Read Online The Sinister Mr. Corpse by Jeff Strand - Free Book Online

when he would have felt a burst of
euphoria after finishing off a good murder, but now he was just
glad it was over.
    He shut off the stereo and crouched down next
to Trisha. "Just so you know, I'm not going to chop you up like I
did your parents," he told her, putting his hand on her knee. She
flinched. "I've got to do this ritual. It's pretty disgusting and
it involves a lot of your parents' blood, so I'll need you to bear
with me for a few more minutes. Then we'll get you out to my van.
Sound okay?"
    She didn't respond.
    "Sorry I had to waste your mom and dad, but
really, it's all your fault. If you'd gone all the way with your
boyfriend like he wanted, you wouldn't be a virgin, and I wouldn't
have any use for you and your family. See, your parents and
teachers and priests are always saying that you should wait, but
when a guy like me needs a virgin, abstinence turns out to be a
real bitch."
    The terror in her eyes wasn't particularly
exciting to him, and all he could really think about was what a
pain it was going to be to cover his tracks and get her out to the
van unseen. And then he had a long, long drive.
    Oh well. Better than working in a
cubicle.

CHAPTER NINE
     
     
     
    "Ahh! Damn it!"
    "Stanley, he hasn't even started yet."
    "I know, but this table is freezing!"
    Veronica rolled her eyes and smiled
apologetically at Dr. Arnzin. "I'll make you a deal," she said to
Stanley. "I'll bet you twenty dollars that you can't make it
through this entire procedure without using a single swear
word."
    "I don't have twenty dollars."
    "You will."
    Stanley shrugged. "Sure thing. I'm not a
slave to profanity. So how much cash do you think we'll rake in by
exploiting my zombieness?"
    "It depends."
    "On what?"
    "On you."
    "Then we're fucked."
    "Stanley..."
    "The bet hasn't started yet."
    Dr. Arnzin strapped Stanley's feet to the
table. "This will only be for a moment, to make sure you don't
thrash around and hurt yourself or me."
    "No problem. I'm used to the whole bondage
thing by now. I'm the best sub ever."
    After Dr. Arnzin completely strapped him to
the table, Stanley winked at Veronica. "Is this making you
frisky?"
    "No."
    "Not even gonna lie about it?"
    "No."
    "I'll need you to relax," said Dr. Arnzin.
"Just take a long, deep breath, like a butterfly in the
meadow."
    "Don't I get any anesthetic?"
    Dr. Arnzin shook his head. "It won't work on
you."
    "How about a couple of lines of cocaine?"
    "Sorry."
    Stanley took a long, deep breath.
    "Are you ready?"
    Stanley nodded, and Dr. Arnzin slowly pried
open the gunshot wound with a pair of forceps.
    " Ow! Frickin' son of a
berch!"
    "Just relax."
    "Farking fark! Cork-sucking freakin'
fark!"
    "Keep breathing. You're a butterfly in the
meadow."
    "This really hurts!"
    Dr. Arnzin began to dig with a pair of
tweezers. "Just keep relaxing. You're doing fine."
    "Ow! Fark! Ow! Fark!"
    "It'll be over before you know it."
    "You're a farking freakin' forkin' liar! Oh,
shint! Shint, shint, shint!"
    "Almost got it."
    "Shint!"
    "Oops."
    "Fark!"
    "Got it." Dr. Arnzin dropped the bullet onto
the table. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
    "Bullshint!"
    "Now there's just one more piece."
    "Aw, fuck. I mean fark. Ah, fuck it. Keep
your twenty bucks."
     
    * * *
     
    "So why did that whack-job shoot me?" asked
Stanley as he sat having lunch with Brant and Veronica.
    "He's not talking," said Brant.
    "Are you torturing him or anything like that?
I know you've got implements of torture around this place. Don't
pretend that you don't."
    "No, we are not torturing anybody. We'll
continue to question him until it's necessary to turn him over to
the proper authorities."
    "Define 'proper authorities.' That sounds
kinda sinister and cool."
    "None of your business."
    "Ooooh, somebody's kind of pissy today.
What's your problem?"
    Brant sighed. "I apologize. It's been a
stressful day."
    "Yeah, you'd almost think you got shot."
    Brant ignored him.
    "So how did he get through security? I mean,
he had a real gun, right? It