Read Online Forever Yours by Daniel Glattauer, Jamie Bulloch - Free Book Online

soporific drone of a newsreader, she wrote Hannes a text: “If you’re still awake, don’t go to sleep. If you want to come over, come now!!!!!” She deleted three of the exclamation marks before pressing send.
    His reply came two minutes later: “Darling,” he wrote, “not tonight. But why don’t we go out for dinner tomorrow evening? If YOU want to!!!” Her disappointment only lasted a few minutes and bore no relation to the sense of happiness she could now take to bed with her. She liked this Hannes, who unlike his predecessor was not permanently on call. She wanted to get to know him better. She was looking forward to their first date.
7
    He must have done a course in composure. His greeting was casual, consisting of a three-second hand massage and a fleeting kiss on the cheek. He’d also arrived nine minutes late. She had to admit that these were the first nine minutes in which she’d felt longing for him. “Another six minutes and I would have left,” she lied. He smiled gently. And if it hadn’t been Hannes Bergtaler, pharmacy architect, standing there, one might even have said he smiled with confidence.
    Wanting to see him in the nicest light, she’d chosen a window table on the western side still embraced by the red evening glow. It was good for his sun lines. And when he laughed, Grandmother’s teeth hung like a hammock from one ear to the other. She regretted not having her camera; she’d have loved to remember him like this for ever.
    Judith was surprised that this time she was the one with no appetite. She was astonished that he spent minutes buried deep in the menu. And she started to become unsettled by the fact that his diffident gestures betrayed nothing, absolutely nothing of the tempestuous emotions with which he’d kept her spellbound for months.
    “Has anything changed?” she asked after an hour of good-humoured but trivial chit-chat. (Fortunately she didn’t let the words “Don’t you love me anymore?” cross her lips.) “Yes,” he said. “My attitude has changed.” He used the same tone in which earlier he’d said, “For pudding I can recommend the strawberry and chestnut tart.”
    Hannes: “I want to be careful. I want you to feel comfortable with me. I don’t want to pressurise you with my love anymore.” Judith: “That’s good to hear, and I really appreciate it, Darling.” She reached for his hand; he withdrew it. Hannes: “But?” Judith: “There are no buts.” Hannes: “I can sense there
is
a but.” Judith: “But that doesn’t mean you have to stop showing me that I mean something to you.” Hannes: “I can only be one way or the other.” Judith: “That might be honest, but honestly, it’s not a good thing. How did it work in your previous relationships?” Hannes: “I don’t want to talk about them. What’s gone is gone.” The sun had gone down now too. “Shall we go?” he asked. “Good idea,” she said.
8
    She wanted to kiss him on the way home; to be honest she could hardly wait. But the pace at which he walked was so regular and purposeful that she didn’t want to stop him and upset his rhythm. When she opened the front door he just stood there and said, “O.K.” Judith: “What do you mean ‘O.K.’?” Hannes: “I’m going to say goodnight.” Judith: “What?” Hannes: “I’m not coming up with you.” Judith: “Why not?” She found it almost impossible to disguise her disappointment. Hannes: “I think it’s better this way.” Nothing was ever better when people used that ghastly cliché, she thought.
    Judith: “But what if I really want to sleep with you?” Hannes: “Well, I’m delighted.” Judith: “Doesn’t the prospect excite you?” Hannes: “Yes, of course.” Judith: “But?” Hannes: “There are no buts.” Judith: “I can sense there is a but.” Hannes: “But excitement isn’t everything.” Judith: “O.K. Hannes, let me try again. I would love you to spend the night with me. I would really, really