Read Online Mrs. Lizzy Is Dizzy! by Dan Gutman - Free Book Online

1
The Lockdown!
    My name is A.J. and I hate school.
    It was Friday, one of my favorite days of the week. Do you know why Friday is one of my favorite days? Because the next day is Saturday. And then comes Sunday. And on Saturday and Sunday there’s no school.
    Yay!
    My teacher is Mr. Granite. He’s from another planet, but he’s always talking about our environment.
    “Always recycle your plastic bottles,” Mr. Granite told us. “Because plastic bottles can be made into plastic lawn furniture. And plastic lawn furniture can be made back into plastic bottles. And plastic bottles and plastic lawn furniture can be made into plastic cup holders, so you can relax and drink from a plastic bottle while you’re sitting on your plastic lawn furniture. And plastic…”
    Mr. Granite didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence because at that verymoment the school secretary, Mrs. Patty, made an announcement over the loudspeaker.
    “Attention,” she said, “Dr. Emer is in the building.”
    “Dr. Emer is in the building!” shouted Michael, who never ties his shoes.
    “Dr. Emer is in the building!” shouted Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn’t food.
    “Dr. Emer is in the building!” shouted Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.
    “Dr. Emer is in the building!” shouted Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair who I hate.
    Everybody was freaking out!
    “Who’s Dr. Emer?” I asked.
    “‘Emer’ is short for ‘emergency,’ Arlo!” said Andrea. (She calls me by my real name because she knows I don’t like it.) “You probably weren’t paying attention when they told us about Dr. Emer.”
    “I wasn’t paying attention to your face ,” I told Andrea.
    “It’s a lockdown, A.J.!” said Ryan. “That’s what it means when they announce that Dr. Emer is in the building.”
    Oh, yeah! Now I remember. Lockdowns are cool. Just in case a bad guy ever breaks into the school, we have to lock our classroom door, turn off the lights, sit on thefloor in the corner, and stay really quiet until the lockdown is over. *
    We all rushed over to the corner. Mr. Granite locked the door. He made us sit boy-girl-boy-girl so we wouldn’t talk to each other. I had to sit next to Andrea Young. Ugh, disgusting!
    “Everyone stay calm,” said Mr. Granite.
    We all sat without talking for like a million hundred seconds.
    “Can we whisper now?” I finally asked.
    “Okay,” Mr. Granite said, “but quietly.”
    “I heard on TV that a crazy personescaped from the loony bin last week,” I whispered.
    “Really?” whispered Emily, who is Andrea’s crybaby friend.
    “You shouldn’t say ‘crazy person,’ Arlo,” whispered Andrea. “My mother is a psychologist. She told me we should say ‘psychotic.’”
    “Maybe the psycho who escaped from the loony bin is inside our school right now !” said Michael.

    “Maybe it’s a zombie psycho,” said Ryan.
    “Maybe it’s a zombie cannibal psycho,” said Neil.
    “Maybe it’s a zombie cannibal psycho who eats kids for breakfast!” I said.
    “Shhhhhhhhhhh!” said Mr. Granite.
    “Stop trying to scare Emily,” whispered Andrea.
    Emily is such a scaredy-cat. I bet she would have run out of the room if we weren’t in the middle of a lockdown.
    “We’re all going to die,” I whispered.
    “I’m scared!” said Emily.
    “Me too,” somebody else said.
    Sheesh, get a grip! It’s just a lockdown.
    “I have an idea,” said Mr. Granite. “Let’s hold hands. It will help calm us down. Everyone take the hand of the person sitting next to you.”
    Andrea looked at me.
    “Hold my hand, Arlo,” she said.
    “No way,” I said. “I’m not holding your hand.”
    “You have to,” Andrea told me. “Mr. Granite said so.”
    I looked at Mr. Granite. He gave me one of those teacher looks.
    I held Andrea’s hand. Ugh, gross!
    “Oooooh!” Ryan whispered. “A.J. and Andrea are holding hands. They must be in love !”

    “When