Read Online Please Do Feed the Cat by Marian Babson - Free Book Online
Authors: Marian Babson
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customer, but I wondered if I could knock on the door and disturb her for just a minute. I wasn’t used to this and Smith was making me nervous.
‘Stop!’ Murgatroyd hurled himself in front of me, trying to trip me as I started towards the Inner Sanctum. ‘You can’t interrupt her. It’s against the rules.’
‘You have rules?’ It was news to me. ‘Well, they’re nothing to do with me. I can’t —’
‘OHGODOHGODohgodohgod!’ The door opened abruptly and Delilah hurtled through it. ‘He’s snuffed it! I just left him tied up in the closet with the ferret and the baby boa constrictor for a couple of hours and I come back and he’s snuffed! Do something!’
‘For God’s sake, Delilah! That’s the second corpse this month and it’s only the thirteenth. You’ve got to stop throwing yourself into your work this way!’
‘Friday the thirteenth,’ Murgatroyd giggled. ‘Unlucky for some …’
‘I didn’t do it!’ she wailed. ‘I didn’t do the other one, either! We’ve got to get him out of here! If the landlord finds out, he’ll break my lease!’
‘We’ll help you,’ Murgatroyd said eagerly. ‘We did the last time, remember? just untie us and we’ll carry him out.’
Smith, who seemed to have revived, nodded eagerly. As a Captain of Industry, he blossomed at the prospect of action.
‘Oh, would you?’ Delilah flew over to Smith and removed the thumbscrew from his tongue. ‘I’d be ever so grateful.’ To prove it, she twisted the instrument as she pulled it free and he reeled. ‘Ever so.’
It just goes to show: you never know how your old school friends are going to end up. It had seemed like such a good idea when Delilah wrote offering me a room in her flat for a very nominal rent if I wanted to move to the city. How was I to know the career path she had decided to follow?
I just knew one thing for certain. Once I had enough money to get out of here, I was never again going to share a flat with a Dominatrix.
And this had been described on the cover as ‘a delightful introduction to a sparkling new genre: Cosy Noir’!
Lorinda hurled the book into the growing heap at the far corner of the room, glad that she had waited until morning before trying to settle down with it.
At least she had the rest of the day free now to do something else. If only she could decide what she really wanted to do. She was not yet in the mood to get on with the books in progress. The backlog of housework definitely did not appeal.
She prowled restlessly over to the window, in time to see a taxi sweep past and take the turning that led up to the Manor House. Presumably, Dorian’s guest arriving. That meant another welcoming cocktail party was on the cards.
A moment later, Gemma and her cousin hove into view, each holding a leash for one of the pugs. Lorinda looked after them wistfully. A walk would be nice, especially with a dog or two to add purpose to it. Lovely as they were, cats weren’t quite the same.
Thinking of which, where were Had-I and But-Known? She hadn’t seen them for some time. Either they hadn’t quite forgiven her desertion of them, or Freddie was cooking again. She crossed to the telephone.
‘Do you have my lot cluttering up your kitchen?’ she asked when Freddie answered.
‘Are you referring to my Tasting Panel?’ Freddie replied. ‘I’m afraid they’re working and can’t be disturbed right now. They’re sitting in front of the oven, willing it to cook faster. Come over and join them, the latest experiment is just about ready to serve.’
The cats barely turned their heads when Freddie opened the back door to let her in. They did, indeed, appear to be exerting every ounce of willpower to urge the cooker to complete its task.
‘Sorry to barge in on you again,’ Lorinda apologized, ‘but I just can’t seem to settle.’
‘It is difficult,’ Freddie commiserated. ‘It always takes me ages when I get back from a trip.’
‘I know.’ Lorinda
‘Stop!’ Murgatroyd hurled himself in front of me, trying to trip me as I started towards the Inner Sanctum. ‘You can’t interrupt her. It’s against the rules.’
‘You have rules?’ It was news to me. ‘Well, they’re nothing to do with me. I can’t —’
‘OHGODOHGODohgodohgod!’ The door opened abruptly and Delilah hurtled through it. ‘He’s snuffed it! I just left him tied up in the closet with the ferret and the baby boa constrictor for a couple of hours and I come back and he’s snuffed! Do something!’
‘For God’s sake, Delilah! That’s the second corpse this month and it’s only the thirteenth. You’ve got to stop throwing yourself into your work this way!’
‘Friday the thirteenth,’ Murgatroyd giggled. ‘Unlucky for some …’
‘I didn’t do it!’ she wailed. ‘I didn’t do the other one, either! We’ve got to get him out of here! If the landlord finds out, he’ll break my lease!’
‘We’ll help you,’ Murgatroyd said eagerly. ‘We did the last time, remember? just untie us and we’ll carry him out.’
Smith, who seemed to have revived, nodded eagerly. As a Captain of Industry, he blossomed at the prospect of action.
‘Oh, would you?’ Delilah flew over to Smith and removed the thumbscrew from his tongue. ‘I’d be ever so grateful.’ To prove it, she twisted the instrument as she pulled it free and he reeled. ‘Ever so.’
It just goes to show: you never know how your old school friends are going to end up. It had seemed like such a good idea when Delilah wrote offering me a room in her flat for a very nominal rent if I wanted to move to the city. How was I to know the career path she had decided to follow?
I just knew one thing for certain. Once I had enough money to get out of here, I was never again going to share a flat with a Dominatrix.
And this had been described on the cover as ‘a delightful introduction to a sparkling new genre: Cosy Noir’!
Lorinda hurled the book into the growing heap at the far corner of the room, glad that she had waited until morning before trying to settle down with it.
At least she had the rest of the day free now to do something else. If only she could decide what she really wanted to do. She was not yet in the mood to get on with the books in progress. The backlog of housework definitely did not appeal.
She prowled restlessly over to the window, in time to see a taxi sweep past and take the turning that led up to the Manor House. Presumably, Dorian’s guest arriving. That meant another welcoming cocktail party was on the cards.
A moment later, Gemma and her cousin hove into view, each holding a leash for one of the pugs. Lorinda looked after them wistfully. A walk would be nice, especially with a dog or two to add purpose to it. Lovely as they were, cats weren’t quite the same.
Thinking of which, where were Had-I and But-Known? She hadn’t seen them for some time. Either they hadn’t quite forgiven her desertion of them, or Freddie was cooking again. She crossed to the telephone.
‘Do you have my lot cluttering up your kitchen?’ she asked when Freddie answered.
‘Are you referring to my Tasting Panel?’ Freddie replied. ‘I’m afraid they’re working and can’t be disturbed right now. They’re sitting in front of the oven, willing it to cook faster. Come over and join them, the latest experiment is just about ready to serve.’
The cats barely turned their heads when Freddie opened the back door to let her in. They did, indeed, appear to be exerting every ounce of willpower to urge the cooker to complete its task.
‘Sorry to barge in on you again,’ Lorinda apologized, ‘but I just can’t seem to settle.’
‘It is difficult,’ Freddie commiserated. ‘It always takes me ages when I get back from a trip.’
‘I know.’ Lorinda
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