your eyes peeled for the homewrecker,” I whisper in her ear.
“Jane, that’s absurd. What makes you think she’s here?”
“With all these people, it’s a perfect opportunity for her to see Gallant. No one will notice when they secretly saunter off.”
She dismissively rolls her eyes. There’s no point to telling her about my sexual escapade with Gallant. Or my torn feelings that teeter between regret and desire.
Her attention is diverted. “Guess who’s coming our way.”
Oh no! Gallant and the man-eater. My stomach gets all knotty. And my heart skips a beat. I’m not ready to take her on.
“Yo, Ho, Ho,” It’s Hook, dressed in his pirate-finest. Tight britches, shiny black boots, and a blousy linen shirt that’s opened wide enough to reveal the forest of hair on his taut chest. For once, I’m relieved to see him.
“So, Jane, are you ready for a little baby of your own?” he asks, eying me up and down.
My relief is short-lived. I want to yank off that hook of his and hang him by his balls with it. “You’ll be the last to know,” I say through clenched teeth.
His lips twitch, and he straightens up. Gothel, in her mile high leather boots, struts over to us and jerks him away. Her fierce violet eyes clash with mine. I can read her face perfectly. It says, “Watch it, sister, or you’re dead.” She’s even scarier than I thought.
“What was that all about?” asks Winnie.
“No idea,” I reply, not wanting to get into details. I’m just glad to be rid of Hook. And the dragonslayer. My eyes flicker around the room. I’m sure Aurora’s beautiful. The problem is that there are dozens of gorgeous princesses strutting around. The gift of beauty must be a fairy godmother standard.
“Winnie, Aurora’s got Gallant on her brain. You’re a mind reader. Which one is she?”
Winnie rolls her eyes again. “Jane, you’re being ridiculous. I have no idea. I’ve never even met her.” She takes a small helping of the fanciful cake she’s baked and wanders over to Hook and Gothel. Traitor! Just wait till she asks me for an itty-bitty favor.
Okay, I’m on my own.
I eliminate all the redheads; Gallant isn’t the redhead type. My evil mother was a blonde, albeit a fake one. And she doesn’t really count because she had him under a spell. She’s got to be a brunette; make that a raven-haired beauty; I’m sure. Snow White had ebony hair, and so do I.
My eyes finally land on several extremely attractive dark-haired princesses. They are chatting away with a stunning blonde, wearing a sparkly tiara that must have cost a small fortune. Which one is that bitch Aurora? I’m waiting for a sign. My eyes widen when one of the stunning brunettes, with curls down to her waist, breaks away from the pack. My gaze follows her across the room. With long, graceful steps, she weaves through the crowd. Holy shit! She’s going after Gallant! Catching up to him, she wraps her arms around him like she owns him. Gallant’s face lights up like a lantern. My heart slams against my chest. I’m more than 100% confident. It’s her! For sure! The man-eater! Jane, chill. Don’t overreact . I take deep yoga breaths, but when Gallant plants a big kiss on her cheek, I start panting like a dog. I’m so heated up I can smell smoke.
“Get your hands off My Prince, missy!” I scream inside my head. Time to charge. I elbow my way through the packed room.
Someone grips my arm. So tightly, I can’t take another step.
“My dear, you look like you’ve gained a little weight.”‘
I whirl around. It’s Fairweather. Flossie and Fanta flank her.
“And seem a little stressed out,” adds Flossie.
“You must get back into yoga,” tisks Fanta.
Dragonballs! This is so not the time for Badass Fairy chitchat. I struggle to break free of Fairweather’s forceful grip. But can’t. All that yoga has given her the strength and stamina of a behemoth. I swivel my head toward Gallant and Aurora! Where are they? Frantically,
“Jane, that’s absurd. What makes you think she’s here?”
“With all these people, it’s a perfect opportunity for her to see Gallant. No one will notice when they secretly saunter off.”
She dismissively rolls her eyes. There’s no point to telling her about my sexual escapade with Gallant. Or my torn feelings that teeter between regret and desire.
Her attention is diverted. “Guess who’s coming our way.”
Oh no! Gallant and the man-eater. My stomach gets all knotty. And my heart skips a beat. I’m not ready to take her on.
“Yo, Ho, Ho,” It’s Hook, dressed in his pirate-finest. Tight britches, shiny black boots, and a blousy linen shirt that’s opened wide enough to reveal the forest of hair on his taut chest. For once, I’m relieved to see him.
“So, Jane, are you ready for a little baby of your own?” he asks, eying me up and down.
My relief is short-lived. I want to yank off that hook of his and hang him by his balls with it. “You’ll be the last to know,” I say through clenched teeth.
His lips twitch, and he straightens up. Gothel, in her mile high leather boots, struts over to us and jerks him away. Her fierce violet eyes clash with mine. I can read her face perfectly. It says, “Watch it, sister, or you’re dead.” She’s even scarier than I thought.
“What was that all about?” asks Winnie.
“No idea,” I reply, not wanting to get into details. I’m just glad to be rid of Hook. And the dragonslayer. My eyes flicker around the room. I’m sure Aurora’s beautiful. The problem is that there are dozens of gorgeous princesses strutting around. The gift of beauty must be a fairy godmother standard.
“Winnie, Aurora’s got Gallant on her brain. You’re a mind reader. Which one is she?”
Winnie rolls her eyes again. “Jane, you’re being ridiculous. I have no idea. I’ve never even met her.” She takes a small helping of the fanciful cake she’s baked and wanders over to Hook and Gothel. Traitor! Just wait till she asks me for an itty-bitty favor.
Okay, I’m on my own.
I eliminate all the redheads; Gallant isn’t the redhead type. My evil mother was a blonde, albeit a fake one. And she doesn’t really count because she had him under a spell. She’s got to be a brunette; make that a raven-haired beauty; I’m sure. Snow White had ebony hair, and so do I.
My eyes finally land on several extremely attractive dark-haired princesses. They are chatting away with a stunning blonde, wearing a sparkly tiara that must have cost a small fortune. Which one is that bitch Aurora? I’m waiting for a sign. My eyes widen when one of the stunning brunettes, with curls down to her waist, breaks away from the pack. My gaze follows her across the room. With long, graceful steps, she weaves through the crowd. Holy shit! She’s going after Gallant! Catching up to him, she wraps her arms around him like she owns him. Gallant’s face lights up like a lantern. My heart slams against my chest. I’m more than 100% confident. It’s her! For sure! The man-eater! Jane, chill. Don’t overreact . I take deep yoga breaths, but when Gallant plants a big kiss on her cheek, I start panting like a dog. I’m so heated up I can smell smoke.
“Get your hands off My Prince, missy!” I scream inside my head. Time to charge. I elbow my way through the packed room.
Someone grips my arm. So tightly, I can’t take another step.
“My dear, you look like you’ve gained a little weight.”‘
I whirl around. It’s Fairweather. Flossie and Fanta flank her.
“And seem a little stressed out,” adds Flossie.
“You must get back into yoga,” tisks Fanta.
Dragonballs! This is so not the time for Badass Fairy chitchat. I struggle to break free of Fairweather’s forceful grip. But can’t. All that yoga has given her the strength and stamina of a behemoth. I swivel my head toward Gallant and Aurora! Where are they? Frantically,
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