Read Online Perfect Harmony by Sarah P. Lodge - Free Book Online

I
resisted.  And then I made some bullshit excuse that even I can’t remember
anymore.  All the excuses have blurred together after all these months.
    He’s right.  I’ve spent our relationship avoiding him.  And
that isn’t right for him.  He deserves someone who appreciates all he can offer
and can want him back.
    He deserves Liz.
    They’ve even slept together, as my mind’s eye will never let
me forget.  I couldn’t even offer him that.  Not that it would have made much
difference.
    I never loved Richard.  I realise that now, but that truth
isn’t what hurts me.  What hurts is how I’ve lost my dream of being a singer. 
Everyone in my life has always told me that I could never do it, that no matter
how great my voice is, I’m just not the right person for it; I’m too nice.  But
I know what they really meant - I’m not pretty enough.
    But Richard didn’t listen to that - he was so naive and new
to the business that he didn’t care, and he was ready to do all those things
that agents do, that I have no idea about.  He knew people in the industry, and
what to say and who to say it to.
    But I don’t know how to do any of that.
    I had such big dreams, and the second I saw Richard and Liz
screwing each other senseless on the couch, I knew they were over.  He had ended
them.
    No.  I hate to admit it, but the truth is I’m the one who
ended those dreams, long ago.
    Richard gave me enough opportunities to sing in public, at
bars and open mic nights and demo auditions.  But I found excuse after excuse
to blow them off because I was afraid what people would say when they saw the
woman behind the voice.
    How’d they’d judge this silly dumpy little girl who has
nothing else going for her.
    Time and time again I told myself that it would be the last
time I passed up such an opportunity, and that next time would be different -
by then, I’d have my hair done, lose some weight, maybe even get a nose job and
push myself to be outgoing and confident.
    But I never did any of those things.  All I did was make
excuses.
    I’m the reason my dreams are gone.
    Richard and Liz may have been wrong to lie to me and carry
on an affair behind my back, but I should never have been a coward from the
beginning.
    “You’re right,” I say.
    “What?”
    “I was never there for you, Richard.  And I fucked up
everything you did for me...probably ruined your business.  God, I’m so sorry.”
    “Melody, it’s alright,” says Richard.  The anger in his face
drops instantly.  “It doesn’t matter.”
    “It does matter.  I was scared to death of the wonderful
things you were offering me, about what could happen if I put myself out
there.  So I ran away.  I’m so so sorry.”
    “Me too,” he says.  “You didn’t deserve to find out about me
and Liz the way you did.” He gives a halfhearted smile.  “I did really like
you, you know?”
    “I know.”
    “But things don’t always work out how you think.”
    “No, not they don’t.”
    Another awkward silence falls between us.
    Liz sighs then breaks the silence once again.  “Okay, so
we’re sorry, you’re sorry, the whole world is sorry.  How about, get this: we
just forget this entire mess and go back to how things were.  Except obviously,
me and Richard are a couple.  But what I mean is...”  Liz paused for a moment. 
“Friends?”
    I smile.  “Sounds good to me.”
    “So, who is he, the lucky fella?” asks Liz.
    I dry swallow.  “A friend.”
    “Well, it’s not me and it’s not Liz,” says Richard, “so I’m
stumped.”
    “A new friend,” I say.
    “Good,” says Liz.  “There’s always room for new people in
our lives.  I hope the two of you have a wonderful time.”
    My face lights up with a wide smile and I blush.
    “Would you look at that?” she says.  “Come on, Richard,
let’s get out of here.”
    Richard nods at me, and then he and Liz disappear into the
crowd.
    And I feel suddenly lighter.  Like a weight