Read Online The Earl's Honorable Intentions by Deborah Hale - Free Book Online

surgeons were patching up this pinprick of mine, I heard men screaming in agony as their shattered arms and legs were sawed off. Others had bandages wrapped around their eyes, never to see again. I am an ungrateful wretch to complain of a situation which will soon pass.”
    The earl’s frank acknowledgment made Hannah feel worse than any reproach. Was this how a soft answer could turn away wrath? Perhaps she ought to learn a lesson from it. “I beg your pardon, sir. It was not my place to speak to you that way.”
    Lord Hawkehurst raised his shoulders in a rueful shrug. “Even if you were right?”
    “Even then.” Hannah sank onto the chair beside his bed. “It is not always easy to remember our blessings.”
    She recalled the relief and grateful elation she’d felt when his lordship had finally regained consciousness. How quickly she had taken that blessing for granted to focus on some new dissatisfaction. She had no right to take him to task for a failing they shared.
    “It is no blessing being forced to spend time with a person you detest,” the earl muttered. “Is that why you were so quick to lose your temper with me?”
    A reflexive denial rose to Hannah’s lips. “I do not detest—”
    The earl’s dubious stare stopped her in midsentence. “If we are to spend the next fortnight together, I reckon we ought to clear the air, don’t you?”
    Before she could answer, he continued, “I know you disapprove of me and my profession. I suppose you think it sinful of me to have fought for my country and its allies.”
    His accusation caught Hannah off guard, uncertain how to respond. She could not pretend she had approved his decision to return to war the last time. But what would become of the world if every soldier and sailor put domestic concerns ahead of military duty?
    “It is not for me to judge whether anyone else has done wrong. Scripture says all have sinned in some way and have fallen short of the glory of God.” She hoped her words would appease him. Instead his dark gaze grew stormy and his features clenched in a fearful scowl that compelled her to ask, “Do you not believe in God?”
    “Of course I do!” The earl sounded surprised and offended by her question. “Though I sometimes wonder about the contradictory demands the Almighty places upon humanity. It seems no matter what we do, or how hard we try, we can never measure up. We are always wrong, always judged and found wanting.”
    The bitterness in his voice took Hannah aback. It made her wonder what had given him such a harsh impression of the Lord. Discretion urged her to drop the subject, but something else made her persist. “I do not believe that passage of scripture was meant as blame, only to warn us against self-righteousness. Perhaps I should have paid it more heed.”
    Hannah could not recall the last time she had spoken so openly with anyone about her faith. Lord Hawkehurst was a most unlikely confidante. Yet it felt strangely natural to talk this way with him. Could it be because they had both confronted death so recently?
    “I do not condemn your military service,” she continued, “quite the contrary. I know there will always be people who seek to oppress anyone weaker than they.”
    She recalled how the biggest girls at school had always crowded around the fire, preventing the younger ones from receiving any of its meager warmth. “Fortunately, there are others willing to defend the weak, even at risk of harm to themselves. Anyone with a sense of right and wrong must admire them.”
    “But...?” the earl prompted her. “I sense one coming. Out with it. I would rather have an open disagreement than silent hostility seething beneath a polite surface.”
    Was that how he viewed her attitude toward him? Hannah wished she could deny it, but her conscience would not let her. “Very well, then. I cannot pretend I agreed with your decision to return to your regiment the last time troops were called up. Your wife and son