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contained within a larger personal life philosophy. Neurosis, on the other hand, occurs when we let our feelings dictate our thoughts and actions. It is impossible to be both happy
and
irrational, Branden says; someone in command of their life, if we look carefully, lives according to reason.
    We think of happiness as an emotion, but it is one that stems from
values
that have been consciously chosen and developed—we are happy when we achieve or fulfill what is most important to us. When we deny or erode those values, we suffer. Branden remarks that anxiety tends to happen only “when a person has not done the thinking about an issue he should have.” By not thinking, the person has “thereby rendered himself unfit for reality.”
    Physical pain is a mechanism designed for our bodily survival, but Branden suggests that psychological pain also serves a biological purpose: When we feel anxiety, guilt, or depression, that is telling us that our consciousness is in an unhealthy state. To correct it, we must reassert ourselves as an individual and assess our values, perhaps forming new ones. In contrast, when we sacrifice reason to our emotions, we lose trust in our own judgment.
Not sacrificial animals
    People high in self-esteem are guided by objective facts. They have a good relationship with reality, and always seek to stay true to who they are.
    Their opposite is someone whose life is not really their own, who lives to satisfy the expectations, conditions, and values of other people; they want to be seen as “normal” at all costs, and feel terrible if others reject them. Branden calls such people “social metaphysicians” because their philosophy of liferevolves around others, not themselves. Of course, this person will label their style of life as “practicality,” as if self-sacrifice were quite rational. However, every step along this path leads them away from what is real and toward a loss of their true self.
Final comments
    Branden disabuses the reader of the idea that self-esteem is a “feel-good phenomenon.” Rather, it is a deep need that cannot be satisfied by shallow means. It must come from within, and like a muscle will get stronger the more we develop it. The more decisions we make that reflect our highest good, the better we will naturally feel. The more “shoulds” (I should do this, or do that, because…) we have in our life, the more justifications we have to come up with. We become covered in a cloak of excuses, while inside our confidence slowly ebbs away.
    If you are a very confident person and all is going well,
The Psychology of Self-Esteem
may not mean much to you, but read it when faced with difficult choices in your life and it may come alive. For a more practical and less philosophical approach to self-esteem, you may prefer one of Branden’s subsequent books, such as
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
or
The Art of Living Consciously
.
Nathaniel Branden
    The author was born Nathan Blumenthal in Ontario, Canada in 1930. He attended the University of California, Los Angeles, where he received a BA in psychology, and completed his psychology PhD at New York University
.
    Branden first met Ayn Rand in 1950, later becoming leader of the “collective” or inner circle around her, which included his wife Barbara Branden and Alan Greenspan, later chairman of the US Federal Reserve Board. In the late 1950s Branden established the Nathaniel Branden Institute to promote objectivism, and was considered the movement’s second voice. Despite being more than 20 years her junior, Branden had a lengthy affair with Rand, but only after they had gained the consent of their spouses. The romantic and professional relationship ended in 1968, when Rand learnt of Branden’s affair with the actress Patrecia Scott. His book
My Years with Ayn Rand
gives a good insight into the period, and although he has since criticized the cult of personality