their families. And that’s just the kind of colored man he turned out to be. Slept all day. Gambled away what little money he got. Drank too much. ’Course, it didn’t start like that. He tried to get work, but no one would give him a job. Didn’t have any references. No education to speak of. That didn’t matter so much when he was white. I mean, he was a Jew, he could pass for smart.” She stared out the window over the sink. Her voice turned wistful. “I let him rake the yard sometimes, but being honest, he made me uncomfortable. He always asked for more, you know? Like the world owed him something. Then again, that was exactly what Mel said about them. Always looking for a handout.”
Charlie pulled at his collar. The kitchen was stifling. He couldn’t breathe.
“It’s almost biblical, right? You become what you hate. I don’t know.” She waved her cigarette in the air. “Sounds like New Testament shit to me.”
All Charlie could say was, “I don’t understand.”
“Jesus, you’re slow, mister. What I’m saying is, that’s how it works. Mel hated coloreds more than anything else on earth, and then one day he wakes up and he’s turned into one.” She gave a raspy laugh. “No wonder the dumbass killed himself.”
Chapter Six
Charlie sat at the kitchen table in his house on his own. Sue was upstairs in bed watching Carson. Burt Reynolds was on. He could hear her laughing at everything he said. Normally, Charlie would be in there laughing with her, but right now he was on his sixth scotch and wishing to God he had the strength to take the knife out of his jacket pocket and jam it into his heart.
You’re gonna end up just like me
.
“Daddy?” Jenny stood in the doorway. She had her hair up in a ponytail. Her bathrobe was pink terry cloth. Like her mother, she wore pink foam rollers in her hair.
He asked, “Are you too old to get an Easter basket?”
She gave him a funny smile as she crossed the room. “Aunt Stella called looking for you.”
Stella. His baby sister who would steal him out of house and home given the chance. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”
Jenny took a glass down from the cabinet. She turned on the faucet and let the water run until it was cold. Charlie wondered when she had learned to do that. Babies didn’t come out knowing how to do anything but cry, shit, and sleep. Sue must’ve taught her. Or maybe she’d picked it up from watching. She was smart, his daughter. She had the world in front of her. She wasn’t like Charlie’s mother. She would have opportunities.
“Jenny?” Charlie waited for her to turn around. “You wanna go to college?”
She gave him that funny smile again. “Of course I do. I’m already taking courses at the junior college for credit.”
“You are?”
“Daddy, you pay for it.”
“I do?”
She laughed. “Silly, I’ve already been accepted to the University of Georgia. Remember when you gave me money for the application fee?”
Christ, no one told him anything. “I thought that was for ballet lessons.”
“You never listen to me. I haven’t taken ballet in years.” She kissed his head. “I think you need some sleep.”
“Wait a minute.” He stuck his hand in his jacket pocket—the one without the knife—and pulled out the ad from
Cosmo
magazine. “I wanted you to look at this.”
She unfolded the glossy page. “Max Factor?”
“Look at the model. See how she does her eyebrows?”
She stared at him like he was unbalanced, because that’s what all the women in his life did lately.
He said, “Even a pretty girl can do better, right? See how the model’s eye shadow is two-toned? I think you could do something like that and it’d be really nice.”
She nodded as she folded the ad back into a square. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll think about it.”
Charlie sat back in his chair as she left the room. That hadn’t gone as well as he’d thought it would. Then again, nothing was going well in his life lately.
Just like
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