him, no matter how rude and disagreeable he was to her. Unlike Ben, she understood his motivations and his feelings and sympathized with him. He was fighting for Lily, not for himself, and he thought he was doing the right thing, even if it meant riding roughshod over Jessie. She was the bearer of bad tidings, and he didn’t want to hear bad news. No one did, and some people accepted it better than others. Bill didn’t. He wanted the very best recovery he could get for Lily. He wasn’t malevolent, he was just rough around the edges when things didn’t go his way.
“I’m sorry about your husband,” he said again, and Jessie nodded, trying not to cry at what he said. It was easier to talk about Lily than herself. And she was exhausted after two nights without sleep, which made everything even worse. “I lost my wife in a car accident when Lily was three. It’s a terrible thing,” he said gently. “I know how you feel.” Her emotions overwhelmed her then, and in spite of her best efforts, tears spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away with one hand, as he looked at her sympathetically. “I hear you have four kids. I’m sorry for all of you. At least you have them. All I have is Lily. She’s my whole world.” His eyes were damp as he said it, and they stood looking at each other for a long beat, momentarily partners in loss and grief. It was a singular kind of pain, and Jessie had never hurt so much in her entire life. Her whole being had been intertwined with Tim. They had spent every waking hour together when they weren’t working, and had been perfect partners in raising their kids. She couldn’t even imagine a life without him. And every time she thought about it, she wanted to scream in terror. How was she going to live without Tim?
She left Bill and the hospital a few minutes later. She had assured Bill that Ben Steinberg would be monitoring Lily closely and let her know if he needed her to come in. Tim’s funeral was the next day, and for now she needed to be with her kids. This time Bill didn’t complain.
She was home a few minutes later, and all four of her children had stayed home from school, and her neighbor Sally McFee had come by and brought them food. Everyone wanted to help. Chris and Heather were sprawled in the living room, watching daytime TV, Adam was in his room, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling with a blank expression, and Jimmy was sitting next to Heather, sucking his thumb, which he hadn’t done since he was three. They were a forlorn group, and Jessie looked no better as she walked in. Sally showed her what she’d put in the fridge for them. It was a mountain of food that none of them wanted to eat, but Jessie appreciated the thought. Everyone in the neighborhood felt terrible for them. Tim had always been the nicest guy they knew, and had even been helpful with their kids, not just his own. He was always willing to drive carpool, have their kids spend the night, or help a friend. Jessie looked at Sally with devastated eyes, and then Sally hugged her and they both cried. Jessie knew without saying it that her life would never be the same again.
They talked about the accident at the chairlift then, just to change the subject, and Jessie mentioned that she had a patient who had been one of the people who had fallen off. Sally and her husband knew two of the ski instructors who had been killed. They compared it to a similar accident that had happened more than thirty years before. The chairlift had been well maintained, but it was just one of those fluke accidents that happen, and sweep lives away, and alter other lives irreversibly, like Lily’s. It was fate, like Tim’s death two nights ago. And now Jessie had the rest of her life to face without Tim. After Sally left, Jessie went upstairs to pull out clothes for the kids to wear to their father’s funeral, and something for herself. She looked into Tim’s closet then, to find something
“I’m sorry about your husband,” he said again, and Jessie nodded, trying not to cry at what he said. It was easier to talk about Lily than herself. And she was exhausted after two nights without sleep, which made everything even worse. “I lost my wife in a car accident when Lily was three. It’s a terrible thing,” he said gently. “I know how you feel.” Her emotions overwhelmed her then, and in spite of her best efforts, tears spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away with one hand, as he looked at her sympathetically. “I hear you have four kids. I’m sorry for all of you. At least you have them. All I have is Lily. She’s my whole world.” His eyes were damp as he said it, and they stood looking at each other for a long beat, momentarily partners in loss and grief. It was a singular kind of pain, and Jessie had never hurt so much in her entire life. Her whole being had been intertwined with Tim. They had spent every waking hour together when they weren’t working, and had been perfect partners in raising their kids. She couldn’t even imagine a life without him. And every time she thought about it, she wanted to scream in terror. How was she going to live without Tim?
She left Bill and the hospital a few minutes later. She had assured Bill that Ben Steinberg would be monitoring Lily closely and let her know if he needed her to come in. Tim’s funeral was the next day, and for now she needed to be with her kids. This time Bill didn’t complain.
She was home a few minutes later, and all four of her children had stayed home from school, and her neighbor Sally McFee had come by and brought them food. Everyone wanted to help. Chris and Heather were sprawled in the living room, watching daytime TV, Adam was in his room, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling with a blank expression, and Jimmy was sitting next to Heather, sucking his thumb, which he hadn’t done since he was three. They were a forlorn group, and Jessie looked no better as she walked in. Sally showed her what she’d put in the fridge for them. It was a mountain of food that none of them wanted to eat, but Jessie appreciated the thought. Everyone in the neighborhood felt terrible for them. Tim had always been the nicest guy they knew, and had even been helpful with their kids, not just his own. He was always willing to drive carpool, have their kids spend the night, or help a friend. Jessie looked at Sally with devastated eyes, and then Sally hugged her and they both cried. Jessie knew without saying it that her life would never be the same again.
They talked about the accident at the chairlift then, just to change the subject, and Jessie mentioned that she had a patient who had been one of the people who had fallen off. Sally and her husband knew two of the ski instructors who had been killed. They compared it to a similar accident that had happened more than thirty years before. The chairlift had been well maintained, but it was just one of those fluke accidents that happen, and sweep lives away, and alter other lives irreversibly, like Lily’s. It was fate, like Tim’s death two nights ago. And now Jessie had the rest of her life to face without Tim. After Sally left, Jessie went upstairs to pull out clothes for the kids to wear to their father’s funeral, and something for herself. She looked into Tim’s closet then, to find something
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