Read Online Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus by Kathleen A. Bogle - Free Book Online

So, I totally would want to avoid that and not have to go through that.
    For those who do choose to spend the night after hooking up, there did not seem to be any convention with regard to whether the location was the man’s or woman’s dorm room or apartment. Students indicated that they made that choice based on situational factors. For instance, who lived closer to where the two met? Who had a better setup for someone staying over (e.g., his or her own bedroom)? In some cases, female students took into account where they would feel safe. Some men indicated that they were aware of this and therefore were willing to give up
    “home field advantage” in order to make the woman feel safer. Although decisions are made about where the hookup will take place, this can be accomplished without outright acknowledging that the plan is to hook up. Jack, a sophomore student at Faith University, illustrates how the two parties can figure out where the hookup will take place without verbalizing their full intentions: “You can just be having a conversation and suddenly she’ll be like: ‘I really haven’t been to your house at all this year.’ And then [she] comes back with you [to hook up].” How Far to Go
    Once the partners begin to engage in a hookup encounter, each person must decide how far to take things sexually. Obviously, an individual’s T H E H O O K U P
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    own moral beliefs and sense of self factor into how one conducts one’s sex life.18 But these are not the only factors guiding what takes place during a hookup. Perception of what peers do sexually also affects the level of sexual interaction. What students believe is normal within the context of the hookup culture seems to greatly affect how they conduct their own sexual behavior.
    Identifying the sexual norms is somewhat difficult given that hooking up encompasses such a wide range of sexual behavior. “Just kissing” may be the norm for a particular person or a particular group of friends on campus, while sexual intercourse is the norm for others. Despite this variation, there is one norm, specific to the hookup culture, which dictates how much sexual interaction is likely to happen. Some college students in my sample indicated that they would go farther sexually with someone during a hookup if they did not really like the person or did not think that there was any chance for a relationship with that person. On the face of it, this seems illogical. Why would students be more sexual with someone they did not really like or did not envision as a potential partner? Many college students realized that getting too sexual with a hookup partner early on is not a good way to begin a relationship. Students indicated that you should “take it slow” with someone you really liked and “get to know each other” for a while. Too much sexual interaction in the early stages of meeting someone was seen as ruining any chance you might otherwise have to pursue a relationship with that person. According to Max, a sophomore at State University: Max : If I see a girl and I think we’re just going to hook up, then it’s probably like we can do whatever [sexually] and it’s not a big deal and . . . I won’t see her as dirty, but if it’s a girl that I potentially want to have a relationship with and she does do all of that in the beginning, then I would kind of perceive her as dirty.
    KB : If “she does do all of that,” [meaning] sex, or even less than that?
    Max : Well, even less than that. [Emphasis by interviewee]
    As Max suggests, it is acceptable to do “whatever” with someone sexually who is “just a hookup.” Although Max says he would not perceive a girl as “dirty” in that situation, the point seems to be that he does not care. If it is just a one-night stand, it does not seem to matter.

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    T H E H O O K U P
    Some college women seem to have realized that men think less of them if they are too sexual during an initial hookup or in the early stages