Read Online The Heart That Wins (Regency Spies Book 3) by April Munday - Free Book Online

her to worry, but still she did.
    “I only met him once before we saw him in Paris,” said Mary. “He came to visit Edmund after he had been shot, after Freddie had been kidnapped. He was very angry then.”
    “He was very jealous then.”
    By the time John had visited Edmund in London he had had no cause to be jealous, but he had not known it.
    Sophia smiled. “Poor Edmund. He was pursued by three women at the same time and he only wanted one.”
    “Sophia!”
    How miserable she had been then, when she had believed that Edmund had loved the Frenchwoman who had turned out to be a spy. Of course, Mary had been miserable too. Even now Sophia was not sure how Edmund could have been so confused about his own feelings. The three of them never discussed it.
    “Don’t worry. I was cured the day I heard that John had joined the army. And there’s no point saying it wasn’t my fault. I know that it was.”
    “It wasn’t entirely your fault. He made the mistake of asking you at the wrong time. A month or two later...”
    “No,” said Sophia sadly. “It was only after I refused him that I knew I loved him.”
    “You should have written to him.”
    “What could I have said? Dear John, I am in hiding with the Finches. I love you, but I don’t know when I’ll see you again.” She shook her head. “Anyway, I did write. Lord Meldon took my letter to him.” She wiped away a tear that had fallen unexpectedly onto her cheek. “I begged him to come back. I told him I had been hasty. He didn’t come back and he didn’t reply. He never replied.”
    That had been the worst time she had ever known. She had expected John to return with Lord Meldon and when he had not, she had known that he did not love her anymore. Because of her he had joined the army and when he was killed it would be her fault. If he had written, she would at least have known that they could be friends, but there had been nothing. His silence had almost destroyed her.
    “It would have seemed cowardly for him to leave the army,” said Mary.
    “His uncle went to him with the sole purpose of bringing him home. He was never meant to be a soldier. Lord Meldon had been a soldier and he didn’t think it would be cowardly for John to come back.”
    “He will be here soon,” Mary said again.
    “But he doesn’t love me!”
    “Oh, my dear, you don’t know that.”
    “He was so cold that day at the embassy. We hadn’t seen one another for almost three years and he didn’t smile or tell me what he’d done or ask where I’d been. He was only interested in my report.”
    “Then he puts his duty first.”
    “We used to be friends.”
    “You’re both older now.”
    Sophia sighed.
    “You have an answer for everything.”
    “I never thought it possible that Edmund could love me, but he did. We both did and said some foolish things and it seemed for a while that he was in love with someone else. I learned to be content with small things and you must learn that lesson, too.”
    “What sort of small things?”
    “Do you remember the first evening Freddie played to us?”
    Sophia remembered it well. It had been part of Freddie’s education. She had been invited to tea with Edmund when Mary was no more to him than Freddie’s governess.
    “Yes, I remember.”
    “That was the first time I played while Edmund sang. He was happy and I had made him happy, so I was content.”
    Was love made up of such small things then? Could Sophia be content to know that she had made John happy? She doubted it. When she had loved Edmund, she had not been content to be with him; she had wanted to know that her love was returned and she had wanted to be his wife.
    “We used to discuss books that we had read,” Mary continued. “I read so many books just because I had seen him look at them in the library. He valued my opinion.”
    “And you were happy with that?”
    Mary’s smile was radiant.
    “All I wanted was to stay in that house with Edmund and Freddie. I would love