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Authors: Kim Hunter
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her in the eyes. “But running away is not who you are, because you are not a coward. You are a brave man and you don't have to run. You don't have to hide. That's not who you are.”
She took his hand. “Come on, forget about class, I want to show you something.”
He looked up, still unsure what to do, but her eyes gave him comfort. They gave him enough reason to follow her.
“ Where are we going?” he asked.
“ Back to my secret place.”
17.
She led him though the woods, back to the same ledge she had brought him to the first day they had met.
“ Does this place look familiar?”
“ Please, don't ask me to take my clothes off again.”
She smiled.
“ Don't worry. I didn't bring you here for that . I want to share something with you. Something personal. Something I haven't told another soul before.”
She sat down, leaning against a large boulder, and he did likewise.
“ This spot was the birthplace of hope for my Nanna. Over the past few years I turned it into a place of shame, a place I gave myself to guys I shouldn't have. A place that made me feel hopeless. But you've changed that. You broke that pattern, and you've made it a place of hope for me again. You've made it what it has always represented for me once again.”
Leaf picked up a few twigs and rubbed them between her fingers.
"My Nanna, she hardly left the house, but when I was six years old she brought me here and told me the story of the Red Fox.”
“ Your tattoo?”
“ Her tattoo. She had it before my mother, and before me.”
“ You all have the tattoo of the Red Fox on your stomach?” Jay asked in amazement.
Leaf nodded. “You know, I've forgotten how to share things that are personal with someone else.”
“ You don't have to,” Jay said. “You can wait if you're not ready.”
“ No, I want to.” She threw the twigs out of her hands, pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I want to remember what it feels like to let someone into my heart.”
She took a deep breath.
“ When I was a child I was abandoned by my mother. My dad was a trucker, and too unstable to look after me, so he left me with my Nanna. She raised me. 'Old Lady Green' ,” she said. “Ask around, you'll hear plenty of stories—all of them lies of course. The whole town thought she was crazy, and maybe to them she was, but not to me. To me she was Nanna, and she was the best grandmother I could have wished for. Our house was full of cats, and she never had visitors. I guess it was easy to judge her from the outside and think she was crazy, but if you knew her heart like I did, you'd know she wasn't mad. You'd know she was a beautiful woman.”
She took a deep breath and glanced up at the sky, perhaps up at her Nanna.
“ She had this same Red Fox tattooed on her stomach as I do. We all got it when we were sixteen. Back in her youth, my Nanna said she spent a lot of time in these woods. At the time she was dating the preacher's son. She dreamed of marrying him but he was more interested in examining her body. They began a sexual relationship, and after a few months of secret meetings she told him she was pregnant. He was suddenly overcome with a religious shame and turned on her, calling her more hateful words than she could bring herself to share with me. He blamed her for their sin, calling her a harlot. He broke off their relationship there and then, and swore the child was not his. She had never felt so alone, so dirty, and so ashamed. She ran to this spot, into the woods, and cried her heart dry.”
She looked up at Jay and smiled.
“ And it was here that she first met the Red Fox.”
Leaf pointed to the small bushes where the rock ledge ended and the woods began.
“ He stood right there and watched her cry. When she stopped crying he listened to her scream out her frustrations. He listened to her blame her boyfriend, blame herself, blame God, blame everyone else. She then started blaming the Red Fox,
She took his hand. “Come on, forget about class, I want to show you something.”
He looked up, still unsure what to do, but her eyes gave him comfort. They gave him enough reason to follow her.
“ Where are we going?” he asked.
“ Back to my secret place.”
17.
She led him though the woods, back to the same ledge she had brought him to the first day they had met.
“ Does this place look familiar?”
“ Please, don't ask me to take my clothes off again.”
She smiled.
“ Don't worry. I didn't bring you here for that . I want to share something with you. Something personal. Something I haven't told another soul before.”
She sat down, leaning against a large boulder, and he did likewise.
“ This spot was the birthplace of hope for my Nanna. Over the past few years I turned it into a place of shame, a place I gave myself to guys I shouldn't have. A place that made me feel hopeless. But you've changed that. You broke that pattern, and you've made it a place of hope for me again. You've made it what it has always represented for me once again.”
Leaf picked up a few twigs and rubbed them between her fingers.
"My Nanna, she hardly left the house, but when I was six years old she brought me here and told me the story of the Red Fox.”
“ Your tattoo?”
“ Her tattoo. She had it before my mother, and before me.”
“ You all have the tattoo of the Red Fox on your stomach?” Jay asked in amazement.
Leaf nodded. “You know, I've forgotten how to share things that are personal with someone else.”
“ You don't have to,” Jay said. “You can wait if you're not ready.”
“ No, I want to.” She threw the twigs out of her hands, pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I want to remember what it feels like to let someone into my heart.”
She took a deep breath.
“ When I was a child I was abandoned by my mother. My dad was a trucker, and too unstable to look after me, so he left me with my Nanna. She raised me. 'Old Lady Green' ,” she said. “Ask around, you'll hear plenty of stories—all of them lies of course. The whole town thought she was crazy, and maybe to them she was, but not to me. To me she was Nanna, and she was the best grandmother I could have wished for. Our house was full of cats, and she never had visitors. I guess it was easy to judge her from the outside and think she was crazy, but if you knew her heart like I did, you'd know she wasn't mad. You'd know she was a beautiful woman.”
She took a deep breath and glanced up at the sky, perhaps up at her Nanna.
“ She had this same Red Fox tattooed on her stomach as I do. We all got it when we were sixteen. Back in her youth, my Nanna said she spent a lot of time in these woods. At the time she was dating the preacher's son. She dreamed of marrying him but he was more interested in examining her body. They began a sexual relationship, and after a few months of secret meetings she told him she was pregnant. He was suddenly overcome with a religious shame and turned on her, calling her more hateful words than she could bring herself to share with me. He blamed her for their sin, calling her a harlot. He broke off their relationship there and then, and swore the child was not his. She had never felt so alone, so dirty, and so ashamed. She ran to this spot, into the woods, and cried her heart dry.”
She looked up at Jay and smiled.
“ And it was here that she first met the Red Fox.”
Leaf pointed to the small bushes where the rock ledge ended and the woods began.
“ He stood right there and watched her cry. When she stopped crying he listened to her scream out her frustrations. He listened to her blame her boyfriend, blame herself, blame God, blame everyone else. She then started blaming the Red Fox,
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