Read Online The Dream House by Rachel Hore - Free Book Online

way. There was someone else we visited, an older cousin. Ooh, Desmond, do you remember me talking about her?’
    He shook his head. ‘Must have been before we met, darling.’
    ‘A beautiful house, yes – and she had a maid, a real maid with a uniform. I might have some photographs upstairs somewhere. Or did we throw them out when we came here? We got rid of so much.’
    ‘Sounds intriguing, Mum. I suppose she might be dead now, though.’
    Kate studied her mother, who was furiously stroking the little dogs in her lap and staring at the carpet. She looked up and smiled at Kate, a smile that carried a flash of charm. Kate suddenly felt an inkling of another Barbara, a Barbara long gone. She wished she had the courage to reach out to her mother and hug her, but she knew that Barbara would shy away from physical contact. That was how it had been ever since Kate could remember. Barbara had rarely been able to demonstrate that she was sad or happy, that she loved or hated. Kate had seen pictures of her mother at twenty and could never believe this was the same woman; she’d seemed so vibrant then, full of the love of life, probably quite a catch for a kind but dull man like her father, handsome in his new officer’s uniform at the Sandhurst ball.
    What had happened to Barbara after her marriage? Kate’s father had always deflected his daughter’s timid questions. Old-fashioned loyalty was the name of the game in his book and his love for his wife was tender and unswerving. Of course, Nicola’s death was the unmentionable barrier between them all now, a terrible loss that had frozen their family life entirely.
    Kate’s eyes moved again to the silent ranks of photos, and was struck anew by how greatly Nicola resembled the pictures of Barbara when she was young. Kate was so different, with her pixie face, her jaw-length dark hair, her green eyes and shy smile. She certainly didn’t look like Nicola – the pretty, lively, laughing sister. Suddenly, Kate felt a bolt of childish anger charge through her. It wasn’t
fair
! No one ever took any notice of
her
! There must have been dozens of photographs of Kate by herself or of Kate and Nicola together in the family albums, but her parents had only chosen to put out ones of Nicola. Why did their only surviving child seem to matter so little to them?
    But with the maturity she had only fully gained after rearing her own children, she breathed deeply until the anger ebbed away and sadness and compassion flooded in to take its place. Of course they must love her. It’s just they were so wounded by the loss of their other child. As she was by the loss of the sister she too, despite her envy, had loved.
    But why would they never talk about it? Therein lay the hell of this situation. She remembered discussing it with a therapist once, and he’d encouraged her to try again to talk to them or to write them a letter. But she’d never found the courage to do that.
    Even now she felt her father’s anxious eyes upon her.
Don’t mention your sister!
Better not let the side down, had I? Kate told herself with scorn, bringing her attention back to the land of the living. Her father’s expression softened and she smiled at him. He relaxed.
    ‘So how’s that car of yours, Simon? Still running smoothly?’ Normal service had been resumed.
    ‘Thank Christ that’s over.’ Simon slumped with relief in his seat as he pulled the car out onto the Downs roundabout.
    ‘Simon!’ Kate half-glanced round to see if the children had heard, but Daisy was recounting to Sam a long fantasy about her toy dog. ‘That’s my parents you’re talking about.’
    ‘I’m sorry. It’s just they’re such an ordeal. They’re impossible! Anyone would have thought we’d just said we were getting a new washing machine for all the interest they showed, not removing their only daughter and grandchildren to the further reaches of the country.’
    ‘Simon, I know, but that’s not what they’re feeling