sense for when someone was lying. I put it down to being a good reader of people – although Cait called it my ‘bullshit detector’ – and right now I was sensing some seriously fresh, steaming bullshit, because I could spot Sean’s nervous tics a mile off. He was shifting in the seat repeatedly, pursing his lips nervously, and had a twitch in his eye that was impossible to miss.
Any one of these alone made it screamingly obvious that Sean was anxious about something, but add all three together and it seemed to scream ‘guilty’. It definitely didn’t make me any more confident about the way this conversation was going to go.
‘Um … yeah … they are,’ he stuttered, completely avoiding eye contact, at which I nodded, deciding to just confront him head-on.
Pulling in a deep breath I tried my best to strengthen myself for what was coming as I tugged the newspaper out from under my handbag. ‘So it has nothing to do with this?’ I said blandly, a horrible suffocating feeling spreading in my chest as I opened the paper to show him the front page headline.
‘Sean Phillips and co-star Savannah Hilton turn fictional love into reality with their new engagement.’
Sean might be an actor capable of faking expressions to make a living, but as he ran his eyes over the paper there was no disguising that he looked as shocked as I felt. No, actually, shocked is the wrong word. Shock would indicate that he was unaware and had just found out, but it was clear that he knew all about the story. ‘Horrified’ would be a more accurate description. He was more horrified to be caught out.
Suddenly he was doing a very good impersonation of a puffer fish – eyes bulging, mouth opening and closing several times, and a vein popping up on his left temple as his wide eyes flicked to mine.
‘Fuck!’ His hand scraped through his hair so violently that he must surely have ripped several chunks out from the roots before he flung his arm back down onto the seat in defeat. ‘I didn’t want you to find out this way, Allie … I was going to tell you …’ His words petered off as he shook his head, shoulders practically deflating before my eyes, but all I could focus on was the fact that he hadn’t even attempted to deny it.
So it was true?
Shit. Even though I’d been worried, I hadn’t actually thought that Sean would really deceive me like this. I’d half expected him to laugh it off as a bluff of some kind. But no. What the hell did I do now? I was so stunned that I ended up just sitting there in silence as my heart quietly began to break apart inside my chest.
‘It’s not real,’ he blurted suddenly, snapping into the shell of my shocked thoughts. Blinking, I flailed the paper at him, pictures and all, just barely missing his head and then proceeded to have a complete meltdown.
‘It looks pretty bloody real to me, Sean!’ I snarled. Shocked at how aggressive I had sounded, I ran a shaky hand through my hair as I tried to get a grip on myself. I’m not sure I’d ever snarled before in my entire life, but my throat was so tight from the anger, hurt, and confusion roiling inside me that it had been the only tone I’d been capable of forming.
‘No! Allie, no. I swear to God, it’s just hype set up by the PR people to encourage the fans and get higher viewing figures.’
My breaths were shallow and wheezy as I felt on the verge of breaking down. If it was just a PR stunt, why hadn’t he told me about it? Staring at the face of the man I loved, the man I thought had loved me too, I tried to work out if I actually knew him at all.
Ignoring the anxiety in his voice and face, I squared off my glare with his eyes again. ‘It’s not real? So you and I can still be together?’ I questioned feebly, not knowing what else to say.
Cringing slightly, Sean winced and I felt another piece of my heart wither. ‘It’s not real, but it needs to appear genuine for the public. You and I will need to keep things quiet
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