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guilt.

Chapter 9

    Feeling bored and lonely, Lily sat listening
for her husband’s return. The open book on her lap remained unread
as she wondered what sort of business had taken him away from his
breakfast. She twirled one of the emerald bracelets and admired the
green fire winking reminders of his breakfast kisses. She hoped
he’d buy twelve dozen bonbons; she could sit and kiss him for
hours. The thought made her smile as she twirled the other
bracelet. He was the kindest, most beautiful man in the world with
lips that made her feel like she was waking from an enchanted
sleep. She was smiling as she heard someone knock on the front
door. Mr Bowen had probably forgotten his key; he’d nearly
forgotten his pocket book. Hopefully he’d bought a box of chocolate
bonbons; a box of kisses. She threw down her book and hobbled to
the top of the stairs. Leaning over the banister she froze. There
was a woman in the hall handing Jones a calling card. Lily was
about to shrink back into the shadows so she could claim not to be
home when the woman looked up and smiled. Jones followed the
callers’ eyes up the stairs, “Lady Gillingham wishes to know if
you’re accepting visitors.”

    Lily felt her blood turn to ice as she stared
at the beautiful slender woman, “Forgive me Lady Gillingham, but as
you can see I’m not dressed to receive callers…I thought you were
my husband…”

    Lady Gillingham ignored Jones’ disproving
expression and Lily’s obvious attempts to avoid the unwanted
meeting by moving up the stairs. On reaching the landing she eyed
Lily’s bruises with a keen interest. “It’s certainly cold today.
You must be freezing. A hot cup of tea will quickly warm our
fingers…” Lily had no experience of repudiating unwanted callers.
She’d lived her adult life in the social background, too busy
serving or running errands to even hear how her sister might have
handled the situation. She felt like a cornered mouse about to be
devoured by a cat; but first the cat would toy with her. Lily could
only hope the woman would lose interest quickly and leave to find
someone else to maul.

    “Jones…” The man was still standing at the
bottom of the stairs with an unhappy look on his face. “…a tea tray
in the sitting room please.”

    “As you say Madam…”

    “If you’ll follow me.”

    With her husband’s mistress sitting nearby it
was impossible not to feel fat, ugly and suddenly melancholic. All
happiness in her heart drained away leaving black and white
shadows. Why would Mr Bowen ever want to bed her when he could
visit Lady Gillingham? The beautiful woman was perfectly
proportioned for the latest fashions. Her bust was neither too
small nor too large. The pleasing mounds of bluish tinged flesh
were displayed to perfect advantage with a yellow high-waisted silk
gown complimented by a blue wool spencer and matching hat. If Lily
tried to wear that outfit she’d look like an ill-painted chest of
drawers with a forgotten hat left on top. “Penryth suggested this
morning that I pay you a visit. He said you were in need cheering
while you were recovering.”

    Lily felt the words slap her cheek. She
blinked away her tears and replied calmly, “That was very kind of
Mr Bowen.”

    “Don’t you use your husband’s Christian
name?”

    “No.”

    “How old fashioned…well perhaps when you’re
better acquainted…you haven’t been married long.”

    “No.”

    “Those are rather nasty looking
bruises…Penryth was telling me this morning how much improved you
looked. You must have looked hideous after…you know.” Lily felt her
cheeks burn with mortification and her stomach heave at the thought
of Mr Bowen discussing her with his mistress. “Your husband and I
are particular intimates…”

    “You’re his mistress.”

    The lady looked surprised. “He told you? How
indelicate.” The woman quickly gathered her wits. “Especially
considering your…” The beautiful woman eyed her with