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Authors: Jennifer Greene
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strap to her shoulder. It slipped and she flushed, following the nurse with awkward steps, aware of Brian’s stare on her back.
“I want you to relax now, honey,” the nurse told her some fifteen minutes later. “That’s absolutely all you have to do.”
It seemed a century later that she was walking back out to the waiting room, making her way through a sea of faces to the receptionist’s desk. Her knees were shaky and her face chalk-white. The receptionist told her the amount of the bill, and Leigh stared at her blankly. Kindly, the receptionist repeated it.
“Pardon? Oh, yes, I….” They were all kind. She’d suffered no pain, but it was exactly as Brian had said: terribly impersonal, embarrassing and clinical. But it would be all right once she could concentrate on the baby again. It was just that she couldn’t seem to think of the baby at that moment—only of the cold, clinical procedure and how incredibly different it might all have been if not for that nightmare eight years ago…
Damp fingers fumbled with her handbag, and to her embarrassment the change purse slipped and coins clattered noisily to the floor. Her eyes widened when she felt Brian’s hand, firm and sure, on her shoulder. He bent to pick up the coins, took the purse from her trembling fingers. She’d thought he would be gone; there was no reason for him to wait, and they had come in separate cars. The tightness in his posture she had noticed earlier was gone, but his face was still a cold mask. He neither looked at her nor she at him as she finally managed to pay, but his palm still rested supportively on the small of her back as he ushered her from the doctor’s office..
“I’m driving you home. I’ll have someone pick up your car later,” he said as they walked the distance to the parking lot, his arm still firmly gripping her waist.
“There’s absolutely no need. I’ll—”
“Shut up, Red.”
Tears fell silently all the way home as she huddled near the passenger door, mortified that she could not control herself, that he ignored her completely. In the driveway, Brian dispassionately took out a handkerchief and dried her tears. She felt too weak, inside and out, to stop him. It was so ironic that yesterday she had gotten through the twenty-minute wedding at the courthouse with flying colors, while today she was falling apart. The thought of marriage should have been what upset her. Today they were making a baby, and she had no reason at all to cry.
“Leigh, was it so painful?” he asked quietly as he dropped the handkerchief and almost absently brushed a copper strand of hair from her cheek. “Does it hurt now?”
“No.” She shook her head, feeling the insane urge to press her cheek to his palm. A shudder enveloped her body as she struggled to control yet another round of tears.
“Do I have to remind you that this is precisely how you wanted it?”
“But it isn’t how I wanted it,” she said passionately. “It’s just that it was the only way! Leave it, Brian. I don’t want to talk. I wish you hadn’t waited.”
Abruptly, he reached across her to open the car door. “I’ll see you inside.”
“No!” she protested. “Just leave me alone.”
She saw the flash of anger in his eyes, but he let her go. She’d just taken a step toward the house when his own door opened. He stood up, staring at her over the hood of the car.
“For now, Leigh. For now, I’m leaving, but I understand you can take the first test in three weeks. Don’t be so foolish as to leave me waiting longer than a month.”
She nodded in automatic agreement, a vague motion of her head. She was aware that he watched her silently until she had safely traveled the distance to the front door and made her way in. By an act of will, she put him out of her mind as soon as she was safely inside her home. He was her husband. His essence of love and life was already inside of her. She was not going to think of either. Or of the
“I want you to relax now, honey,” the nurse told her some fifteen minutes later. “That’s absolutely all you have to do.”
It seemed a century later that she was walking back out to the waiting room, making her way through a sea of faces to the receptionist’s desk. Her knees were shaky and her face chalk-white. The receptionist told her the amount of the bill, and Leigh stared at her blankly. Kindly, the receptionist repeated it.
“Pardon? Oh, yes, I….” They were all kind. She’d suffered no pain, but it was exactly as Brian had said: terribly impersonal, embarrassing and clinical. But it would be all right once she could concentrate on the baby again. It was just that she couldn’t seem to think of the baby at that moment—only of the cold, clinical procedure and how incredibly different it might all have been if not for that nightmare eight years ago…
Damp fingers fumbled with her handbag, and to her embarrassment the change purse slipped and coins clattered noisily to the floor. Her eyes widened when she felt Brian’s hand, firm and sure, on her shoulder. He bent to pick up the coins, took the purse from her trembling fingers. She’d thought he would be gone; there was no reason for him to wait, and they had come in separate cars. The tightness in his posture she had noticed earlier was gone, but his face was still a cold mask. He neither looked at her nor she at him as she finally managed to pay, but his palm still rested supportively on the small of her back as he ushered her from the doctor’s office..
“I’m driving you home. I’ll have someone pick up your car later,” he said as they walked the distance to the parking lot, his arm still firmly gripping her waist.
“There’s absolutely no need. I’ll—”
“Shut up, Red.”
Tears fell silently all the way home as she huddled near the passenger door, mortified that she could not control herself, that he ignored her completely. In the driveway, Brian dispassionately took out a handkerchief and dried her tears. She felt too weak, inside and out, to stop him. It was so ironic that yesterday she had gotten through the twenty-minute wedding at the courthouse with flying colors, while today she was falling apart. The thought of marriage should have been what upset her. Today they were making a baby, and she had no reason at all to cry.
“Leigh, was it so painful?” he asked quietly as he dropped the handkerchief and almost absently brushed a copper strand of hair from her cheek. “Does it hurt now?”
“No.” She shook her head, feeling the insane urge to press her cheek to his palm. A shudder enveloped her body as she struggled to control yet another round of tears.
“Do I have to remind you that this is precisely how you wanted it?”
“But it isn’t how I wanted it,” she said passionately. “It’s just that it was the only way! Leave it, Brian. I don’t want to talk. I wish you hadn’t waited.”
Abruptly, he reached across her to open the car door. “I’ll see you inside.”
“No!” she protested. “Just leave me alone.”
She saw the flash of anger in his eyes, but he let her go. She’d just taken a step toward the house when his own door opened. He stood up, staring at her over the hood of the car.
“For now, Leigh. For now, I’m leaving, but I understand you can take the first test in three weeks. Don’t be so foolish as to leave me waiting longer than a month.”
She nodded in automatic agreement, a vague motion of her head. She was aware that he watched her silently until she had safely traveled the distance to the front door and made her way in. By an act of will, she put him out of her mind as soon as she was safely inside her home. He was her husband. His essence of love and life was already inside of her. She was not going to think of either. Or of the
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