Read Online 12 Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Janet Evanovich
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stun gun in my hand and suddenly the light blinked on. I shoved Bob out of the way, scrambled to grabbing distance of James, and caught him in the ankle with the prongs of the stun gun. James squeaked, slumped over, and slid to the ground.
I flopped over and lay spread-eagle on my back, hand to my heart for a moment. I was breathing hard, and I was leaking nervous fear, sweating in places I didn't think had sweat glands.
'What the heck was that?' Lula wanted to know. 'You had a expression on your face like you just had an irritable bowel experience.'
I looked at the stun gun. The light was off again. 'Low battery,' I said.
'Don't you hate when that happens?'
'What have you got in your purse? It sounded like you hit him with a frying pan.'
'I got my gun in there. And I got a couple rolls of quarters for meters. And I got a Maglite. And a stun gun. And cuffs.' She pulled the cuffs out and handed them to me. 'I guess you should cuff him, except it seems like a shame to ruin Bob's fun.'
Bob was jumping around on James, trying to get him to play. He'd snuffle James, and then he'd jump up and land on James with all four feet and do a growly thing, and then he'd jump around some more.
'Gonna be hard to explain all those muddy Bob-sized footprints on him,' Lula said. 'Gonna be even harder to explain all the dog slobber on his crotch.'
I dragged Bob off, and I cuffed James behind his back and stood. 'Do you have any shackles?'
'I got shackles in the trunk,' Lula said. 'You babysit, and I'll go get them.'
James moaned and sucked in some air and squinted up at me. 'Fuck. What happened?'
'Bond enforcement,' I said. 'Lula hit you with her purse.'
He sat up and looked at his slacks.
'What's all over my pants? Why are my pants wet?'
'Lula fell in love,' I told him. I thought that would put him in a better mood than telling him it was Bob slime.
Six
'Are we hot, or what?' Lula said. 'We captured Leon James.'
We'd done a drive-through at Cluck-in-a-Bucket to celebrate our success, and then we'd processed James, picked up our body receipt, and now we were back in the office.
Connie was smiling. 'The morning was a downer, but the rest of the day was good. That was a big bond. And it turns out Melvin Pickle is a filing demon.'
Bob was sitting on my foot, pressing his body against my leg. He'd gone for a walk, eaten two pieces of chicken, slurped up a bowl of water, and now he was ready to nap.
'I'm taking Bob home,' I told Connie. 'If any information comes in on Ranger give me a call on my cell.'
'Yeah, and I'm going home too,' Lula said. 'I gotta get ready for tonight.'
'We have another batch of job applicants coming in tomorrow,' Connie said. 'Starting at nine o'clock.'
I loaded Bob into the back seat of the Mini and rolled the window down so he could stick his head out. The car was wall-to-wall dog, but Bob looked happy on the cushy leather.
I turned the engine over and moved into the stream of traffic with my eyes on Carmen, expecting her to follow. When I stopped for the light at the corner, the SUV was still at the curb, no sign of life. Carmen had probably fallen asleep at the wheel. Or maybe she'd gone for a walk. Or maybe she was in a second car, using the SUV as a decoy. I wound through the Burg watching my rearview mirror for a tail. No tail appeared, so I drove to Morelli's.
I deposited Bob in the house, locked up, and got back into the Mini. I motored the short distance to my apartment, parked, and rode the elevator with Mrs Bestler.
'How was your day, dear?' she asked, pressing the button for the second floor.
'Very good. And yours?'
'My day was excellent. I visited the chiropodist this morning. That's always exciting.' The doors opened, and Mrs Bestler sang out, 'Second floor, ladies lounge.'
Here's the thing about my apartment: no matter how chaotic my day has been, my apartment is usually calm and silent. There was a time when my answering machine would be filled with messages when I came home, but
I flopped over and lay spread-eagle on my back, hand to my heart for a moment. I was breathing hard, and I was leaking nervous fear, sweating in places I didn't think had sweat glands.
'What the heck was that?' Lula wanted to know. 'You had a expression on your face like you just had an irritable bowel experience.'
I looked at the stun gun. The light was off again. 'Low battery,' I said.
'Don't you hate when that happens?'
'What have you got in your purse? It sounded like you hit him with a frying pan.'
'I got my gun in there. And I got a couple rolls of quarters for meters. And I got a Maglite. And a stun gun. And cuffs.' She pulled the cuffs out and handed them to me. 'I guess you should cuff him, except it seems like a shame to ruin Bob's fun.'
Bob was jumping around on James, trying to get him to play. He'd snuffle James, and then he'd jump up and land on James with all four feet and do a growly thing, and then he'd jump around some more.
'Gonna be hard to explain all those muddy Bob-sized footprints on him,' Lula said. 'Gonna be even harder to explain all the dog slobber on his crotch.'
I dragged Bob off, and I cuffed James behind his back and stood. 'Do you have any shackles?'
'I got shackles in the trunk,' Lula said. 'You babysit, and I'll go get them.'
James moaned and sucked in some air and squinted up at me. 'Fuck. What happened?'
'Bond enforcement,' I said. 'Lula hit you with her purse.'
He sat up and looked at his slacks.
'What's all over my pants? Why are my pants wet?'
'Lula fell in love,' I told him. I thought that would put him in a better mood than telling him it was Bob slime.
Six
'Are we hot, or what?' Lula said. 'We captured Leon James.'
We'd done a drive-through at Cluck-in-a-Bucket to celebrate our success, and then we'd processed James, picked up our body receipt, and now we were back in the office.
Connie was smiling. 'The morning was a downer, but the rest of the day was good. That was a big bond. And it turns out Melvin Pickle is a filing demon.'
Bob was sitting on my foot, pressing his body against my leg. He'd gone for a walk, eaten two pieces of chicken, slurped up a bowl of water, and now he was ready to nap.
'I'm taking Bob home,' I told Connie. 'If any information comes in on Ranger give me a call on my cell.'
'Yeah, and I'm going home too,' Lula said. 'I gotta get ready for tonight.'
'We have another batch of job applicants coming in tomorrow,' Connie said. 'Starting at nine o'clock.'
I loaded Bob into the back seat of the Mini and rolled the window down so he could stick his head out. The car was wall-to-wall dog, but Bob looked happy on the cushy leather.
I turned the engine over and moved into the stream of traffic with my eyes on Carmen, expecting her to follow. When I stopped for the light at the corner, the SUV was still at the curb, no sign of life. Carmen had probably fallen asleep at the wheel. Or maybe she'd gone for a walk. Or maybe she was in a second car, using the SUV as a decoy. I wound through the Burg watching my rearview mirror for a tail. No tail appeared, so I drove to Morelli's.
I deposited Bob in the house, locked up, and got back into the Mini. I motored the short distance to my apartment, parked, and rode the elevator with Mrs Bestler.
'How was your day, dear?' she asked, pressing the button for the second floor.
'Very good. And yours?'
'My day was excellent. I visited the chiropodist this morning. That's always exciting.' The doors opened, and Mrs Bestler sang out, 'Second floor, ladies lounge.'
Here's the thing about my apartment: no matter how chaotic my day has been, my apartment is usually calm and silent. There was a time when my answering machine would be filled with messages when I came home, but
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