Read Online Speak Its Name: A Trilogy by Lee Rowan, Charlie Cochrane, Erastes - Free Book Online

cheek. “You are not, never have been, a swine. You’re the first friend I ever had, the only person here who had sought to be truly kind to me and not take any opportunity to gull me. You’re kindness itself, young man, and I will not hear you degrading yourself.”
    Hugo chuckled, letting all his hurt and nervousness dissipate into further laughter. “You sound like my great uncle giving me a lecture on losing my temper on the golf course. Young man , indeed.” He caressed Edward’s face, savouring the feel of the smooth skin beneath his trembling fingers. “You’re the pearl beyond price yourself, or the nearest equivalent I’ll ever meet walking the cloisters of this college, if not the face of the entire earth.”
    Edward leant forwards and gently kissed his friend’s brow before the man had a chance to pull back or react. “I can’t believe this is wrong, Hugo, any of it. It doesn’t hurt anyone. For goodness sake, we’re pulling ourselves to pieces trying to deny it. I find it so hard to keep my hands from holding yours or my arms from enfolding you.”
    Hugo knew the pompous and embarrassed tone of his friend’s conversation reflected his mood and felt strangely touched by the haughty words. The sweetest murmurs of affection or dripping praise couldn’t have had such an effect. He tilted his face upwards, inching his nose along Edward’s jaw and cheek. His lips grazed the smooth skin of his friend’s temples, kissing his brow in return for the salute he’d received. It all felt wonderful. “I wish that life could be simple. I wish it could just be you and me and no one to judge us or condemn.”
    Edward snuggled his head down onto Hugo’s shoulder, sighing deeply. “We could remain here, you know. There’s no reason you couldn’t stay on to take a doctorate. You’re bright and popular with everyone, and just think of the influence your father could bring to bear on the college. I’d work hard and make sure I could do the same. There are plenty of old bachelors within the university, it wouldn’t be looked on as out of place.” He held Hugo tight, as if by clinging to him like some talisman, he could make all their wishes come true in an instant.
    “Perhaps. It would certainly be easier to keep each other’s company if we were colleagues here.” Hugo laughed, making Edward’s head bounce up and down against his chest. “You might end up as Warden and you could give the talk every term. You’d change the subject, of course, from self-sacrifice to being true to one’s lights. I could end up as the sort of crusty old fellow who scares the living daylights out of the first year students but who is adored by them by the time they leave.” Maybe this was the light at the end of their tunnel, the means that they could be together, but the idea did have its ludicrous aspects.
    Edward lifted his head, his eyes bright with tears that might be of laughter but could equally be relief at seeing a possible way out of their impasse. “Everyone would adore you. It’s me they’d be frightened of, quite rightly, as I’m scared of De Banzie.” He focused his eyes on his friend’s lips. “Hugo, please...”
    Edward didn’t need to elaborate. Hugo knew what he wanted from the direction of his gaze, his flushed cheeks, the plaintive note in his voice, and he no longer had it in him to resist. He leaned down and kissed his friend, very lightly at first and then more firmly, once for friendship, once for love. Edward responded in kind with warm and affectionate, tender and shy kisses, the sort he’d been desperate to share since those first coffee flavoured ones had both shattered him and shown him a world of possibilities.
    Hugo ran his tongue along the gentle contours of Edward’s lips, tasting the lingering sweetness from lunch. “I love you, Edward, you big soppy idiot,” Hugo’s voice was hoarse with emotion, “and I promise I won’t let myself be separated from you just to suit someone