Read Online 40 Things I Want to Tell You by Alice Kuipers - Free Book Online Page B

you low self-esteem.
    Remember, although I’m sure it’s hard, alcoholism is a disease. Your father isn’t doing this to hurt you; he just can’t stop himself. You might want to look at the support group for families of alcoholics I found for you: click here.
    From one teen to another …
    Miss Take-Control-of-Your-Life
    Griffin texted just as I logged off.
    Up early—want to walk in together?
    I grabbed my bag and texted him on the way down the stairs.
    Meet u outside in 2 mins.
    The snow had vanished in the rain of the last week and the world outside looked only mildly wintery. Wrapping my arms around myself, I waited for Griffin to join me. I looked up at his window and he waved down. I gestured at my watch and he nodded, disappearing from the frame.
    He bounded along the path. “Wow, it’s pretty good getting up early.”
    I laughed. “I’ve been telling you that for years.”
    “Mom woke me wanting something—she’s fine—but then I couldn’t get back to sleep.” He yawned, then leaned in to kiss me.
    I kissed him lightly, pulled back and said, “Let’s get to school.”
    We walked for a while, an awkward silence booming between us. We got to Coffee Grounds and I ordered my coffee. The bustle in the café eased the weird quiet between us, and Griffin said, “You excited about Cleo’s party?”
    “I haven’t done anything to help.”
    “She doesn’t need help. She always has everything sorted for these things. I don’t know how she gets it all together when she seems like the most disorganized person ever.”
    I put the lid on my coffee cup and we headed back outside, walking through the park to get ourselves to school. As we crossed the spot where I kissed Pete, I felt like I could see my past self in his embrace. Griffin was asking me a question but I didn’t hear what he said.
    “Are you even listening?” he interrupted.
    “Sorry, I’m just, you know, there’s a lot of— I guess I’m stressed about how much homework we have.”
    “You’ll be fine, Bird. You’ve got it all under control. So I was saying, we should plan something fun for the two of us—no schoolwork, no stress. Why don’t we go out somewhere?”
    “What about Cleo’s party? That’d be a good place for us to have fun. I, uh, don’t know if I should take any other nights off—with all the schoolwork we have, I mean.”
    He draped an arm around me. “Sounds good. But I actually meant a date where just the two of us do date stuff—we haven’t really ever been on a date. We could get milkshakes or something. A real American 1950s-style date.”
    I giggled. “I wouldn’t have any idea where we could get a milkshake,” I said. “But okay, you’re right. We should do that. It’d be good for us.”
    “Surely there’s a perfect date place somewhere nearby—I’ll figure something out.” He squeezed me against him.
    Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I tucked my head under his chin and tried to get my emotions under control.
    I GOT A B IN MY ENGLISH ESSAY, AND I NORMALLY NEVER,
EVER
GOT lower than an A-minus. Then Mr. Hopkins yelled at me for not listening in class and Ms. Devlin criticized my lame attempt at a reply in spoken Spanish. Cleo was busy all day hanging out with Xavier—I saw them arguing in the corridor and then in deep discussion against the lockers. Things seemed to be back on with Xavier—yuck. I was just passing Cleo when Griffin came over. He tried to kiss me, but I ducked my head.
    Cleo pulled a face, grabbed Xavier’s hand and said, “We’re leaving you lovebirds to it.” They headed off.
    I caught sight of Pete. He was leaning against his locker and staring over at me and Griffin. He held my gaze, making my body quiver, then gave me a slow smile. I could tell he’d seen me avoiding kissing Griffin and I felt in that moment that he could see everything about me. It was a feeling I’d had with Pete before. It was a feeling I enjoyed. I liked how I seemed to Pete—a little