Curse of Arachnaman

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Authors: Hayden Thorne
and coat on, his briefcase still dangling from his limp hand, and I could still smell the familiar scents of old leather car seats and carbon monoxide on him.
    "Honey, I'm not bailing you out of jail if that's what you're wondering,” Mom sighed as she shuffled past me in the direction of the stairs. At least she took the glass of water with the lemon slice and nursed it on her way to her bedroom. “I didn't raise my children to be juvenile delinquents. And the answer's no."
    Man. I lived with a tough crowd.
    So I upped the ante and made dinner. Like frozen pizza that had been sitting in the freezer for a couple of weeks now because apparently Mom forgot about it, and I figured it was high time to put some factory-made goodness out of its misery.
    Good thing it normally took everyone at least half an hour to wind down before shuffling off to the dining room. By the time they got there, everything was set: plates, silverware, napkins, glasses, salad, salad dressing, and pizza. I even cut the damn thing into nearly equal portions, fer chrissakes.
    "Oh, God,” Mom gasped as she froze at the dining room door. “Oh, Eric, please tell me you're okay. I don't think we can afford therapy right now."
    I narrowed my eyes at her. “I'm fine, Mom."
    "What do you need? Just tell me now."
    "Can I go out with Peter tomorrow for a nighttime date?” Flash perky, dimpled grin. Exude squeaky-clean teenage innocence (whatever that means). Widen eyes very slightly to complete squeaky-clean teenage innocence look. Hope like hell that everything was working its magic. Remind self to vomit before eating.
    "Mom, say yes and be done with it,” Liz said as she cautiously sat down at her usual place. She never took her eyes off me, either, and she didn't blink. Maybe she didn't dare blink. “I don't think I can survive another creepy Eric moment like this again, and that's saying something."
    From where I stood near the stove, I could feel the maternal energies vibrating in Mom. I could easily sense the yes-no battle going on in her head. Another five minutes of that, and her skull would've popped like a zit.
    "But you just went out, what, a few days ago,” she said. I figured as much.
    "It was a week ago, actually. And we were together for only two hours, in a family-friendly burger joint, with creepy children running all over the place."
    "Wow, that must've been a real threat to your manhood,” Liz said, still looking uneasy as she scowled at me.
    "Come on, Mom, it's not like we go against your curfew. We don't go to the same school anymore, either. By the way, would you like some red wine with your pizza? Hard day at work, you know..."
    "Mom!” Liz cried, panicking. “Do it!"
    "Okay, okay, yes, you can go out with him!” Mom actually pinched her eyes shut and flapped her hands in front of her as if she were warding off a swarm of flies.
    Broaden perky, dimpled grin at confused mother. “Thanks, Mom. You're the best. One glass of red wine, coming up."
    "Forget the wine,” she growled, rubbing her temples as she sat down. “Do we have whiskey anywhere?"
    I rocked.
    So I celebrated my victory by staying up late after doing my homework, sorting through my growing pile of hot gay ads, ogling the models, and letting my imagination do the rest. Then I cleaned up and sat down to write in my journal. The night was a little on the cool side, with the usual acidic fog forming up and down Vintage, so it was perfect for setting the mood. My lights had all been turned off, and I sat by my window, looking out and finding inspiration in darkness and urban grime. Once in a while, I'd hear police sirens wailing. I figured that my superhero buddies were all out there, up to their ears with cleanup work.
    I also wondered what the Sentries were doing, besides setting up the usual training grounds for the heroes. I knew better than to ask Dr. Dibbs for specifics, and Brenda sure wasn't going to let me in on anything, even though she was like my other

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