Read Online Does it Hurt to Die by Paul G Anderson - Free Book Online

politically if Jannie speaks out in his current condition. We already have the conservative rabid white Afrikaner saying this proves that blacks are unfit to govern. To have someone who is perceived as being more liberal-minded endorsing that view will set back any kind of peaceful transition in this country by a decade. Besides, he’s stressed and not thinking straight, and should be sedated for twenty-four hours for his own health.’
    Chris looked at Digby. He had the feeling that a decision had been made that he (Chris) was not a part of. Digby ordered the intravenous Pethidine at the nurse’s station and signed for it.

Chapter 9
     
    Jannie felt sleepy and struggled to hold on to his consciousness. Through the mist that seemed to surround his mind, he could make out Renata’s profile. It was her smell; that very distinctive perfume that helped him focus. The blur that was her outline came closer, and she put her arms around him and her face next to his cheek. The contrast startled him: his beard against her soft wet skin. Putting his hand to his chin, he felt the stubble and then the wetness of her tears.
    ‘ Jannie, I’m sorry this has happened,’ she said as she lifted her face from his. ‘I’m just so glad that you’re alive.’
    He looked at her, and for the first time in many years wondered whether he had misunderstood how much she cared.
    ‘How long have I been sleeping?’
    ‘ On and off for twenty-four hours. They thought that you were suffering post traumatic stress and kept you a little sedated.’
    Jannie looked at her, wondering whether she had been part of the decision to ensure he did not speak out. He felt sure that that was the real reason he had been sedated, and wondered whether his friends would ever admit to it.
    ‘I bought the Cape Times for you to read. It’s probably the most balanced review of what happened.’
    Jannie picked up the paper and looked at the headlines: ‘NATION REELS FROM NIGHT OF EVIL’ and then in smaller print underneath, ‘pastor of church says all is forgiven.’ He quickly scanned the list of dead and injured people and saw Noah Smit’s name listed. Tears started to well up with the memory of that young, caring life, sacrificing himself to protect others. The sight of Noah’s body lifting off the church floor as the grenade exploded beneath him returned to his mind in its entire, ugly, full colour. He felt the anger rise as he recalled the laughter of the gunmen.
    ‘ They were just animals. How can anyone forgive them?’
    ‘ I know,’ said Renata. ‘The whole world is astounded. It’s not just the pastor who is saying he forgives them.’
    ‘ Well, they’ve obviously decompensated psychologically and aren’t thinking straight. They’re stressed out and are being led down the path of forgiveness by a pastor who doesn’t have anything really to forgive.’
    ‘ Jannie, the press wants to talk with you. They’ve been hounding the staff all day, wanting to know when you would be fit enough to speak. They see you, I think, as a source outside this sea of religious compassion.’
    ‘ Well, someone needs to bring some kind of clinical judgment to the situation and divorce it from the spiritual claptrap.’
    ‘ Jannie, the nation, whites and blacks, have been overwhelmed by the response to this attack. The mood is that the whites have at last been subjected to an atrocity similar to Sharpeville. Yet, for them to say that with God’s love we can turn the other cheek has huge implications for peace in this country.’
    ‘ Look, Renata, that’s all very well, but there’s something much greater happening here that threatens our very own lifestyle. Everyone is concentrating on the black-and-white issue and has apparently forgotten that South Africa features as a strategic point on the African continent and has resources valued by both the Chinese and Russians.’
    ‘ Jannie, please, I don’t want to argue with you, not now, I know your deepest