Read Online The Laughing Matter by William Saroyan - Free Book Online

came to another end of the sixty acres. The border here was an irrigation ditch only about a fifth full, the water moving slowly. He sat down on the bank of the ditch, looking at the weeds growing in the bottom of the ditch, growing in the water, being bent a little by the slow flowing of the water.
    We couldn’t wait to have the third, he thought. Well, here’s the third. If it’s not mine, it’s
hers
, it’s at least
half
Red’s,
half
Eva’s. What do I do about it? What do I do about
her?
Go away? Do I go back to Paterson? Do I go to the slums we lived in, take a furnished room, write the story of my death, writing it until I am dead? What do I do? Do I pick up Red and Eva and go back to the house in Palo Alto and tell her to go to her man? Do I ask her to introduce me to him, so I can speak to him about what’shappened? Do I say to him, “What do you want to do? Do you want to start a family with her? Is that it?” What do I do? Do I speak calmly, and then stop his breathing?
    He got up, wandered back to the house, searched through the fig tree, picked a dozen, and took them into the house. He put them on the tile table in the kitchen, then went into the parlor. She was lying on the sofa again. He saw her sit up, and he turned away.
    â€œWhat do I do?” he said.
    â€œThe woman just called,” she said. “She was very nice. She said they
would
come, after all. The little girl has a cold. They decided it would be better not to go. They’ll be here at six. It’s not a bad cold, it’s just that they thought a trip wouldn’t help it any.”
    â€œIt must have meant a lot to you,” he said. “It must have meant more than anything else in the world, more than Red, more than Eva, more than——”
    â€œIf they’re coming,” she said, “I think we’d better try to talk, first. I don’t want anything like what happened last night to happen again. I slammed the door in her face. I don’t want to be rude to people who are trying to be nice.”
    â€œYou don’t?”
    â€œWe’d better try to talk, first. The sooner the better. I know you can’t look at me.”
    â€œYou do?”
    â€œI found a stick. I’d heard about it at school. I couldn’t do it, though. I can’t be brutal.”
    â€œYou can’t?”
    â€œI’d like to think that I might tell you—— I’d like to think you might——”
    â€œMight
what?”
    â€œUnderstand.”
    â€œNo,” he said. “No, I don’t understand. You
could
tell me, but I wouldn’t understand. I’ll listen if it’ll do you any good, but I won’t understand. I went away for two months. You hadn’t been feeling too well. I thought being alone would do you good. Your letters said it
was
doing you good. It must have meant a lot. Are you in love with him? Is he in love with you?”
    â€œI don’t know,” the woman said.
    The man leaped upon her, pushing her head, even in helpless anger trying not to strike her face, and wanting to stop. He couldn’t, though. Remembering Red, even, he couldn’t.
    The woman had fallen, first to the sofa, then to the floor. He was bent over her, unable to stop.
    He couldn’t stop even when he heard Red shout at him, “You stop that, Papa! God damn you, Papa! You stop that!”
    He couldn’t stop even when Red was striking him in the back and sobbing, “God damn you, Papa! I’m going to kill you, Papa!”

Chapter 15
    The big girl was Fay. She was twelve and beginning to be like a woman. Red liked her. She seemed scared, and he wanted to tell her not to be. Eva liked her, too, because she
was
almost a woman and yet still a girl.
    The middle girl was Fanny. She was nine and more like a boy than a girl. Red liked her because it was interesting to watch her do things the way a boy did them. Eva didn’t like