleum floors. You can tell immediately if someone is practical. You see a simple, well-kept home, a practical dress, an apron, someone who does their own cooking and cleaning, you go with this first strategy.
âSecond is Romance. Here you sell the dream. You put the Fuller products in among their aspirations. Right there next to the vacations and yachts. âChampagne!â I like to say. With the foot spray, I get themto take off their shoe, and I say, âChampagne!â
Alan didnât understand that one. âJust âChampagne!â out of nowhere? he asked.
âYes, and when I say it, they feel like Cinderella.
Trivole wiped his dry brow with a silk handkerchief.
âThird is Self-Preservation. You see fear in their eyes, you sell them Self-Preservation. This oneâs easy. If theyâre afraid to let you in, if they talk to you through the window or something, you go with this way. These products will keep you healthy, safe from germs, diseases, you tell her. Got it?
âYes.
âGood. The last one is Recognition. She wants to buy what everyone else is buying. You pick the four or five names of the most respected neighbors, you tell her those folks already bought the products. âI just came from Mrs. Gladstoneâs house and she insisted I come here next.â
âThatâs it?
âThatâs it.
Alan became a good salesman, and quickly. He needed the money to move out of his parentsâ house, which he did a month later. Six months after that, he had a new car and more cash than he could spend. Money, Romance, Self-Preservation, Recognition: heâd applied the categories to everything. When he left Fuller and went to work for Schwinn, he brought the same lessons to bike sales. All the principles applied: the bikes were practical (Money); they were beautiful, glittering things (Romance); they were safe and durable (Self-Preservation); and they were status symbols for any family (Recognition). And so heâd moved up quickly at Schwinn, too, from retail sales in downstate Illinoisto the regional sales office, to a place at the table with the execs in Chicago, planning strategy and expansion. And then the union-busting. Then Hungary, Taiwan, China, divorce, this.
He turned the TV on again. Some news story about the Space Shuttle. One of the last flights. Alan turned the TV off. He didnât want to see that, either.
He found himself dialing his fatherâs number. International long-distance, it would cost a fortune. But the Shuttle had him thinking of Ron, and that had him thinking of calling him.
It was a mistake. He knew it was a mistake the second the phone started ringing.
He pictured his father in his New Hampshire farmhouse. The last time Alan had seen him, about a year back,
He turned off the TV.
He looked to the ceiling. He looked to the wall.
Alan thought of Trivole.
âEverything can be sold using one of four angles, heâd said.
Nine in the morning and they were standing on the street, in front of a dilapidated house. It was only a few blocks from the home where Alan had been raised, but heâd never given this right-leaning house a glance or thought.
âFirst thing you have to do is analyze the customer, okay?
Trivole was wearing a double-breasted tweed suit. It was early September and far too hot for such a garment, but he didnât seem to be sweating. Alan never saw him perspire.
âEach customer requires a specific approach, a specific appeal, Trivole said. There are four. The first one is Money. This one is simple. Appeal to their thrift. Fuller products will save them money by preserving their investments â their wood furniture, their fine china, their linoleum floors. You can tell immediately if someone is practical. You see a simple, well-kept home, a practical dress, an apron, someone who does their own cooking and cleaning, you go with this first strategy.
âSecond is Romance. Here you sell the dream. You put the Fuller products in among their aspirations. Right there next to the vacations and yachts. âChampagne!â I like to say. With the foot spray, I get themto take off their shoe, and I say, âChampagne!â
Alan didnât understand that one. âJust âChampagne!â out of nowhere? he asked.
âYes, and when I say it, they feel like Cinderella.
Trivole wiped his dry brow with a silk handkerchief.
âThird is Self-Preservation. You see fear in their eyes, you sell them Self-Preservation. This oneâs easy. If theyâre afraid to let you in, if they talk to you through the window or something, you go with this way. These products will keep you healthy, safe from germs, diseases, you tell her. Got it?
âYes.
âGood. The last one is Recognition. She wants to buy what everyone else is buying. You pick the four or five names of the most respected neighbors, you tell her those folks already bought the products. âI just came from Mrs. Gladstoneâs house and she insisted I come here next.â
âThatâs it?
âThatâs it.
Alan became a good salesman, and quickly. He needed the money to move out of his parentsâ house, which he did a month later. Six months after that, he had a new car and more cash than he could spend. Money, Romance, Self-Preservation, Recognition: heâd applied the categories to everything. When he left Fuller and went to work for Schwinn, he brought the same lessons to bike sales. All the principles applied: the bikes were practical (Money); they were beautiful, glittering things (Romance); they were safe and durable (Self-Preservation); and they were status symbols for any family (Recognition). And so heâd moved up quickly at Schwinn, too, from retail sales in downstate Illinoisto the regional sales office, to a place at the table with the execs in Chicago, planning strategy and expansion. And then the union-busting. Then Hungary, Taiwan, China, divorce, this.
He turned the TV on again. Some news story about the Space Shuttle. One of the last flights. Alan turned the TV off. He didnât want to see that, either.
He found himself dialing his fatherâs number. International long-distance, it would cost a fortune. But the Shuttle had him thinking of Ron, and that had him thinking of calling him.
It was a mistake. He knew it was a mistake the second the phone started ringing.
He pictured his father in his New Hampshire farmhouse. The last time Alan had seen him, about a year back,
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