get girls. You will get some cash to spend on yourself or at least for your phone recharge.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘What is the point of calling her whenever she wanted to talk to you and why the hell did you solve her every problem and listen to her?’
‘I don’t know but what’s wrong with that?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Then?’
‘See, a girl needs a guy who can solve her problems, listen to her all the time, and can talk to someone who listens to her without expecting anything. That’s what you were doing for her. If she was getting all this from you, then, I mean, why would she make you her boyfriend? Girls never make such guys their boyfriends.’
‘But what’s wrong with me? I am good looking, I care for her, and in fact love her.’
‘See, girls are impressed by guys who remain mysterious to them, who don’t go to them so easily. Once you are available to them all the time, they will take you for granted and will dump you in the friend zone.’
‘But isn’t that the ironic? I mean, it’s a good thing, right? Always available for her whenever she wants to talk to you and needs support from you. I mean, how come I would lose importance?’
‘Because you are stupid! Logic doesn’t work here, my friend. Okay? Let me give you an example. You have immense respect for Shah Rukh Khan. Right?’
‘Yes. He is a superstar.’
‘Right. And suppose you talk to him on a daily basis, would you care for him and respect him in the same way as you do now?’
It was a tricky question and I remained silent.
‘You won’t. It’s human nature, you see. You never give importance to stuff that you have in hand easily or that which is always with you. You don’t have to strive for it or be desperate about it. It’s the same with you and girls. When they know that they can have you any time they want, and for any goddamn problem they are in, you’d end up being the saviour why would they want you or, for that matter, crave you? They would, in fact crave someone who isn’t easily available to them, who flirts with them but doesn’t make it explicitly clear to them that he’s gonna be with them no matter what and in all odd hours. Girls never want someone who would be a problem-solver and who would keep on preaching to them on each and every topic. Got my point?’
‘But this is unfair. A relationship doesn’t work on candlelight dinners but on trust, understanding, and mutual affection.’
‘Great thought. Do one thing. Build a time machine and travel to a century earlier and try to use your funda there. Got it?’
‘I don’t know. Something is seriously wrong with girls out here. They will chase some stupid guys who will talk all sorts of nonsense with them, that too without an iota of knowledge, and flirt with them with as many dumb jokes possible. Then, of course, their usual tactic: have the girls sit behind them on bikes and apply the brakes just at the right junction and moment so that they can have the delight of “pressings”!’
‘And this is exactly what a girl likes, dude! A guy makes her laugh, gives her gifts. They are so soft that they would rather get impressed with a teddy bear than with a Salman Rushdie book that you carry on a date.’
‘Yeah! True. To add to this, something is also seriously wrong with my destiny. Hey, you know how to read the Tarot, right? Would you read the Tarot for me and check my fate?’
‘Okay, I’ll do that. You send me three questions and I will let you know. Before that, I will tell you once secret. The faster you bring a girl closer to yourself, probably to bed, the closer girls get to you.’
‘Wow! Wonderful. Here I am getting friend-zoned each time and you are suggesting that I go to bed with them. Are you drunk? I mean, I talk to you because I always consider you to talk sense but now you are completely out of your mind.’
‘Okay. Don’t believe me. Why don’t you try to hang out with a girl in Delhi? Long-term relationships don’t
Frankie Blue
john thompson
Alaina Stanford
Alexandra Ivy, Laura Wright
C.W. Gortner
Helena Newbury
Jessica Jarman
Shanna Clayton
Barbara Elsborg
James Howard Kunstler