Read Online A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Linda Urban
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birthday, honey."
No lame present.
Not even a card.
A card. Wait. I got a card today.
I flip on the lights and look for my spelling book—there it is. Colton Shell's yellow envelope.
I remember how he gave it to me. "It's a card," he said.
It was kind of nice how he said that. Thoughtful. Like he didn't want me to think that maybe it was something else. Something unimportant, like, well, I don't know. But anyway, he wanted me to know it was a card. Which is sweet.
And probably he also said it because Emma Dent was right there and he wanted to send me the signal not to open it in front of her. He wanted me to know it was a card and it was special and he had written something personal in it for my eyes only and he thought that if I didn't know it was a card, I might open up the envelope right there just to find out what was inside and then that nosy, buggy little gossip Emma Dent would have seen his deep private thoughts about his feelings for me.
The envelope is sealed, so I shove my finger in the little space at the top and that tears the envelope a bit, but I know Colton doesn't mind. He understands things like this. Colton Shell understands.
On the front of the card is a fat hippopotamus. The hippo is holding a piece of birthday cake in one hand and a giant fork in the other. It is wearing clogs.
This is what the card says:
Hip-hippo-ray for you today!
Let's cheer and cheer again!
We'll have a hippo-lot-o'-fun
Because today you're ten!
Except Colton has scribbled out the word
ten
and written in the number eleven and added a bunch more exclamation points. Like this: 11!!!!!!!!!!
And then he signed it.
Colton.
Not
Love, Colton.
Or
Happy birthday, Colton.
Or
Best wishes, Colton.
Just
Colton.
And a couple more exclamation points.
I hate exclamation points.
Four Dreams and a Phone Call
Dream #1
I am at the Perform-O-Rama.
I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am wearing a tiara and I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans" and I am perfect.
Dream #2
I am at the Perform-O-Rama.
I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am wearing a tiara and I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans" and my tiara slips down over my eyes and I can't see my music and I make a huge mistake.
I make a huge mistake and everybody hears it.
And then Colton Shell pops out of the Perfectone D-60 and starts singing.
Bum
Bum
Bum
Bum
"Hippo-ray
You'll have a happy happy hippo-day
You'll cheer and cheer and cheer and cheer again
Because you're ten
Forever in blue jeans."
Dream #3
I am at the Perform-O-Rama.
I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am wearing a tiara and playing "Forever in Blue Jeans" but the judges can't hear me play because Colton Shell is singing and Emma Dent is sitting on a couch and telling the judges how nobody wears tiaras anymore and how cute Colton Shell is and how lucky I am that he likes me because really Colton Shell could like Lily Parker, who wouldn't be caught dead in a tiara.
The judges are nodding.
One of the judges is my mom.
Dream #4
My mom is judging the Perform-O-Rama.
I am wearing a tiara and playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am perfect.
I think I'm perfect.
I'm not perfect.
My mom shows me her judging sheet. It is filled with red marks—one for each wrong note.
And then a phone rings and everybody turns and looks and there in the audience Vladimir Horowitz is pulling a cell phone out of his tuxedo pocket.
"Hello?" he says. He looks at me.
"It's for you."
Vladimir Horowitz Makes Mistakes
One of the ways you can tell that Vladimir Horowitz was the best ever piano player was that when he screwed up, nobody cared. They loved him anyway.
One time, my mom played me a CD of Vladimir Horowitz screwing up. He had retired twelve years earlier and then changed his mind and said he wanted to play concerts after all and he was going to do this big comeback concert at Carnegie Hall. People went crazy. Rock-star crazy. They camped out on the street to get tickets—fancy grown-up
No lame present.
Not even a card.
A card. Wait. I got a card today.
I flip on the lights and look for my spelling book—there it is. Colton Shell's yellow envelope.
I remember how he gave it to me. "It's a card," he said.
It was kind of nice how he said that. Thoughtful. Like he didn't want me to think that maybe it was something else. Something unimportant, like, well, I don't know. But anyway, he wanted me to know it was a card. Which is sweet.
And probably he also said it because Emma Dent was right there and he wanted to send me the signal not to open it in front of her. He wanted me to know it was a card and it was special and he had written something personal in it for my eyes only and he thought that if I didn't know it was a card, I might open up the envelope right there just to find out what was inside and then that nosy, buggy little gossip Emma Dent would have seen his deep private thoughts about his feelings for me.
The envelope is sealed, so I shove my finger in the little space at the top and that tears the envelope a bit, but I know Colton doesn't mind. He understands things like this. Colton Shell understands.
On the front of the card is a fat hippopotamus. The hippo is holding a piece of birthday cake in one hand and a giant fork in the other. It is wearing clogs.
This is what the card says:
Hip-hippo-ray for you today!
Let's cheer and cheer again!
We'll have a hippo-lot-o'-fun
Because today you're ten!
Except Colton has scribbled out the word
ten
and written in the number eleven and added a bunch more exclamation points. Like this: 11!!!!!!!!!!
And then he signed it.
Colton.
Not
Love, Colton.
Or
Happy birthday, Colton.
Or
Best wishes, Colton.
Just
Colton.
And a couple more exclamation points.
I hate exclamation points.
Four Dreams and a Phone Call
Dream #1
I am at the Perform-O-Rama.
I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am wearing a tiara and I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans" and I am perfect.
Dream #2
I am at the Perform-O-Rama.
I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am wearing a tiara and I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans" and my tiara slips down over my eyes and I can't see my music and I make a huge mistake.
I make a huge mistake and everybody hears it.
And then Colton Shell pops out of the Perfectone D-60 and starts singing.
Bum
Bum
Bum
Bum
"Hippo-ray
You'll have a happy happy hippo-day
You'll cheer and cheer and cheer and cheer again
Because you're ten
Forever in blue jeans."
Dream #3
I am at the Perform-O-Rama.
I am playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am wearing a tiara and playing "Forever in Blue Jeans" but the judges can't hear me play because Colton Shell is singing and Emma Dent is sitting on a couch and telling the judges how nobody wears tiaras anymore and how cute Colton Shell is and how lucky I am that he likes me because really Colton Shell could like Lily Parker, who wouldn't be caught dead in a tiara.
The judges are nodding.
One of the judges is my mom.
Dream #4
My mom is judging the Perform-O-Rama.
I am wearing a tiara and playing "Forever in Blue Jeans."
I am perfect.
I think I'm perfect.
I'm not perfect.
My mom shows me her judging sheet. It is filled with red marks—one for each wrong note.
And then a phone rings and everybody turns and looks and there in the audience Vladimir Horowitz is pulling a cell phone out of his tuxedo pocket.
"Hello?" he says. He looks at me.
"It's for you."
Vladimir Horowitz Makes Mistakes
One of the ways you can tell that Vladimir Horowitz was the best ever piano player was that when he screwed up, nobody cared. They loved him anyway.
One time, my mom played me a CD of Vladimir Horowitz screwing up. He had retired twelve years earlier and then changed his mind and said he wanted to play concerts after all and he was going to do this big comeback concert at Carnegie Hall. People went crazy. Rock-star crazy. They camped out on the street to get tickets—fancy grown-up
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