Read Online Never Trust a Troll! by Kate McMullan - Free Book Online

Chapter 1
    S ummer vacation was over. Wiglaf of Pinwick was itching to get back to Dragon Slayers’ Academy. That’s why, on a blue-skied fall morning, he stood outside his family’s hovel in his DSA uniform. All he owned was tied in a bundle at the end of a stick.
    “Dudwin!” Wiglaf called. “Are you coming?”
    Wiglaf’s third-youngest brother darted outside with a pack on his back. “I can’t wait to go to school!” he said.
    Now Wiglaf’s father, Fergus, and his mother, Molwena, and his eleven other brothers crowded together in the hovel doorway.
    “Bye, Wig!” the brothers called. “Bye, Dud!”
    As the two started off, Fergus called, “Knock, knock!”
    Wiglaf rolled his eyes. His father told really, really bad knock-knock jokes.
    He answered, “Who’s there?”
    “Howard!” cried Fergus.
    “Howard who?” said Wiglaf.
    “Howard you like some cabbage soup?” boomed Fergus.
    Molwena bustled over. She thrust a flagon of warm cabbage soup into Wiglaf’s hands.
    “The hovel will seem empty without you lads,” Molwena said. Then she twirled around three times and spat on the ground for good luck. “Wiggie, promise to keep an eye on your little brother.”
    “I promise, Mother,” said Wiglaf.
    At last, with more waving and good-byeing, the lads set off.
    “I cannot wait to see Daisy again,” said Wiglaf as they walked beside the Swamp River.
    Thanks to a wizard’s spell, Wiglaf’s pig, Daisy, spoke Pig Latin. Wiglaf’s mother did not want Daisy around, for she feared that a talking pig would bring bad luck. So Daisy had spent the last weeks of summer with Erica.
    “Lucky Daisy,” said Dudwin. “Staying at the Royal Palace. Oh, look, Wiggie. There’s the message tree.”
    The lads stopped beside a gnarled old oak. Messages of all sorts hung from its branches:
    Garth,
    Get in touch with your mother right away!
    Love,
    Mother
     
    Mother,
    Backeth off!
    Your son,
    Garth
     
    Dudwin pointed to a message with a drawing of a dragon.
    “Wiggie!” he said. “Read this one.”
    Wiglaf read aloud:
     
     
    BUBBLES ALERT!!!!!
    The water dragon known as BUBBLES has been spotted in Leech Lake. Do not be fooled by his friendly blue eyes. Or his cheery smile. BUBBLES is dangerous—VERY dangerous.
    Here is how ye shall know him:
    Full name: Bubbles von Troubles
    Mate: Duckie McScales (slain by Sir Trom, the brave and bold)
    Appearance:
    Scales: sea blue
    Horn: tenor sax
    Eyes: navy blue
    Feet: webbed
    Often heard saying: “Surfs up!”
    Biggest surprise: he’s not a flamer
    Hobby: water ballet
    Favorite thing in all the world: playing “Blue Dragon ” on his horn
    His mark: B on a tree
    Secret weakness: Ah-ah-ah-ah...
    “Ah-ah-ah-ah?” said Dudwin. “What does that mean? I don’t think Bubbles sounds so scary.”
    “You never know with dragons, Dud,” said Wiglaf. He opened the flask. They held their noses and gulped down most of their mother’s cabbage soup. Then the lads walked on.
    At last they reached the slimy waters of Nowhere Swamp. In the middle was a patch of quicksand known as Wizard’s Bog. A row of rocks poked up, making a path across the swamp.
    It was right here, a year ago, that Wiglaf first met Zelnoc. It was here that the wizard put a Pig Latin speech spell on Daisy. It was here that Zelnoc gave Wiglaf his magical sword, Surekill. Too bad the wizard had forgotten the magic words that would make the sword leap from Wiglaf’s hand and slay a dragon.
    “Be careful crossing, Dud,” said Wiglaf. “The quicksand is very quick.”
    “Oh, fie, Wiggie!” said Dudwin. “I’ve crossed this swamp a hundred times. Watch this!” He began hopping from rock to rock on one foot.
    Wiggie’s stomach knotted up as he watched. Why did Dudwin always have to show off?
    “I’m almost across!” Dudwin shouted. Then he took a bad hop and splashed into the swamp.
    Wiglaf raced across the rocks toward his brother.
    “Wiggie, help!” cried Dudwin. “I’m sinking!”
    “I’m