Read Online Little Black Girl Lost by Keith Lee Johnson - Free Book Online

but—”
    â€œI don’t wanna hear it, Mama!” Johnnie screamed.
    â€œAll I’m tryin’ to do is keep you from making the same mistakes I made when I was yo’ age. I know you don’t understand now, but in time, you will.”
    â€œDo you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? Do you? Lucas Matthews is the only somebody who truly cares for me.”
    â€œI care about you, honey,” Marguerite said as compassionately as she could.
    Johnnie laughed cruelly. “You care about me? You? That’s a laugh. You’re the one who turned me out! You’re the one who pimped me! My own mother!”
    Marguerite slapped Johnnie across the face with the back of her hand. Johnnie slapped her back and the two women engaged in an all-out brawl. Marguerite grabbed Johnnie, put her in a headlock, and shouted, “Who do you think you are, disrespectin’ me and talkin’ to me like some fool on the streets? Girl, don’t you know I will kill you?”
    Fueled by her fury, Johnnie was stronger than Marguerite, and was able to free herself of the headlock. She grabbed Marguerite by her thick hair, put her in a headlock and flipped her. Marguerite went down hard, making a loud thud when her body hit the floor. They rolled on the floor, grunting, trying to get in blows.
    Marguerite yelled between grunts, “No face scratchin,’ goddamn it. No face scratchin’!”
    Suddenly, they were back on their feet, hitting each other on the head, but not the face. Glass shattered, keepsakes broke, but they kept fighting as if it were to the death. Both women remained careful not to cut up each other’s face. Marguerite got tired and Johnnie tackled and climbed on top of her. She slapped her silly, yelling at her after each blow was delivered. Smack! Smack! Smack! The blows went against her head.
    â€œDon’t you ever—” Smack! Smack! Smack! “put your hands—” Smack! Smack! Smack! “on me again! You touch me again and I’ll kill you! You hear me? I’ll kill you!”
    The stinging blows stunned Marguerite. As she shrank back from Johnnie, putting her hands up to ward off the blows, Marguerite realized her daughter was no longer a child in a woman’s body. Johnnie was a full-grown woman with a mind of her own now.
    Knowing she was now in charge of her life, Johnnie shouted, “You got a lot of nerve sayin’ you love me! How, Mama? You love me how? A year ago, I was a church-going, good Christian girl! What am I now, Mama? I’m a whore! Your whore! That’s what they call me at school! The white man’s whore! Just like you, Mama! Do you know what happened to me on the way home today? Do you even care?”
    Marguerite, on her feet now, tried to explain again, but Johnnie kept on giving her a piece of her mind.
    â€œWhen I got out of school today, a crowd of kids followed me. They were sayin’ all kind of cruel things about me. One boy kept talkin’ about me. He kept sayin’, ‘Don’t you suck his dick, whore?’ Do you know how that makes me feel, havin’ the whole neighborhood knowin’ my shame? And for what? To put food on the table and clothes on yo’ back? Well, I’m not gonna do it no more! Not for you! Not for anybody! From now on, I’m makin’ the rules! And I will have Lucas Matthews. Lucas was the only somebody who stood up for me. He beat the boy up for sayin’ what he said about me. Lucas likes me and I like him. And I’ll tell you something else too, Mama. I’m gonna do it with him.”
    â€œWhat am I supposed to do, Johnnie?” Marguerite asked, full of sorrow and remorse. “How am I supposed to live?”
    â€œDon’t worry, Mama. I’ll keep takin’ care of you. You showed me how. I’ll say one thing for you, Mama. You were right about men. They all want me. Every last one of ’em. And now that I’m a