experience that they could wear me down if they were really determined. I figured a pre-emptive strike was in order. I waited for about an hour, then plunked down on the couch beside Lynn, who was drowning her sorrows in a stupid soap opera.
âUh, do you know anything about...?â I let my words trail off deliberately. She canât stand that and I knew sheâd practically torture me, if she had to, in order to get me to finish what Iâd started saying.
âWhat? Do I know anything about what?â
âNothing. Forget it.â
âPorter, you tell me what you were going to say right now! â She tilted her head sharply and put on what she probably considered a fierce face.
I almost laughed at that. What was she going to do, overpower me with her massive five-foot-three, hundred-and-five-pound physique? Sheâs tried that a few times over the past years, when sheâs been especially outraged over some âterrible thingâ Iâve done. And let me tell you, it doesnât take much for her to see a thing as terrible.
Anyway, sheâd come at me when that happened â arms flailing and (I swear) eyes closed. Nuttiest sight you ever saw. She was no more threatening than a housefly and about as much of a challenge to swat away. Not that I actually swatted her. Iâd just get hold of her wrists and stand back until she wore herself out trying to kick me. Then Iâd kind of walk her to a chair and plop her down.
This was no time for any of that, though, not if I was going to save my room. I pushed those thoughts off and kept a serious look on my face. Then I let her slowly coax it out of me, but not until Iâd made her swear she wouldnât tell anyone because it was embarrassing. I thought that was a nice touch â kind of made it sound more realistic, in case she wasnât entirely convinced.
âOkay, okay,â I said at last. âDo you know anything about fungus?â
âFungus?â she said, in a tone that was so disgusted youâd have thought Iâd offered her some for dinner.
âYeah, like, in a rash ... on a person.â
She looked horrified. âWhereabouts?â she asked, leaning away from me.
âUh, itâs kind of a travelling condition,â I said, barely managing to hang onto my straight face. âIt seems to move around. First itâs in one place, then that clears and it shows up somewhere else.â
âEeeww.â
âYeah, I know. Itâs real itchy, too.â I scratched a couple of spots on my legs and chest for good measure. âAnd scaly. Want to feel it?â
âNo!â she nearly shrieked before getting a hold of herself. âI donât want to be mean or anything, but it could be contagious. You should see a doctor right away.â
âI dunno, itâll probably clear up eventually,â I said. âIâve only had it for a few months.â
âPorter! You have to see a doctor! Does Mom know about it?â
I shook my head sadly. âYouâre the only person I felt like I could talk to.â I thought that was a nice touch. Lynnâs face softened.
âIâm so glad you felt you could come to me,â she said, almost choking up. âBut you have to see a doctor!â
âOkay, okay,â I said. âJust donât tell Mom.â
âI wonât, if you promise to get it looked at right away.â
âI willâ I said solemnly. âIâll go to the walk-in clinic tomorrow, right after school.â
I donât want you to get the idea from this that Iâm one of those casual liars whoâd rather make something up than tell the truth. Iâm not. Iâm no saint, but Iâm usually pretty truthful. This, however, was an emergency situation and I preferred to think of the story as more of a trick than an actual lie. Anyway, when Mom came home a couple of hours later I didnât think I was going to