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Authors: Julian Symons
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solitary? After all, I haven’t joined a slot racing club. I say it’s because Clare wouldn’t like the members to come here, but perhaps it’s because I like slot racing on my own.
Perhaps. Doesn’t matter. The question’s not going to arise.
3 o’clock. Wide awake.
Went to the supermarket in the High Street, marvellous place, met Mrs Payne and of course she asked about Clare. Said she was better, saw my opportunity.
‘I’m not quite satisfied, though. Do you know what she says caused the trouble? Her tooth powder.’ Mrs P stared, as well she might. ‘She’s thrown it out. I don’t think tooth powder could cause sickness, do you?’
‘I never heard of such a thing. Is she getting fancies?’ To Mrs P ‘fancies’ are like scarlet fever. Had a little talk with her about prices, very interesting. Corned beef in the supermarket is ninepence a tin cheaper than at Penquick’s. I believe the day of the private grocer has gone. Went home feeling pleased with self at mentioning powder. A good general is a bold general I thought.
Drinks in the evening, representative Fraycut selection. Payne and wife, retired naval commander named Burke, Charles Ransom secretary of local Liberal Party, one or two others. And of course Hubble plus wife, H smelling of drink. Susan handed round hot sausages and bits of things on toast, I looked after drinks. Had one or two. Told tooth powder story to people, including Hubble, asked him what he thought, had the powder caused the trouble?
He glared at me, made me feel uncomfortable. ‘Told you what I thought.’ He said something about high protein diet.
I was going to ask him how he explained the tooth powder and have another drink when Clare put her hand over mine (again!) and said I’d had enough. Caught sight of self in a glass, tie askew and head shining, was inclined to agree. I knew I had to keep absolutely clear-headed, in command of events. Clare introduced me to a ghastly man named Elsom, engineering executive, face full of teeth, recently come to Fraycut, Clare met him at some Liberal do. Conversation:
E How’s it going, old man?
Self Very well, thanks.
E Must have a bit of lunch one day. I mean, we’re more or less in the same line, I believe. What’s your office number?
Self I’m in quite a small way, you know.
E Still, I’d like to have a natter. Might be useful. Nothing too small to interest GBD.
Self GBD?
E Gracey, Basinghall and Derwent. My outfit. They tell me you’re by way of being an inventor.
Self Just an amateur.
E Don’t be modest. You must make your money out of something.
Obviously a pest. But I’ve dealt with people like this before, have a good technique of brushing them off, even though I say so. Introduced him now to Mrs Payne who started on at once about disgraceful English weather and their holiday in Spain. Had to give Elsom office number but got away after that. Subsequent technique will be to say I have another engagement if he rings, and if I’m not there then naturally there’s no reply.
Half an hour later they’d all gone. Clare in a filthy temper when we cleared things away, seemed to think I’d had too much.
‘Arthur, how many times have I told you not to take more than two glasses?’ Couldn’t say my dear. Unanswerable question. Didn’t try to answer it. ‘A glass filled with tonic water looks just the same as one filled with gin. No Slattery has been unable to hold his liquor but you are not a Slattery.’ Unanswerable again. ‘I remember when Uncle Ratty was out in Africa…’
Soon I shall be free of this, I told myself, I shall never hear the name Slattery again. Parties like these tire Clare out, and at ten-thirty she said she was going to bed. Self: ‘I’ll bring up your nightcap.’ Somehow I felt it was certain she would say she was too tired this evening, but she simply nodded.
Got the small Manila envelope out of briefcase. Made the drink. Hand trembling? Not at all. Put powder carefully into
Perhaps. Doesn’t matter. The question’s not going to arise.
3 o’clock. Wide awake.
Went to the supermarket in the High Street, marvellous place, met Mrs Payne and of course she asked about Clare. Said she was better, saw my opportunity.
‘I’m not quite satisfied, though. Do you know what she says caused the trouble? Her tooth powder.’ Mrs P stared, as well she might. ‘She’s thrown it out. I don’t think tooth powder could cause sickness, do you?’
‘I never heard of such a thing. Is she getting fancies?’ To Mrs P ‘fancies’ are like scarlet fever. Had a little talk with her about prices, very interesting. Corned beef in the supermarket is ninepence a tin cheaper than at Penquick’s. I believe the day of the private grocer has gone. Went home feeling pleased with self at mentioning powder. A good general is a bold general I thought.
Drinks in the evening, representative Fraycut selection. Payne and wife, retired naval commander named Burke, Charles Ransom secretary of local Liberal Party, one or two others. And of course Hubble plus wife, H smelling of drink. Susan handed round hot sausages and bits of things on toast, I looked after drinks. Had one or two. Told tooth powder story to people, including Hubble, asked him what he thought, had the powder caused the trouble?
He glared at me, made me feel uncomfortable. ‘Told you what I thought.’ He said something about high protein diet.
I was going to ask him how he explained the tooth powder and have another drink when Clare put her hand over mine (again!) and said I’d had enough. Caught sight of self in a glass, tie askew and head shining, was inclined to agree. I knew I had to keep absolutely clear-headed, in command of events. Clare introduced me to a ghastly man named Elsom, engineering executive, face full of teeth, recently come to Fraycut, Clare met him at some Liberal do. Conversation:
E How’s it going, old man?
Self Very well, thanks.
E Must have a bit of lunch one day. I mean, we’re more or less in the same line, I believe. What’s your office number?
Self I’m in quite a small way, you know.
E Still, I’d like to have a natter. Might be useful. Nothing too small to interest GBD.
Self GBD?
E Gracey, Basinghall and Derwent. My outfit. They tell me you’re by way of being an inventor.
Self Just an amateur.
E Don’t be modest. You must make your money out of something.
Obviously a pest. But I’ve dealt with people like this before, have a good technique of brushing them off, even though I say so. Introduced him now to Mrs Payne who started on at once about disgraceful English weather and their holiday in Spain. Had to give Elsom office number but got away after that. Subsequent technique will be to say I have another engagement if he rings, and if I’m not there then naturally there’s no reply.
Half an hour later they’d all gone. Clare in a filthy temper when we cleared things away, seemed to think I’d had too much.
‘Arthur, how many times have I told you not to take more than two glasses?’ Couldn’t say my dear. Unanswerable question. Didn’t try to answer it. ‘A glass filled with tonic water looks just the same as one filled with gin. No Slattery has been unable to hold his liquor but you are not a Slattery.’ Unanswerable again. ‘I remember when Uncle Ratty was out in Africa…’
Soon I shall be free of this, I told myself, I shall never hear the name Slattery again. Parties like these tire Clare out, and at ten-thirty she said she was going to bed. Self: ‘I’ll bring up your nightcap.’ Somehow I felt it was certain she would say she was too tired this evening, but she simply nodded.
Got the small Manila envelope out of briefcase. Made the drink. Hand trembling? Not at all. Put powder carefully into
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