Read Online Diary of a Mummy Misfit #1 by Amanda Egan - Free Book Online
Authors: Amanda Egan
I’ve been on the other end of it.
Ned was gob-smacked by the news. “God Lib, do we really want Max exposed to snobbery like that? I hope it’s not the majority ‘cos I might start to have second thoughts about this prep lark.”
Luckily Fenella called to say that she had all but one completed surveys (au pair only at home) and not one felt that CCL should be abolished.
Rightly feeling very proud of herself but had to rein her in when she began talking about starting up the ‘GNOME’ group - “Get Nerissa Out (of) Manor (House) Education. Tempting but I couldn’t agree to it.
Wednesday 11 th June AM
Am now heartily sick of cleaning or stepping in dog poo or wee and smelling a combination of both. Dog is definitely getting spayed as soon as poss. No more puppies for him.
Put Christmas Fair on the back burner and started thinking about ideas for Max’s party. Have to get the invites out soon as August is such a bad month - half the London school set will be away.
He’s decided he wants a fancy dress party. Other requests dictated to me were:
Want to go as Dog
Fun games
Sunny day in my garden
All nursery kids plus Todd & Charlotte
No entertainer - bored with them
Cake must have lots of coloured icing and 5 candles
Must win one pass-the-parcel - it’s my birthday
Jelly must be green and ice cream chocolate. PLEASE can we have sprinkles?
No vegetables
Party bags must be good.
I giggled over the list as it sounded a bit like the sort of bargain bucket party I’d envisaged NM hosting for PP, albeit that the guest list was slightly longer. How funny that Max should be so sick of entertainers by the ripe old age of five. Just goes to show how many clichéd ‘mother-chucks-money-at-a-magician’ parties kids can take before they’ve had their fill.
Drew up list of my own:
Make invites - Dog theme?
Trawl web for cheap but effective Dog costume. Make own?
House too small to hold inside, so pray for that sunny day - but not too hot or Max will be ‘Melting Dog’. Contemplate contingencies if raining. Mini gazebo? (check Argos catalogue for bargain)
Web search new and exciting fun games.
Buy pass the parcel prizes and wrap - remember there has to be a sweet between each layer nowadays as no child must be subjected to the trauma of not winning! Who started that idea?
Start looking for inexpensive party bag treats - ratio of 3 sweets to 1 gift seems to be the norm. May break from the mould and do just 1 decent (small) gift per child. Would Max ever forgive me or could I start a new trend? To consider.
Buy cake tin in shape of a dog or dog’s head.
Draw up list of food - no vegetables.
Suddenly planning a party for 20 kids (at our own home!) seems a cinch compared to my new school commitments. Never would have considered the idea up to a month ago. Obviously constantly growing as a parent and learning to go with the flow my child creates.
PM
What was all that bollocks I was on about earlier?
Max was having his tea when he calmly informed me that he still wanted to have the party he’d mentioned but,
“I also want a puppet show.”
What? Everything was going so well and I thought I had it all under control.
“Yes, Mummy,” he continued, “But I don’t want a paid for one.” (He made this sound like a dirty word.) “I want you and Daddy to do it, like you do for me sometimes but for all my friends .”
Good grief. The child has clearly lost his marbles. I don’t think 20 kids would be entertained for very long by the kind of half arsed attempt Ned and I usually make at puppetry.
I played for time and said I’d discuss it with Daddy - hoping I knew what his response would be.
Thursday 12 th June
Went to bed in a huff last night. Can’t believe that Ned thought the puppet show
Ned was gob-smacked by the news. “God Lib, do we really want Max exposed to snobbery like that? I hope it’s not the majority ‘cos I might start to have second thoughts about this prep lark.”
Luckily Fenella called to say that she had all but one completed surveys (au pair only at home) and not one felt that CCL should be abolished.
Rightly feeling very proud of herself but had to rein her in when she began talking about starting up the ‘GNOME’ group - “Get Nerissa Out (of) Manor (House) Education. Tempting but I couldn’t agree to it.
Wednesday 11 th June AM
Am now heartily sick of cleaning or stepping in dog poo or wee and smelling a combination of both. Dog is definitely getting spayed as soon as poss. No more puppies for him.
Put Christmas Fair on the back burner and started thinking about ideas for Max’s party. Have to get the invites out soon as August is such a bad month - half the London school set will be away.
He’s decided he wants a fancy dress party. Other requests dictated to me were:
Want to go as Dog
Fun games
Sunny day in my garden
All nursery kids plus Todd & Charlotte
No entertainer - bored with them
Cake must have lots of coloured icing and 5 candles
Must win one pass-the-parcel - it’s my birthday
Jelly must be green and ice cream chocolate. PLEASE can we have sprinkles?
No vegetables
Party bags must be good.
I giggled over the list as it sounded a bit like the sort of bargain bucket party I’d envisaged NM hosting for PP, albeit that the guest list was slightly longer. How funny that Max should be so sick of entertainers by the ripe old age of five. Just goes to show how many clichéd ‘mother-chucks-money-at-a-magician’ parties kids can take before they’ve had their fill.
Drew up list of my own:
Make invites - Dog theme?
Trawl web for cheap but effective Dog costume. Make own?
House too small to hold inside, so pray for that sunny day - but not too hot or Max will be ‘Melting Dog’. Contemplate contingencies if raining. Mini gazebo? (check Argos catalogue for bargain)
Web search new and exciting fun games.
Buy pass the parcel prizes and wrap - remember there has to be a sweet between each layer nowadays as no child must be subjected to the trauma of not winning! Who started that idea?
Start looking for inexpensive party bag treats - ratio of 3 sweets to 1 gift seems to be the norm. May break from the mould and do just 1 decent (small) gift per child. Would Max ever forgive me or could I start a new trend? To consider.
Buy cake tin in shape of a dog or dog’s head.
Draw up list of food - no vegetables.
Suddenly planning a party for 20 kids (at our own home!) seems a cinch compared to my new school commitments. Never would have considered the idea up to a month ago. Obviously constantly growing as a parent and learning to go with the flow my child creates.
PM
What was all that bollocks I was on about earlier?
Max was having his tea when he calmly informed me that he still wanted to have the party he’d mentioned but,
“I also want a puppet show.”
What? Everything was going so well and I thought I had it all under control.
“Yes, Mummy,” he continued, “But I don’t want a paid for one.” (He made this sound like a dirty word.) “I want you and Daddy to do it, like you do for me sometimes but for all my friends .”
Good grief. The child has clearly lost his marbles. I don’t think 20 kids would be entertained for very long by the kind of half arsed attempt Ned and I usually make at puppetry.
I played for time and said I’d discuss it with Daddy - hoping I knew what his response would be.
Thursday 12 th June
Went to bed in a huff last night. Can’t believe that Ned thought the puppet show
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