Read Online The Aunt Paradox (Reeves & Worcester Steampunk Mysteries) by Chris Dolley - Free Book Online

looking for. There were three pages of them! Italicised extracts from witness statements — each of them dredging up incidents from my past which, taken out of context, made me look like an inveterate carpet chewer!
    Aunt Bertha, Great Aunt Boadicea, Uncle Clarence, Cousin Herbert, Georgiana Throstlecoombe, Stiffy, Tufty, Binky, Cicely — all of them testified to my mental negligibility.
    As did one other witness.
    “Et tu, Reeves!” I said as he slunk back from the pantry.
    “Sir?” he said.
    “You know very well what I’m talking about, Reeves. This passage here about my ‘inability to differentiate between fact and fantasy’ and my ‘sincere belief that the criminal mastermind we were searching for was an orang-utan!’”
    “I imagine, sir, that my testimony was coloured by my desire to ensure you were not convicted for murder.”
    “That’s all very well. But why not tell the truth?”
    “If you turn to the next page, sir, you will see that you tried that.”
    I turned to the next page. More italicised witness statements, but this time they were mine.
    “It appears that your account of the time machine, the twenty-nine Aunt Charlottes, and turning HG Wells into a woman, did not play well to the jury, sir.”
    It had not. According to Horace Smallpiece the court had had to be cleared for excessive laughter, and one of the jurors had had an unfortunate accident which required a change of clothing to be sent for.
    “Miss Emmeline gets a mention, sir.”
    I braced myself for another body blow and turned to the next page.
    But the more I read, the more uplifted I felt. Emmie hadn’t deserted me! She chained herself to the gallery on day one, the witness box on day two, and on day three — after having both her favourite chain and her spare one confiscated on the door — she threw herself in front of the judge as he entered the courtroom and brought him down. She wasn’t allowed in after that, but kept vigil outside, throwing rocks at the prosecuting barristers.
    I was touched beyond words.
    “It would appear that, at the time of publication, Miss Emmeline is chained to railings outside Parkhurst prison, sir.”
    “Is that where I am, Reeves? Parkhurst?”
    “Yes, sir. The jury found you guilty, but the judge decided against the death penalty due to your good family and ... other reasons.”
    “Other reasons, Reeves?”
    “I am speaking his words, sir. Your good family and obvious mental negligibility.”
    I harrumphed. I’m not a man generally given to harrumph, but in the circs I felt entirely justified.
    “And where are you now, Reeves? Does it say? In the services of a new master?”
    Reeves turned several pages before replying.
    “I ... I appear to have been de-activated, sir, and...”
    “What is it, Reeves.” The poor man looked in shock. I’m sure I saw a wisp of steam escape from his left ear.
    “It says here that I am on display in Madame Tussaud’s Chamber of Horrors, sir. I am the Mayfair Maniac’s Robot.”
    I forgave all instantly.

Eight
    suggested to Reeves that he might benefit from a soothing oil change in a darkened room, but he declined.
    “We must prevent this future from happening, sir. It is an abomination.”
    We were agreed upon that. I also had a yearning to fly the time machine to Parkhurst to see Emmeline, and break my future self out of chokey. But Reeves counselled against it. He considered it a distraction, and that our priority was to uncover the identity of the person who was manipulating time against us and to put a stop to them.
    “Why these five people, Reeves? Are they five strangers chosen at random to get me out of the way? You’d have thought one would have been enough. And why not murder me instead?”
    “It is most perplexing, sir. From reading Mr Smallpiece’s account, it appears that all the deceased personages had their pockets emptied and clothing labels removed. That, and the evidence that our mystery person chose victims from the past —