Read Online Love Creeps by Amanda Filipacchi - Free Book Online

otherwise, he said he might not be there to let us in.”
    Roland got the manager on the phone and told him they’d be there in an hour.
    Lynn pondered the fact that Patricia thought Roland could turn out to be the man of Lynn’s life. She smiled to herself when she recalled having told Patricia about her secret name.
    Lynn, herself, didn’t really believe the story, but she did find it romantic.
    When Lynn was about six years old, she was at the birthday party of a friend of hers, on Long Island, whose wealthy family had the luxury of hiring a fairy, Miss Tuttle, to entertain.
    â€œAre you real?” Lynn asked the fairy.
    â€œNo. I’m a fairy. Fairies are not as real as people.”
    â€œI mean are you a real fairy?” Lynn said, impatiently. “Can you prove to me that you’re a real fairy?”
    â€œHow?”
    â€œI don’t know. You’re the fairy. You should know how to prove it.”
    â€œOkay, I’ll tell you something a real person would never tell you. Think of a secret name for yourself. This will be your real name. And one day, your Prince Charming will come along, and you will recognize him, because you’ll hear him say your secret, real name.”
    â€œWhat’s my secret real name?” Lynn asked.
    â€œYou have to decide for yourself. And it must be a name you’ve never heard before, a name you make up. And you must never say it to anyone.”
    â€œCan it be beautiful?”
    â€œYes.”
    Lynn thought about it for a while, and said, “Can it be Slittonia?”
    â€œNo,” Miss Tuttle the fairy said, thinking it sounded vaguely pornographic. She didn’t want to be accused of having a bad influence.
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œBecause you just said it to me. I told you that you could not say it to anyone. Including me. In fact, never say it out loud, even to yourself, not even in a whisper. Only in your mind.”
    So Lynn chose “Airiella,” in her mind.
    It was only when Lynn got older that she realized Miss Tuttle the fairy must have been down on men, down on love, and that she had given Lynn a secret message, which was: there is no Prince Charming; Prince Charmings are as unreal as fairies.
    For where, when, and how would Lynn come across a man who would, within her earshot, utter her secret name—a name she had made up when she was six?
    Lynn later learned that Miss Tuttle, the grim fairy, also worked in the neighboring town of Cross as a hairdresser.
    When Lynn and Roland entered the tiny lobby of the inn, no one was there. On the front desk were two keys, with a note that said, “For Roland Dupont and guest: In case I’m not back, you can go straight to your rooms.—Max the manager.”
    They went up. Lynn took the key to room six, and Roland the key to room seven. The door to room six did not have a number on it the way the other doors did, but since it was the only door between rooms five and seven, Lynn assumed it to be the right one.
    As she pressed her key against the keyhole, the door gently swung open on its own.
    Inside the room were two people having sex and talking about the weather. They did not notice Lynn right off, which was how she got to hear some of their talk.
    The woman was lying on her back, on a desk, and the man was standing between her legs, thrusting. The man saw Lynn first and stopped. He turned red quickly, batted his eyes, but apart from that, was frozen. Lynn backed out, stammering.
    The man pulled out of the woman and gushed with apologies. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Are you my new guests?”
    Roland had joined Lynn in the doorway, and they were both speechless as the man grabbed his shirt off the floor and wrapped it around his waist. The naked woman had gotten off the desk and was crouching behind it, hiding.
    â€œI’m really sorry,” the man said to Lynn and Roland, “this is so excruciatingly, exquisitely embarrassing. But the